Any chance of getting someone back after you have treated them bad?

[EricaH329]

Thanks for the response erica makes alot of sense. So what if the guy came back after a couple of months and had his S**** together and realized where he messed up what you think the chances of getting back together are?

 

You are asking for my personal opinion on this. And my personal opinion (in general) is that I always give people second chances. Even third chances. If they are in my life, and they are able to hurt me, then that means I care about them. And human beings make mistakes.

 

However... I am not your ex. Your ex may have a completely different idea about that sort of thing. I wouldn't necessarily take everything that is said on LS to be fact. It's all opinions and personal experiences. In the end, you have to do what you think is right, and she needs to do the same.

 

And how long would you wait?

 

I wouldn't wait at all. When my ex came back, I was trying to move on. I just so happened to believe he deserved another chance. I shouldn't have given him as many as I did, but i've learned from that.

 

And also do you think her negative feelings about me will change? It wasn't bad the whole time maybe the last couple of months of a couple years.

 

Everyone makes mistakes. It takes time for the hurt to pass, and understand that what was done, wasn't done maliciously. I'm sure she will forgive you. On her time though, not yours. So don't be surprised if she doesn't want to talk right away.

[skydiveaddict]

There was a poster here who said you get "one chance per woman per lifetime". I don't know who it was but I think he is right. It has been my experience as well

[theone11]

Thanks again but when I last spoke to her she said there was nothing left that I could do...I think I should give it some time or she will just pull back further!

[skydiveaddict]

I found it

[Capthxc]

 

First, if you do happen to get back with her, the relationship will never be the same. She will always remember how neglectful you were to her, and be cautious about when it's going to happen again. It'll always be in the back of her mind.

 

Second, if you have it in you to treat her that way, you most likely will again... even if you don't realize it. If this was an on-going problem, which it sounds to me like it was, you probably didn't even realize you were doing it at certain times. This same concept can (and most likely will) be applied to the second time around.

 

Unfortunately, I think what you want (just as the rest of us) is the relationship to go back to when it was great. It won't. Not in the same way. The relationship has been tainted. Whether it was your fault, or hers, it doesn't matter. The highs will not be as high anymore, and the lows will increasingly get lower.

Hah, that's almost exactly what my ex told me when we broke up and i begged for a second chance on the spot. She said i've proven to her time and time again that history repeats itself, and that what i've done only poisons relationships, and the thought in the back of her head will always be "why now, why not before"

 

All i can really do is prove to myself that history doesnt repeat itself, and that i wont cause the same problems that caused my last break up to happen. Whether she comes back or not.

[skydiveaddict]

Thanks again but when I last spoke to her she said there was nothing left that I could do...I think I should give it some time or she will just pull back further!

 

 

Give it all the time you wish. She's already gone.

[theone11]

Sad but true.