Billie The Puppet Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Her sisters fiancé confirmed it to me just awhile ago, I am saddened but somewhat re leaved. I guess this is what I needed to hit rock bottom
Leandro Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 It happens. My had a new boyfriend a month after the break up and I'm sure they were talking before she left me. Right when I heard they were dating I knew we weren't going to be together anymore. I hit rock bottom too, but now there is no where to go but up. It's probably the closest the I got to a closure from her. Oh well. you'll be fine.
Shadowburn Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Look at the bright side! Now as no false hope left, you can finally move one!
Ajax Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 I'm sorry man. I guess it's a good thing that you semi expected it though. That way it wasn't a total shocker. But it still sucks. I'm fully expecting to find out that mine has a new guy any day now. She said she couldn't be in a relationship, buuuuuuuuut... we all know how that goes. But knowing her and what she's like now, I doubt that relationship will survive long anyway.
Author Billie The Puppet Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 Well it's weird she has every right to move on (as do I but I still can't romantically at this point) and I expected it, I just asked for honesty and wonder why she hasn't given the respect to tell me the truth. I had 3 guys I suspected and it was one of them. I placed her in the position to meet this guy too. Thing is the people I found out from are her family and are disgusted in her for treating me the way she did and she is already saying I love you to the new guy again something that she has every right to do. As for how I feel, I feel blessed that even though they are her family they respected me enough to not keep the little hope I had left yet I feel numb and don't know what else to think. It kind of is a relieving feeling finally knowing. Well now I have absolutely no reason to break NC and I will not feel guilty for the friends I have made through this by that I mean her sister, her sisters fiancé and her dad. I felt guilty contacting them when we were split but now I can lose that guilt. As for the new guy quite frankly I haven't a bad word to say about him, it isn't his fault. She is now his problem. AJAX: You will have a gut feeling the day you find out before it happens. I swear I was feeling sick this morning and was thinking today is the day I am going to find out something I just know it. I'm not the first to say this on these forums either.
Ajax Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 You will have a gut feeling the day you find out before it happens. I swear I was feeling sick this morning and was thinking today is the day I am going to find out something I just know it. I'm not the first to say this on these forums either. Yeah, I had that gut feeling the day she left, even though I thought things had been going well. Just that sinking feeling that ****'s about to hit the fan. She is now his problem. That's the mental position I'm trying to get in. While talking to her cousin and aunt this weekend they said they had the impression that the way our relationship progressed and ended fits her "MO." I wasn't the first, probably won't be the last. Anyhoo, it sounds like you're handling this as well as can be expected. Keep climbing that mountain. You'll make it.
SadGirl23 Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Billie, Just wanted to applaud you for staying so strong and not going off the edge unlike some. I've read your posts to others as I follow to hold back my tears, I am sure they are thankful for your advice. I am truly sorry that she failed to see what could of been! Although it is not easy to say "You can now move on", but it's easy to say you can now rest assure that her shyt no longer matters! So, if she gets a flat tire in the rain, needs a ride when her car breaks down and no one answers the phone, certainly, it is not your problem anymore (unless you still give a 2 cents)
SadGirl23 Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 I've had that feeling numerous times about thinking my ex is with someone.. but, for me, it turned out to be a false alarm. But I made my mind up to believe he is with someone anyways, maybe I am jinxing myself, but if it happens.. maybe it won't be so shocking as I embedded in my head that he moved on already
Don Ho Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Sorry Bro, that sucks. Unfortunately that's what happens. It's inevitable. Single women will find another guy pretty quickly. I think women have an easier time meeting people and getting together with someone soon after a relationship ... much faster than guys. Well, like you said, now you have your answer. I wouldn't look at it as "rock bottom", it's just gives you the motivation to abandon hope and truly start to move on with your life. Now get busy going forward you pussy!
Ajax Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 I think you've turned the corner on this, and it gives me some hope for turning that corner myself. I agree with Don that girls generally have an easier time getting back into relationships than guys do. Not saying that's always true, as there are plenty of ladies on here who can attest to that, but I think it's the nature of the beast. Once they have their new dude, it's over and out for good. Though I haven't turned the corner yet, I think I see it coming up. Like I said before, I suspect my ex has a new dude too. But I take comfort in the fact that I did everything I could in the relationship, and whoever she finds probably won't make her any happier than I did. And now I'm free to find someone I can make happy, though I think that will be a long and frustrating process too!
McGrupp Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 i dont think it's a great idea to post his facebook. i think you need to delete him/her and everything in between. accept that it is over and start moving on. please move away from people like her family that can let you know details about her life. try to meet someone also.
Author Billie The Puppet Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 (edited) Also to explain the need to not want to remove is also to keep NC, her not knowing I know in tact. A defriend will tell her something is up. For those curious to what she looks like she commented last on the photo of me I posted. However I think her privacy settings won't allow you to see her profile pics be it enlarged or not. Well I actually feel tired so maybe I will get some sleep, I haven't dreamed of her although I have thought about her every night before bed for the last 3 weeks. I was wanting to dream of her then but now I am not looking forward to the dreams I'll have tonight not wanting to dream of her. He is not added on my facebook, I don't even know him. I have nothing against him. He is an innocent party. I can't edit the post so I can't delete his FB. It is wrong of me to do so. though.\ I also want to make note that I have now removed the promise ring I gave her from the chain I wear around my neck. Edited October 13, 2010 by Billie The Puppet
McGrupp Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 dude who cares what she thinks if you defriend her? you realize this will last for like ever if you can still look at her pics/new bf/her happenings stop rationilizing. delete move on. deltel mutual acquaintances i mean YOU REALIZE ITS ****ING FACEBOOK RIGHT? FACEBOOK. DUDE...
VeveCakes Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 I think you're going a bit far by cyber stalking him...I mean what does it matter what he looks like or who he is, she is with him now and that's all there is to it. I also think you need to stop contacting her family, it seems disrespectful to your ex to be checking in for information from them. She has moved on, its time to follow suit.
Author Billie The Puppet Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 I think you're going a bit far by cyber stalking him...I mean what does it matter what he looks like or who he is, she is with him now and that's all there is to it. I also think you need to stop contacting her family, it seems disrespectful to your ex to be checking in for information from them. She has moved on, its time to follow suit. I admit the facebook thing is wring and if an admin can edit it out that would be good as for me contacting them it was them who contacting me, My friend is engaged to my ex sister, is is only related that way. So being friends with him I'm not willing to give up and that means I'd keep the friendship with the sister too. This is looking out for me I'm not too put my ex's feelings or respect on my decision for friends. To her father I did call after my friend told me the news but we dud nit discuss this news what so ever. He asked me not to be a stranger and they all said they miss me. Now I'm not going to go out of my way to contact them I'll keep it to lc as in if they intiate I won't ignore them. Like I said I'm looking at fir me my ex has no choice in the matter of whom I can be friends with.
Author Billie The Puppet Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 dude who cares what she thinks if you defriend her? you realize this will last for like ever if you can still look at her pics/new bf/her happenings stop rationilizing. delete move on. deltel mutual acquaintances i mean YOU REALIZE ITS ****ING FACEBOOK RIGHT? FACEBOOK. DUDE... She has her privacy set so I can only see some info, mutual friends are 2 her sister and a friend of hers she introduced me too. The rest are my family. I could do with or without this mutual friend. I can not see my ex's walk etc so no feeds from her, I care not to look at her FB etc. I could defriend it too but it may intiate her contacting me, which I could ignore but I'd rather just leave as is right now.
SadGirl23 Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Billie, How can you be so certain that her relationship with this rebound will work? I think I remember you saying you guys broke up 2.5 months ago, correct? It seems like a long time yet not really, but honestly, do you think she is that much in love with this guy in such a short period of time? I mean, did she know of him or date while you two were still together??
single Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 My ex meeting someone else was the single thing that helped me the most in moving on. As other posters have said it kills any hope and forces you to take stock of where you are and where you want to be. She didn't even tell me, my daughter did and even yet she still plays games and says he is not her type I never even had the luxury of NC like you so that's one good thing you have going, I do agree with others you should stop the Facebook stalking it's a horrible site that shows nothing but a false picture of people. I agree it's easier for women to meet someone quickly but I'm not sure they always meet someone decent when chasing it. So now you have to try and move on and look to meet someone else and have some fun, I have and it was when i wasn't really looking. I met a great girl from Poland (a whole new thread ) good luck.
andys Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 It does suck, I found out the girl I was dating at work is now in a relationship with another coworker! At least she's getting a rep as the office slut, and he's kind of a dork so I feel somewhat relieved she didn't "upgrade" as it where. I will not delete them both off facebook though as I don't want them to know it bothers me.
single Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Yes that does sound bad at least i only see mine when picking the daughter up. That's why I have little sympathy for this anguish over going or not going NC, people like you and me who have had to constantly see their ex never get this luxury. I would still delete them from FB though unless you are truly still friends with them I mean what's the point otherwise.
fabio10 Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Billie Im sorry to hear the news, but at least her sister gave you some fair warning in telling you to move on ! I know it must be gut wrenching for you but now it is time for YOU, no more facebook, no more meeting up with your ex's sister to talk about her only be friends with her if you can never mention your ex's name again, you have to get out of the mind set that your ex is making a hugh mistake if she is then she will find out herself. You need to really cut down contact with her family it will just keep reminding you! You can get through this, if she is capable of falling in love 2.5 months after you well my friend you are truely better off without her now STRONG VIBES MAN !!!!!
Author Billie The Puppet Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 I never talked about the ex, I was even reluctant when they brought it up. My friend felt I should know. He was told by her sister not to tell me unless I brought it up. I didnt but he told me any way. When I meet up it for me. In fact my friendship based with them is not to get info of her. I'm truly friends with them. I don't need any more info what so ever. I don't want to burn bridges with them so I'll continue to not bring the ex up. Like I said I'm doing LC with them if they initiate I'll talk. My friend would like to set me up so I'm not a third wheel all the time. We will see.
Author Billie The Puppet Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 Billie, How can you be so certain that her relationship with this rebound will work? I think I remember you saying you guys broke up 2.5 months ago, correct? It seems like a long time yet not really, but honestly, do you think she is that much in love with this guy in such a short period of time? I mean, did she know of him or date while you two were still together?? This is moot point, he could be a rebound, she generally could like him. I got more info that I wanted as I'm told she is already throwing out the I love yous to him. Broken up for 2.5 months for a 2.5 year relationship. I don't want to manufacture hope by hoping this relationship fails and even if it does she won't come back. She was majorly clingy for the first 2 years with me, I didn't mind but I think she loved the honeymoon stage. We did fine when we were working together because we saw each other every day. After we got different jobs we basically were a weekend couple. She works with him and he has a place with room mates so she is given more attention. Anyways this doesn't help me in any way. I don't wish anything from this. Her new relationship is none of my business.
Nkognito Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Sorry to hear that Billie, I am glad that I am in NC but I hate the way my mind drifts to thinking about her with other guys. Then today of ALL days I get this in my horoscope... "Expect some delays, upsets, and unexpected turns when it comes to romance today, Aries. Jealousy may rear its ugly head, as you may at some point get the impression that your beloved is noticing someone else. Bear in mind that there's a strong chance that these impressions are illusory, and that the truth may be totally different from the way things seem. Take care to stay focused. Reserve judgment until you know the facts." Kind of interesting but who beleives these things anyways....
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