michaelc82 Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Hi everyone, I've posted a few times in here about my breakup.. Short and sweet, I'm 28 she's 30. we were together 1.5 years, lived together, she moved out, she didn't know what she wanted to do (went through her 30's bio-logical crisis I think), which lead me to have to break up with her instead of being strung along. I didn't really have any options... She basically muscled me into breaking it off with her. We work together, and I still live in the same house that we lived in together.. when we first broke up I went NC for a few weeks, then we talked heavily for a couple weeks, and I went back to NC as it was too hard for me. Coming this friday it will be 1 month of strict NC.. Seen her a couple times at work but haven't said a thing to each other. She's waved at me with a big smile from a distant, or left me things in my mailbox that she had of mine. 2 weeks after we broke up I learned that she was with another guy already, and she even had the nerve to take him on a trip her and I had planned for over a year.. I was going to propose to her on this trip which makes things incredibly hard. She was my best friend, and the love of my life.. Now she's gone. She even told me when we were breaking up that this is the hardest thing she's ever had to do in her life, and I agree that this is the most pain that I've ever felt as well. Even though she's directly in a rebound relationship I still love her completely and unconditionally. It's been about 2 1/2 months now since we broke up and I still wake up every morning thinking about her, and feeling sick to my stomach that I lost my dream girl. I've become suicidal to some degree and am having a really, really hard time getting over this. Which is horrible considering I have my life in order, have awesome friends, a great job, but just can't stand to live without her. She was the missing link that completed everything. I've seen therapists, and am talking to friends and doing things to better my life, working out, dating other people, but nothing is helping. My therapist told me that I'm possibly a "Love Addict".. but i've never felt anything like this with anyone ever before (and i've had a number of long term relationships)... It really feels like with each passing day my love for her gets stronger, and the pain get's stronger.. It's one in the same. What I thought was my soulmate isn't anymore, and I feel completely empty now. I have lost the will to live as the pain is too much. I've written down all the bad things about our relationship, but the good things outweigh anything bad.. Heavily.. It was a kind of love that only comes around once in a lifetime. I've seriously gotten to the point were I feel like I need to write her a letter every single day until I don't feel anything anymore. I was a very gracious dumpee through out this whole ordeal, never txt msg'ed the hell out of her, no annoying phone calls, very respectful and tried to get on with my life.. I'm learning now that I still have the will and need to fight for her, and I don't want to be old and gray know that I didn't put my everything into trying to get her back. Thoughts anyone?
Shadowburn Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 The night is the darkest just before the dawn. Once you'll make it over the hump, you'll feel better with each passing day. Please believe it. Just keep pressing on, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. When you don't feel like getting out of bed every morning and facing another day of your life without her in it, please have faith - you WILL get over her, and the day will come when you won't care as much. We all BTDT. Crying out letters that got ignored, gut spilling emails that made you feel embarrassed as soon as you hit "Send". You've been gracious dumpee - please remain as such. You want to be remembered by her with respect and fondness, not with horror and pity. =I'm learning now that I still have the will and need to fight for her, and I don't want to be old and gray know that I didn't put my everything into trying to get her back. She left you. She acted on her own free will. She is with another man. It is over. Respect her wish to be free from you and don't humiliate yourself fighting this losing battle. You want to be old and gray and to know that you were wise enough to step back and let go, and you would be proud of yourself for being a man enough to do just that. Best wishes and know that you're not alone.
PSG Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Please know that it will get better. Can't believe i am saying that after only being broken up for a week ....but it will get better..it has to get better. Here is a quote (not sure where it is from) that always makes me smile (even through tears): Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly.
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