bleeg Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 My gf broke up with me beginning of July. She basically said she was no longer happy. Tough first month but it's been a little over 3 months now and I've cut contact completely. She suddently texted me saying she gave a book my mom let her borrow to a mutual friend so she can give to me. I didn't reply. She then called me a few hours later and proceeded to ask how I'm doing and yadda yadda yadda, shooting the ****. I played it confident, very smooth and I let her know a lot has changed and for the better. A week later she sent me a text asking me to meet up with her for a coffee. She misses our friendship. Here's the thing. We never had a friendship. Before we dated for 2 years, she had a major crush on me and I was not giving her the time of day. Everybody has convinced me to go for this coffee with her and take it from there. A month ago she wished me all the best in the world and we can't be friends. I'm confused. lol
Nkognito Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Do you know what you want? From your post, you two have been away frome each other a while. It sounds like she wants a second chance and is obviously reaching out in the form of coffee. I would meet her, keep it short like you are in between errands and see how she is doing. Stay off the relationship topic though, DO NOT bring up any of it. The door to the relationship of your past is closed, this is a brand new room. She needed some space to get her ducks in a row, she might have that now and she had you in mind. Take this as a good sign and meet up with her, if she really wants to get together for drinks then give let her know you're busy this weekend but you're free the next. Don't jump into a date so soon but dont brush her off verbally like you dont have time. If she see's a stronger more independant side of you then that might be what she needed. Maybe she felt she was not on the straight and narrow because you were not. Don't bombard her with all the changes you have, they were never for her, they were for YOU. I am not saying make her get on her knees begging but keep in mind if this is going to be a fresh start, make sure it is truly fresh and not just grabbing an old apple from one basket, polishing it and putting it in another. Start from scratch and you'll see it might be better but walk in without old memories and feelings, build new ones.
Author bleeg Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 Cool. It was weird when she called me after 3 months...I didn't recognize her work number because I was so used to getting calls from her cell, so I was caught off guard. We spoke for 30 mins, laughed it up, she was amazed and kinda taken back at how well I was doing. New job, new plans for the future, fun nights out, interesting new hobbies... I was becoming lazy at the end of our relationship, we didn't go out much. I felt I had her, no need to impress her anymore. Just became thoughtless and stupid. It happens I guess.
nittanylion Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 If you meet her, act cool, and neutral. She might try to test your interests, if she does, dont spill your gut to her. Just act like you can be happy, and independent, and that you dont need her. Just whatever you do, dont fall for her bs. Remain calm, cool and collective at all time. GLTY!
Author bleeg Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 So basically I met up with her tonight. Before we were supposed to be for coffee but an hour before, she made asked if we could meet at a bar instead. I said sure. She was hungry. I didn't eat. It wasn't all that awkward. I shot the **** for 45 mins and said I gotta split, I had plans. Walked her to her car, hugged her goodbye and left. She texted me shortly after some funny picture of a girl nagging a guy and the guy throwing her off a cliff and it says problem solved? She wrote "you might appreciate this" lol Don't know what that means but whatever.
Trovador Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 I'm intrigued. You know, pal, I never had patience to wait for a string of dates and conversations. I usually spilled the beans and asked my ex if she was interested in starting over... (after she showed too much interest in talking again)... when she refused I knew that I had saved myself a lot of time and disappointment... Not saying you should do that, but don't get your panties in a bunch, this might mean that she enjoys your company... as a friend, colleague, equal, whatever, but not as her man... nothing wrong in that but you could be instead investing this time and energy in finding and meeting different girls... just my opinion...
Nkognito Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Don't know what that means but whatever. That is exactly how you need to keep going about this. Don't make yourself available to her. She needs to want to come back into this and she won't do it if you are easily available. But it's in the back of her mind, just keep your distance until she decides its okay to talk.
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