eltsac Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Hi All, A little advice needed here... My ex and I broke up a little over a month ago. After the break up it was a bit messy for me, she dumped me for need of 'finding herself' and to stop depending on me so much etc... Anyway, we broke up, however in the subsequent weeks it was still wierd, she would still end texts with 'i love you' and 'i miss you' and it was all a bit odd. When we met up once a week it was all holding hands and smiles etc., but she had dumped me so I needed to sort it out. I didn't want to be a comfort blanket and just get strung along. I somewhat want her back, but once she has sorted her issues. But for then I just though, cut the ties, move on and what will be will be... So I did and she drove off angry, upset and probably like me a bit heartbroken. However I feel I had to do it, otherwise I'd be holding on to hope and since then I've been doing well. So no contact for a while, in that time I met a mate. We have many many mutual friends. I briefly mentioned to him that I have something of my exs that I want to give back, as he saw it and asked. No big deal... Then a week later she texts me, saying, 'id really like you to keep it, its yours etc... I hope you are well, its very strange not knowing how you are... Take care xxx" I responded saying thank you and I hope she is well too and that everything is going smoothly (in respect of her looking for a job and getting life on track).. A bit annoying as it sent me back somewhat with then starting to think of her a bit again which is not what I need. Why did she reach out? If I wanted to give it back sooner I would just say... She then replied with a little joke, saying she is doing ok, everything is not going smoothly though and job hunt not good, but she hopes everything is cool with me... The thing is, that seems like her reaching out for a bit of emotional support or something. I don’t want to get sucked into this again, but I am there for her if she needs. Like I said, I would want to get back together, but am unsure how to play this really. Should I ignore the latest message, or give a polite response (that may not indicate to her I am still thinking about her) or give a response thats more supportive and affectionate? On another note... and I really need some advice with this one... its our anniversary coming up and I'm not sure what to do really... any advice on that?
Don Ho Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Bro, there is no "Anniversary" you're done. No don't respond to her and don't contact he in anyway.
Author eltsac Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 Bro, there is no "Anniversary" you're done. No don't respond to her and don't contact he in anyway. Haha, I know man.. Its more from a perspective of, if I did want us to happen again, would I be worsening the situation by not saying anything. You're right though, probably best not to say anything, and in truth saying something may only hurt me more. Like I said, whilst I want her back, its only if she changes, and its too soon to say she has done. Its wierd though, because although I'm meeting other women etc., i'm still in that spot of comparing them. Like, I want to move on, and am slowly doing so, but by her texting me etc., it reverts me back to thinking of her. Thats why I want to go no contact in a way, but not at the expense of any future together, and I feel almost rude for not replying.... she did dump me, but I never really hold any resentment towards things. There is for some things she has done, but i tend to rise above and not think of it...
Don Ho Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Haha, I know man.. Its more from a perspective of, if I did want us to happen again, would I be worsening the situation by not saying anything. Thats why I want to go no contact in a way, but not at the expense of any future together, and "Happen again"? WTF? No, you would make the situation worse by contacting her, regardless of the occasion. What "future"? You're history. Do you not get it? "I feel almost rude for not replying.... she did dump me". And you feel rude? Bro, get a grip. Move on.
andrew-bkk Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 She's using you for emotional support. Pure and simple. Don't go down that road. She'll play you. She'll use you. She'll screw your head to bits with false hope. This happened to me. Stay as you are. Be strong. She'll respect you. Go back to her and she'll like you. But that's all she will ever do. She will only ever like you. Just like one of her gay male friends. But she will never respect you. It's an odd thing. Move on; ignore her; never see her again; and she'll respect you. But if you go back to her, she'll know that you are weak. And she will know that she has done the right thing in leaving you.
Banega100 Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 She's using you for emotional support. Pure and simple. Don't go down that road. She'll play you. She'll use you. She'll screw your head to bits with false hope. This happened to me. Stay as you are. Be strong. She'll respect you. Go back to her and she'll like you. But that's all she will ever do. She will only ever like you. Just like one of her gay male friends. But she will never respect you. It's an odd thing. Move on; ignore her; never see her again; and she'll respect you. But if you go back to her, she'll know that you are weak. And she will know that she has done the right thing in leaving you. This is all hideous, but absolutely golden. The truth right here.
nittanylion Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 She's using you for emotional support. Pure and simple. Don't go down that road. She'll play you. She'll use you. She'll screw your head to bits with false hope. This happened to me. Stay as you are. Be strong. She'll respect you. Go back to her and she'll like you. But that's all she will ever do. She will only ever like you. Just like one of her gay male friends. But she will never respect you. It's an odd thing. Move on; ignore her; never see her again; and she'll respect you. But if you go back to her, she'll know that you are weak. And she will know that she has done the right thing in leaving you. Man, you are woman-hater. LOL! I love it. keep up the good work, and Amen.
Oscar Wilde Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Dear eltsac, Do yourself a favour and move on. You don't need a person who do not respect you. No Contact is the way to follow. I'm right now in the same situation like you are. Yesterday I let her now not to contact me anymore and initiated No Contact. I'm moving on. I don't want a person in my life that plays with me. Last moth she used me as an emotional safe net. Not any more. Bests regards, Oscar
Recommended Posts