Billie's ex has a new BF

[Billie The Puppet]

Sorry to hear that Billie, I am glad that I am in NC but I hate the way my mind drifts to thinking about her with other guys. Then today of ALL days I get this in my horoscope...

 

"Expect some delays, upsets, and unexpected turns when it comes to romance today, Aries. Jealousy may rear its ugly head, as you may at some point get the impression that your beloved is noticing someone else. Bear in mind that there's a strong chance that these impressions are illusory, and that the truth may be totally different from the way things seem. Take care to stay focused. Reserve judgment until you know the facts."

 

Kind of interesting but who beleives these things anyways....

 

I'm on the cusp but I believe I am Aries.

[Ajax]

Sorry to hear that Billie, I am glad that I am in NC but I hate the way my mind drifts to thinking about her with other guys. Then today of ALL days I get this in my horoscope...

 

"Expect some delays, upsets, and unexpected turns when it comes to romance today, Aries. Jealousy may rear its ugly head, as you may at some point get the impression that your beloved is noticing someone else. Bear in mind that there's a strong chance that these impressions are illusory, and that the truth may be totally different from the way things seem. Take care to stay focused. Reserve judgment until you know the facts."

 

Kind of interesting but who beleives these things anyways....

 

 

Hey, I'm an Aries too!

 

I haven't talked to my ex in six weeks. Doubt I ever will. But when I find out she's got a new dude I'm likely to break down again.

 

Like Billie, I'm friends with some members of her family who I knew years before meeting my ex. So I get the occasional bit of information. But from what they say she's cut them off almost as much as me, so who knows how accurate that info is.

[Username37]

Hey, I'm an Aries too!

 

I haven't talked to my ex in six weeks. Doubt I ever will. But when I find out she's got a new dude I'm likely to break down again.

 

Ugh...horoscopes...as interesting as they are. They should not be taken seriously. I'm a Cancer btw

 

Ajax, at least you got time to prepare yourself.

When my ex got a new boy, it was surprising as hell.

 

And Billie, I'm sorry dude, it's a terrible feeling. Cut contact with family, avoid the cancer that is FB and be strong

[Nkognito]

I keep hope but as time keeps on, I feel myself letting go. It really sucks because regardless of red flags, I would love to just work things out but its not my call.

 

Ajax I remember a post I think you put up but I looked and looked for it but cant find it. I think it had something to do with October 11th and in the last art of it said something about "I have a heart big enough to carry the love for two".

 

Do you remember this?

[Ajax]

 

Ajax I remember a post I think you put up but I looked and looked for it but cant find it. I think it had something to do with October 11th and in the last art of it said something about "I have a heart big enough to carry the love for two".

 

Do you remember this?

 

It could have been in one of my threads but it wasn't me who said it. Doesn't sound familiar.

[Billie The Puppet]

What is so weird is they have offered me too much info not knowingly etc. Basically all the women leaving cliches have just happened I found out his age and he is younger. All this is not from me prying info but from her sister sending me a fb message. I requested since I have been strong not asking questions or prying for them not to volunteer any more but I appreciate the honesty as the ex did string me along.

 

Like I said I want to keep my friendships but j want them to be based of of me not my ex. If it continues for my own health I may have to NC with them.

 

It's funny though ex's do change like complete 360.

 

I should get off the topic so I can move on but here it is:

 

2.5 years with me:

 

Pushed for engagement within first 6 months. ( honeymoon stage gave her promise ring as I am not going to commit that fast ) I love yous in love with you exchanges after 8 months

 

Year 2 really serious lots of future talk kids names etc,

 

2.5 discuss engagement/ ring browsing

 

Ends on accusations of cheating

 

2.5 months with him:

He gives her alot if attention at work

She bites. I love you at least from her already been said.

 

Funny she told me not to worry about her working with guys she doesn't look for relationships when she is in one.

 

It's funny I can control my self from not discussing the ex but if they continue to volunteer info I'll have to cease contact with them too.

 

Before replies pour in with she is in puppy love/ honey moon stage / latching on not to be alone / seems like she wants fun instead of a future etc/ rebound

 

 

 

I don't care these have all been mentioned by her family and others perhaps in an effort to cheer me up but personally I don't need to go back to hoping

 

If anything good has come from this is that very hope is lost.

Edited October 13, 2010 by Billie The Puppet

[michaelc82]

Dude,

 

Same thing happend to me. Immediately after we broke up, i was getting reports that she was with another guy already. She's now in a relationship with him. She even had the nerve to take him on a trip her and i had planned for over a year. We were planning to get married, lived together, the whole deal.

 

Crazy how much she changed.. She's got a new set of friends, and she changed her hairstyle and wardrobe.

 

Best thing we can do is be greatful we didn't end up marrying these miserable whores, and have had children with them. Good riddance is what I say. Still hurt by all of it, and still love her, but what can we do. It was all for the better.

[Banker Chick]

Sorry Billie. That has to suck.

 

Even though I don't want to be back with my ex (I know you've followed my story) I still know it will sting a little if I ever find out he's found someone else ... and the only way would be if he ends up posting a picture of him with someone else in his profile pic on FB (we aren't friends so I can't see anything other than profile pic). We don't have mutual friends or family so I'm golden there ... thank goodness!

 

Like someone else said, I try to imagine it already and even try to picture him with some cute girl to sorta help my mind start processing it. Sounds stupid I guess but I suppose we all do what we need to in order to survive.

 

Hang in there!

[Billie The Puppet]

The death of my grandmother came early this morning I swear this has been one horrible year.

 

Lots of typos hopefully still readable damn iPhone.

 

As for the ex I wanted her back, when it appeared like she was confused/single. I'm no longer wanting that. If it happens in the future we reconnect and we are both single guess what I can't answer that until then my answer now would be No because of my current emotions.

 

My ex dumped me and has every right to move on I would have rather heard. I'm developing feelings for someone else and it would be unfair to you for us to continue. I believe people can be confused but if that's the case let me go I want someone sure to confused. She string me along, lied saying no one else. Had she simply said their is some one else I'd back of I'm not into pick him or me as I believe in monogamy.

 

 

The part that stings more is she led me on, gave me all the stupid cliche lines she needs to be single when she wasn't even single that long because this was planned in a way. Funny thing is all I ever wanted was honesty. A few weeks before our break a female friend if hers needed advice. She drunkenly cheated and the ex and I told her she needs to decide who she wants to be with and tell her original boyfriend what happened. She ****en dished the advice but cowardly doesn't take it herself.

 

I could put so many statuses on my social networks that can refer back to this and she would get the point but I am not up for revenge plus I'd rather keep NC.

 

I'm supposed to hang out with the ex's sister again soon honestly she is amongst one of my best friends same with her Fiancé. My ex used to be my soul mate, best friend, gf, and ringless fiancé. Now she is only a FB stat. I can't be her fake friend. I'm honestly hoping she does not give her condolences for the recent passing.

Edited October 14, 2010 by Billie The Puppet

[Ajax]

The death of my grandmother came early this morning I swear this has been one horrible year.

 

Lots of typos hopefully still readable damn iPhone.

 

As for the ex I wanted her back, when it appeared like she was confused/single. I'm no longer wanting that. If it happens in the future we reconnect and we are both single guess what I can't answer that until then my answer now would be No because of my current emotions.

 

My ex dumped me and has every right to move on I would have rather heard. I'm developing feelings for someone else and it would be unfair to you for us to continue. I believe people can be confused but if that's the case let me go I want someone sure to confused. She string me along, lied saying no one else. Had she simply said their is some one else I'd back of I'm not into pick him or me as I believe in monogamy.

 

 

The part that stings more is she led me on, gave me all the stupid cliche lines she needs to be single when she wasn't even single that long because this was planned in a way. Funny thing is all I ever wanted was honesty. A few weeks before our break a female friend if hers needed advice. She drunkenly cheated and the ex and I told her she needs to decide who she wants to be with and tell her original boyfriend what happened. She ****en dished the advice but cowardly doesn't take it herself.

 

I could put so many statuses on my social networks that can refer back to this and she would get the point but I am not up for revenge plus I'd rather keep NC.

 

I'm supposed to hang out with the ex's sister again soon honestly she is amongst one of my best friends same with her Fiancé. My ex used to be my soul mate, best friend, gf, and ringless fiancé. Now she is only a FB stat. I can't be her fake friend. I'm honestly hoping she does not give her condolences for the recent passing.

 

I'm sorry about your grandma Billie, it's a hard blow to take, especially when you're not 100% to begin with.

 

Yeah, your ex could have handled things better. But the thing is that most people don't handle the end of relationships as well as they could. Even when the two people mean well and try to avoid hurting the other there is almost always some degree of deception. You know my story, my ex was telling me how lucky she was to have me right up until she dumped me. Was she lying? Maybe. Probably at some point. Was she interested in someone else at the time? Perhaps. We'll never know.

 

You've been doing really well moving on lately. With the additional pain of your grandma's passing, you're going to have some relapses and feelings about your ex both positive and negative. I think in this circumstance if she reaches out to you it might be a good idea to at least acknowledge it. But I don't think anyone would blame you if you didn't either.

 

Take care of yourself and family.

[PSG]

I am so sorry about about your grandmother! What a blow. Just know that everyone here is thinking about you.

Hugs

[Billie The Puppet]

I really don't want the ex to reach out, she is not the same person she was, it would seem phony/ fake if she does it electronically sure but I am in no way answering a phonecall from her. I want to remain NC but now I think I can drop counting the days,weeks etc

 

Yes my tone is bitter, she has moved on etc I'm bitter because she strung me along. I love the old her but just like my grandmother she is gone.

 

I'm far from over her but closer to the light.

 

I still think I am not into the dating scene at the moment but if it happens it happens.

 

 

I'm no longer looking for a chance, quite frankly it's a waste if they are with someone new.

 

I'll always love her in my mind and I still miss her but it's the same with my grandmother.

[michaelc82]

Sorry to hear this pain Billie.. I'm going through a very similar situation yet again with you.. Literally the day after we broke up, I got a call saying my dad was back in hospital with cancer (a brain tumor he had last year that came back)

 

i didn't mention this to my ex till about a month ago, we have'nt spoke since and I don't want absolutely any sympathy from her. I'm leaving to Australia to go visit him on Monday, and this is pretty much the darkest place I've ever been in my life. I relapse all the time, and overall I just feel ill and sick to my stomach more often that not. Stay strong, i'm trying to hold on myself. We'll get through this.

[PSG]

Yes..you have every right to be bitter. Like many/most of us on here. I am realizing I was in love with the man I thought my ex was...not the man he is. Sounds like the same thing with your ex. I sucks and it horrible and painful but better now that years down the road.

[Billie The Puppet]

What bothers me is how they need to find themselves even if it's in a new relationship and then they start doing stuff they were against while with you, or they do the same stuff but with the new s/o.

 

My ex hated that I had a smartphone and would use it alot she was all under the impression I only need a phone to talk. A few weeks later she is upgrading to a blackberry.

 

My ex wouldn't smoke pot, neither would I but I have occassionly. Now she is with a guy who does and I won't know for sure but I'm willing to bet she will start.

 

I don't like who she has become, which is great because that's the current her so no need to want her since she is that way plus taken. My thoughts are hovering around I want the old her who is gone. It's weird, I'll need to play the numbers game and start dating again but it's hard when you still carry feelings.

 

Now my ex pulled all the let's be friends things but never wanted to do anything friends would do.

 

I'm sure she is upset that I am still friends with her family. I have her families approval where this new guy from what I'm told so far us being tolerated because blood should be happy for blood. However he has already started to get on nerves with her family. My friend and her sister flat out told me that they choose not todo 4 somes ( both couples ) like they did back when I was in the picture. We use to do many vacations together. I semi chalk that up to them trying to cheer me up and my character is not to let them judge him based on me. If he makes her happy don't feel bad for me and don't alienate them. I think with time he will grow on them. It's unfair to him and my ex if they base anything off of me.

 

Her sister has stated that the sister relationship since us breaking up has started heading south. It could be because I am friends with the sister but I don't know.

 

Our break up is semi bad terms as I saw and email, made an accusation and from then on been split. ( the email combined with a weekend of cold shoulder ) the. Weeks after the break up the ex and are where in contact and she was feeding me all the lines a dumpee wants to hear except reconciation. However she says she wants to remain friends but can't accept I want to remain friends with her family but can't with her.

[VeveCakes]

Dude, you really gotta take a step back here. Firstly, I know you are friends with her fam, but maybe you should just take a time out from spending time and talking with them. I'm sure they would understand. Being in constant reminder is not doing you any good.

 

Secondly, you need to stop bothering yourself with the new person she is becomming. I hate when people rant on about how their ex changed and all this. Of course they change, there was a reason she wasn't happy, and now she is trying to find ways to change that. People always assume their ex changes to be fake, or so new ppl will like them, but did you ever think maybe they have been being someone they aren't this whole time, and that's why things didn't work out?

 

You need to get up to something totally new to occupy your mind, you are wasting your time with this. Its over.

[ShannonMI]

Dude, you really gotta take a step back here. Firstly, I know you are friends with her fam, but maybe you should just take a time out from spending time and talking with them. I'm sure they would understand. Being in constant reminder is not doing you any good.

 

Secondly, you need to stop bothering yourself with the new person she is becomming. I hate when people rant on about how their ex changed and all this. Of course they change, there was a reason she wasn't happy, and now she is trying to find ways to change that. People always assume their ex changes to be fake, or so new ppl will like them, but did you ever think maybe they have been being someone they aren't this whole time, and that's why things didn't work out?

 

You need to get up to something totally new to occupy your mind, you are wasting your time with this. Its over.

Vevecakes's posts always suck.^^ Just wanted to say that. She's posted about some of my issues and I never appreciate anything she has to say. Don't pay any attention to her.

 

Anyways...Billie, I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your grandmother. It's a horrible thing to go through when you don't have a SO to lean on. Just hang in there. We are here for you!

[Billie The Puppet]

I don't converse with her sister and my friend daily. They contact me seldomly and I answer those calls. All this info came from the same night my friend called to tell me. Like I said he is engaged to my ex's sister. Since then we have talked via fb, made plans etc and all parties agreed not to bring up my ex. All this is known to the ex that we are friends but for respect of the ex we don't call when she is home etc. Like I said she has moved on it's over. My rants about her changing were simply rants, she had freedom to be whoever she wanted. The phone thing was to fit in her new crowd of co-workers by her own admission. It's an example but your right I shouldn't be bothered about who she is becoming it's not my concern. I never asked her to be anyone but her self. I can't help who she developed feelings for but she always told me not to worry about her looking elsewhere. I didn't get insecure until she mentioned things like this. That last sentence was when we were together. She got cold one weekend, the next she is with a coworker so she did do exactly that. The weekend previous to the cold shoulder we were actively searching fir rings.

 

Thanks for the input, and caring. Just because I mention I want something doesn't mean I'll get it heck I want $35 million dollars etc.

 

Your right I need to stop worrying about who she has become it isn't my concern any more. Nor who she was as that's never coming back.

 

I appear strong to some LS and weak to others. Really I just miss the old ways and times. What is going to sound worse is I miss my friend, her sister and her father more than I miss the ex.

[Billie The Puppet]

Vevecakes's posts always suck.^^ Just wanted to say that. She's posted about some of my issues and I never appreciate anything she has to say. Don't pay any attention to her.

 

Anyways...Billie, I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your grandmother. It's a horrible thing to go through when you don't have a SO to lean on. Just hang in there. We are here for you!

 

Difference of opinions happen, I took some of the advice to think about. Heck we have had different opinions too. I mean I've seen the same advice in collegeguy's thread. To me if the ex has moved on and it's just the spark is lost being friends with really 1 member of her family isn't going to be all that damaging especially if the ex won't ever be a topic.

[SadGirl23]

Sorry Billie. That has to suck.

 

Even though I don't want to be back with my ex (I know you've followed my story) I still know it will sting a little if I ever find out he's found someone else ... and the only way would be if he ends up posting a picture of him with someone else in his profile pic on FB (we aren't friends so I can't see anything other than profile pic). We don't have mutual friends or family so I'm golden there ... thank goodness!

 

Like someone else said, I try to imagine it already and even try to picture him with some cute girl to sorta help my mind start processing it. Sounds stupid I guess but I suppose we all do what we need to in order to survive.

 

Hang in there!

 

Omg, same goes with me. I am kinda of getting this feeling that the men on LS all have ex girlfriends who left them for someone else or was in the process of leaving to be with someone within 1-3 months of the breakup. It is so sad! I see all these men pouring their hearts out which makes me wish my EX (who is a guy) would of felt like how you men on LS feels (in love, missing her, wanting to marry her, wanting to buy her a ring etcc).

 

I always say that I been trying to imagine my ex boyfriend with someone else already. I already imagine him buying her things and taking her out to dinner for the past 2.5 months now. Funny how He just text me last week that he needed to get something off his chest by saying "he is not seeing anyone, still thinks of me, and wants me to go to church with him" begging me too.. That was just a few days ago so..kinda reassuring that he is still single is nice to know since he volunteer to tell me that, but then again, my ex could be lying..its like I'll never ever know. Plus we don't have mutual friends nor we don't have facebook! I am worried that although these women dumpers are moving on quick, just the idea that male dumpers can do the same which makes me very sad

[Billie The Puppet]

Omg, same goes with me. I am kinda of getting this feeling that the men on LS all have ex girlfriends who left them for someone else or was in the process of leaving to be with someone within 1-3 months of the breakup. It is so sad! I see all these men pouring their hearts out which makes me wish my EX (who is a guy) would of felt like how you men on LS feels (in love, missing her, wanting to marry her, wanting to buy her a ring etcc).

 

I always say that I been trying to imagine my ex boyfriend with someone else already. I already imagine him buying her things and taking her out to dinner for the past 2.5 months now. Funny how He just text me last week that he needed to get something off his chest by saying "he is not seeing anyone, still thinks of me, and wants me to go to church with him" begging me too.. That was just a few days ago so..kinda reassuring that he is still single is nice to know since he volunteer to tell me that, but then again, my ex could be lying..its like I'll never ever know. Plus we don't have mutual friends nor we don't have facebook! I am worried that although these women dumpers are moving on quick, just the idea that male dumpers can do the same which makes me very sad

 

Well I hope things work out with you, personally I think men are more likely to go back than women are. Don't take that as false hope. I'd also mention when someone needs to reassure you they are not doing something they sometimes are.

[Ajax]

Well I hope things work out with you, personally I think men are more likely to go back than women are.

 

This is the impression I get as well.

 

 

 

What bothers me is how they need to find themselves even if it's in a new relationship and then they start doing stuff they were against while with you, or they do the same stuff but with the new s/o.

 

Yeah it's crummy. Like with you, I didn't try to stop my ex from being herself. In fact she made the point of telling me that she never felt like she could truely be herself with anyone before me. And then she also pulled the "finding/figuring herself out" thing. And like you said, they tend to jump back into a relationship with someone else and start doing things that it took you time to build up to.

 

I don't know that my ex is with someone now, but I'm expecting to find that out any day now. I had dreams last night that she was, and woke up pretty upset.

 

But in the finding oneself arena, I knew who I was and what I wanted from my life, and my ex was a part of that. But now I'm thinking of making some changes myself, things she wouldn't expect. I'm thinking of getting a tattoo, something that nobody would ever imagine I'd have. But I don't know what I'd get or where to put it.

[SadGirl23]

I'd also mention when someone needs to reassure you they are not doing something they sometimes are.

 

Goshh billie, did you really have to tell me that when I just said for all I know he could be lying?? Truth or "a possiblility that it could be true" still hurts either way which makes me so sad I don't blame you for thinking that way as I seen a lot of threads where a ex said "I'm not looking for another relationship" but yet turned around and got into one the next following day. It just makes me so depressed. Yeah I find it so weird that he had to tell me that he is not seeing anyone b/c he needed to get that off "his chest", but he also begged me to go to church with him.. I would feel very sick to even think this guy could be seeing someone (as you mention people sometimes do the opposite of what they say) yet he was trying to get me to go to church with him when he told me all that just the other day?? I mean could a guy be that much of a jerk.. i hope he wasn't lying to me.. oh well who cares nemore.... tired of being so hurt!! Billie, i can't just wait when I can look back and say "gosh that year was so hard, but i made it and im happy now"

Edited October 15, 2010 by SadGirl23

[Sonolumino]

Omg, same goes with me. I am kinda of getting this feeling that the men on LS all have ex girlfriends who left them for someone else or was in the process of leaving to be with someone within 1-3 months of the breakup. It is so sad! I see all these men pouring their hearts out which makes me wish my EX (who is a guy) would of felt like how you men on LS feels (in love, missing her, wanting to marry her, wanting to buy her a ring etcc)

 

Yeah it's not a fun feeling. Especially when you're a guy and you have another guy with your ex-woman, it's such a primal caveman feeling of anger and sadness. But, the reality is, our ex's don't want us anymore and we're all trying to deal with it as best we can. I for one feel better posting on this site, it does help to know that there are other people out there. As far as what your ex said to you, that's nice to hear, but don't put too much weight in it. One week before my ex got a new bf she sent me similar "leading me on" texts.

 

Then again, my ex is a cold hearted, horrible person who rolled her eyes at me when I told her I loved her, so your situation might be different. God I hate girls sometimes. (Not women, girls)

[rattled]

God I hate girls sometimes. (Not women, girls)

 

High School-game-playing-immature-complex of sorts

 

I blame chick flicks and love songs.