LoveTNT Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 I've stood by the thoughts and beliefs that I shall not contact thy ex!!! For his bday. But then I start feeling bad quick history break down: I'm the dumper. This last time was the second tome I said I was done! But I was just angry . I know I still have my reasons why I believe we needed the break, but I wanted to try. By this time ge was so angry with me, he stood firm on not taking me back. I begged. I cried. I gave LC a try. Then realized because he was stressed with life, depressed etc.. We weren't getting back Together anytime soon. he wasn't giving in. So I went NC completely! I'm currently on the 5th week. About 3 weeks ago I blocked him from emailing, texting and calling! But then a week later gave in and slowly unblocked one by one. He emailed me the day after I unblocked email, and asked if I still loved him, I have not replied. The reason for this is because, it's a selfish email. If he misses me he can actually call me. When I had questions I called him and asked and cried etc... So this Saturday is his bday, should I stay nc, should I mail him a card? I don't want him to think I don't care anymore. I love this man... I'm just trying to protect my broken heart. Slap me? Remind me why I shouldn't break nc for his bday!
skydiveaddict Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Yea but you're the dumper, had you been the one being dumped I could agree NC.. But at this point IMO, it's up to you whether to contact him or not. If I wanted him back I would, if not I wouldn't. It must come down to you and what you want
Author LoveTNT Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 (edited) Mmm, I said slap me!! Ok but I understand. For 5weeks straight I tried. I called, I asked to meet up with me, he would but just to talk. Sone days he was just so mean. Heartless. He wanted to go to counseling before we broke up. I said to please let me show him that I do love him and to meet up to try counseling, but he said he was confused and was depressed. So I went NC because there was nothing else I could do but respect his healing. Also respect my healing aswell. Ugh, this is so confusing, since I'm the "dumper" it makes it so freakn confusing. Were adults dangit, shouldn't I respect his space? I mean the day I decided to go nc I had asked him to call me and he was too busy so I said well talk when you're available. I don't hear from him for a couple of weeks then he sends me a simple email asking if I still love him!? I dont want to fall for no freaken traps! I just want to work it out if the love is still there and we BOTH want it.... :/ Edited October 12, 2010 by LoveTNT
Author LoveTNT Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 Look, I know I'm the dumper and my rants may seem childish, but the bottom line is this tear was difficult for both of us. I was becoming insecure and felt like I couldn't trust him. Late business meetings at bars because he's partnering up to try and open a bar. And making money in ways that go against my beliefs. There I said the 2 main reasons that help me stay nc. At the end of the day I don't wNy a man in my life that does these things and to him it may seem that I'm not being supportive with his business goals etc. He was wonderful with me 95% of the time but I think he was jus going through alot in the beginning of year losing his job etc... So when I came at him with " I'm done, I'm tired of this" he roles with it and blamed me! If I reach out to him for his bday Ill feel wrong for breaking nc, after all he did tell me a couple of times while being upset to leave him alone!! I'm scared of new hurt and feeling like I'm back to square one. I love him, I truly want to be there for him, but I can't save him. Still, I'm left confused wondering if I should reach out....
lofi_tokyo Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Heya LoveTnt, I can't tell you to contact your ex or not. It sounds like you don't want to, and if you really don't want to, then don't. What I can say is I can relate. I kept feeling like I should break up with my boyfriend, and he kept assuring me to stay. I dumped him yesterday, because of all my insecurities, and because he - like your ex - is depressed, and my insecurities stem from his depression (and my own problems). We talked it out, and are currently on a break right now (for a couple weeks). So I know how it feels to feel constantly insecure, and to see that the one you love is hurting in ways you can't fix. Part of me wants to be there for him, another part of me believes he needs to work on his problems on his own. How do you judge the right amount of support? Especially when its hurting you in the process? Your ex would probably be enthralled if you messaged him - and especially happy if you told him you did still love him. If you don't then its a turning point for him (in theory) because he'll have to finally move on. No more pretending. Perhaps the question you need to ask yourself is: What do you hope to achieve by maintaining NC? What do you hope to achieve be breaking it?
Author LoveTNT Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 I did it, I emailed him today to wish him a good birthday week/end..... and a few other inspiring words...
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