Jump to content

Any chance of getting someone back after you have treated them bad?

theone11

By theone11
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

theone11 Member

theone11

Posted
Posted

Hey guys this is my first post here, have seen alot of good advice so I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions for me. My girlfriend of 1.5 years left me a couple of weeks ago. At first our relationship was excellent but during the last couple of months we began to fight alot. Most of it was due to my part of taking her for granted and always taking and not giving enough. I started a new job and became consumed with it and barely paid any attention to her and she said she did not feel special. The relationship became stale and sex started to become less and less. Finally she said that was it. I tried to get back with her for a week saying I would change and all of that since I realized my mistake but she said she gave me alot of warnings and doesnt want to take a chance again. She said she was upset that I didn't try harder during the relationship which I regret badly. She says she can't see me because she likes me too much and i might get her back if I see her. I haven't spoken to her for almost a week the last time I asked if there was anything possible I could do to fix it and she said no. Do you think after some time a part she might come around or that since the last couple of months were bad she will always remember those bad times and feelings? Does the heart grow fonder with time apart even with the bad memories? She did say she felt happier being away from me although this was only a few days after we broke up. Could this change and she might acctually miss me? If I only had another chance this girl was so in love with me and I blew it in a bad way! The last time we talked was basically good bye. Any suggestions besides the fact that I should have treated her better?

Billie The Puppet Established Member

Billie The Puppet

Posted
Posted

Chances of getting an ex back after treating them good are slim, bad would be even slimmer.

 

Us dumpees really have to stop looking at getting them back it's difficult if it's a first love like my situation.

tornandmarried Established Member

tornandmarried

Posted
Posted

theres always hope...but first u have to move on and work on yourself....give her more than enough space and who knows maybe shell date someone truly abusive and realize wow my ex wasnt that bad at all....relationships can linger for decades off and on, being its true love...but yeah work on yourself, dont let yourself feel too guilty about it taking a girl for granted isnt the worst thing u can do.......pick up a friendship in the future and if its ment to be itll just happen, just stand on your own 2 feet without her and shell respect that

nittanylion Established Member

nittanylion

Posted
Posted

I say go no contact for 1 month that mean no email, cellphone, facebook, or any form of communication. Assess your situation, and go from there. At this point, any form of communication would be detriment to your state of mind, and emotion. Do it now, before its too late and you might not a have chance in the future. Good luck to you!

  • Author
theone11 Member

theone11

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks guys, I'm just going to tough it out maybe she will come around...

Billie The Puppet Established Member

Billie The Puppet

Posted
Posted

NC for a month = ebook win your ex back strategies. Careful these may set you up for rejection. Let her come to you, meaning NC can be anywhere from a few seconds to never.

nittanylion Established Member

nittanylion

Posted
Posted
NC for a month = ebook win your ex back strategies. Careful these may set you up for rejection. Let her come to you, meaning NC can be anywhere from a few seconds to never.

 

 

Okay, maybe a month is too short. Let go for 3 months or until he is emotionally stable. :p

  • Author
theone11 Member

theone11

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Are those ebooks even any good? And I guess I can't contact her until she contacts me is what I gathered from here!!

Gt.ooh Established Member

Gt.ooh

Posted
Posted
Chances of getting an ex back after treating them good are slim, bad would be even slimmer.

 

Us dumpees really have to stop looking at getting them back it's difficult if it's a first love like my situation.

 

Agreed Billie.. I am in the same situation.. First love, put in everything I had..

  • Author
theone11 Member

theone11

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Anyone else have any experience of being in a situation like this either being the dumper or dumpee? Where you know you deserved it.

Username37 Established Member

Username37

Posted
Posted

I feel ya dude.

 

I wasn't exactly the best with my ex too.

 

Give her space. No contact. Once the pain goes away and everything doesn't seem so fresh, start again.

  • Author
theone11 Member

theone11

Posted
  • Author
Posted

How did it work out for you man? And why the F*** do we treat people like that? This is so self inflicted it makes me F'in sick to my stomach!!!

SadGirl23 Established Member

SadGirl23

Posted
Posted
Chances of getting an ex back after treating them good are slim, bad would be even slimmer.

 

Agreed! Look, I treated my ex fairly well being a girl. I think I treated him more like a woman, than he treated me as LOL. I cooked, cleaned, helped him out by giving him money, loan him money also that he never paid me back, bought him expensive gifts in which one of them he wears everyday which is his watch, and I didn't get anything but a "It's best we break up after 5 years of being together". WOW, talk about being good.. luckily he realizes it all right now. Not sure if he is sweating it, but he certainly has been loco cabeza (been actin crazy) lately and is starting telling me all the time how I was a good person to him. Pathetic guilt trip of his. :confused: Anyhow I treated him good and still got dumped.

Capthxc Member

Capthxc

Posted
Posted
How did it work out for you man? And why the F*** do we treat people like that? This is so self inflicted it makes me F'in sick to my stomach!!!

I know what you mean. The worst part about it all is that i did it to myself, not her. It literally makes me sick to my stomach that i was able to push someone who cared so much about me that far away to where i dont even know where she stands anymore. The silent treatment is driving me absolutely insane.

livelife Established Member

livelife

Posted
Posted
Chances of getting an ex back after treating them good are slim, bad would be even slimmer.

 

Us dumpees really have to stop looking at getting them back it's difficult if it's a first love like my situation.

 

So are you saying, if you have broken up with your first love, its slim to none that you guys will ever rekindle?

  • Author
theone11 Member

theone11

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Do you think after enough time has passed that you could show them that you changed? Or they are so done with you at that point that they could not care less?

Username37 Established Member

Username37

Posted
Posted
How did it work out for you man? And why the F*** do we treat people like that? This is so self inflicted it makes me F'in sick to my stomach!!!

 

It didn't work. That's why I'm still here.

 

It's painful. She was my first love and everything.

Time heals really. Got dumped May 16th. Was a total wreak and now, I'm slowly feeling better even though she got a new boy.

  • Author
theone11 Member

theone11

Posted
  • Author
Posted

What method did u use on her? Did you end up contacting her at all after? What happened?

Username37 Established Member

Username37

Posted
Posted
What method did u use on her? Did you end up contacting her at all after? What happened?

 

Went NC for a week. My intention was to get her back by ignoring her. Broke it because she contacted me a lot and I got false hope. Sent her a letter, found out she had a rebound hook up and she called me the next day saying no. On NC since June 20th (ironically the day we started talking 2 years ago)

 

Suggestion: NC. If she contacts you, don't get your hopes up.

Cuchara2 Established Member

Cuchara2

Posted
Posted

What you should be asking yourself is do you DESERVE getting her back? Do you really think you're the best thing for her? If you answer no to the first one, fair enough, as long as you change yourself and if you DO get another chance actually treat her well. If you answer no to the second one then you shouldn't even bother.. It's harsh on her.

EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

Posted
Posted

I actually came to this thread because I thought you were my ex. It sounds exactly like the same thing he put me through.

 

I gave him chance after chance to prove to me that I meant something to him. I think I gave him a total of 4 chances. From what I learned, there are a few things I can tell you.

 

First, if you do happen to get back with her, the relationship will never be the same. She will always remember how neglectful you were to her, and be cautious about when it's going to happen again. It'll always be in the back of her mind.

 

Second, if you have it in you to treat her that way, you most likely will again... even if you don't realize it. If this was an on-going problem, which it sounds to me like it was, you probably didn't even realize you were doing it at certain times. This same concept can (and most likely will) be applied to the second time around.

 

Unfortunately, I think what you want (just as the rest of us) is the relationship to go back to when it was great. It won't. Not in the same way. The relationship has been tainted. Whether it was your fault, or hers, it doesn't matter. The highs will not be as high anymore, and the lows will increasingly get lower.

 

My advice to you, is to go NC and really focus on yourself for awhile. The negative qualities about you that you would like to improve before setting out on another relationship. In a few months, if you still feel the need to be with her and you've done a lot of self-reflecting, then you should contact her. Until then, though, i'd suggest figuring out who you are before trying to get back into a relationship where you were the one who made the same repetitive mistakes.

 

Just my two cents.

  • Author
theone11 Member

theone11

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Thanks for the response erica makes alot of sense. So what if the guy came back after a couple of months and had his S**** together and realized where he messed up what you think the chances of getting back together are? And how long would you wait? And also do you think her negative feelings about me will change? It wasn't bad the whole time maybe the last couple of months of a couple years.

Edited by theone11
Jannah Established Member

Jannah

Posted
Posted

Not if she is resentful. IF she is, then you are f#cked.

  • Author
theone11 Member

theone11

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Any suggestions from the girls that had this happen to them, where they were badly in love with the guy then after being treated bad over time just gave up and broke up. What should I do?

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...