seekinglove Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Hi.. I am in a fix & need suggestions.. I am 30 and married for 5 years now.. my wife decided to seperate & is away from me since Jan this year.... Ever since then I suffered a lot to let go off the pain. I got into a physical relationship with an amazing woman who is 38 and is divorced. We both fell in love... like all or most of the men, I went on digging into her past and found that she was with 3 other men after she got divorced. While I had the sense to understand why she had a one night stand or physical relationships with 2 other men as well, I had deciced to let it go... it was her past & I had nothing to do with it... I did not find it essential to think whether situations forced her to it or it was her character which defined it... anyways, she is a wonderful woman and we both are in love and thats what matters the most. Recently though I had to meet her friends twice at a normal gathering and during the 2nd meeting felt that one of her friends was the man in her earlier life..I asked this to her and got the answer as yes.... he is married now but on her b'day expressed his feelings mentioning that he should have married her... I requested her not to keep in touch with this man or even meet him personally... I found it wrong that he still had his feelings for her and hugs her casually in front of me and his wife... while his wife knows nothing about it... my girl is now worried that I am not accepting her past... the only 2 women I had in my life were my wife and her... I need suggestions for the below - 1. Is it normal for me to feel helpless, jealous, angry etc., over this thing 2. Will I be able to get out of thinking about her past and move on? 3. If we keep running into this friend of hers, will he look down upon me for being a part of her now? Please suggest ... need it badly now...
alexlakeman Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Ex's as freinds typically are not a good thing. She's not respecting you. As a man, I've kept in touch with certain ex's, but given the chance I'd bang any of them , weather they have bf or husband. Think about it; each time those look each other in their eyes... Thinking of their last kiss. Each time you kiss ur gf in front of her "freind" / ex bf, he's thinking " I had my c.ock in that pretty little mouth of hers, which you kiss". I'm not into women being freinds with ex's. If I had a real gf and she would say dump d ex's that are freinds, I would.
bellabella Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 I have friends who are exes, one in particular is one of my best friends, if my boyfriend was that jealous and insecure, he'd be the one to go. He can't, and wouldn't, tell me who I can and can't be friends with. He trusts me and knows he is the one i want to be with now. (He has exes who he's friends with too and we both have many friends of the opposite sex) 1. Maybe not abnormal, but it's an over the top reaction 2. You'd have to make an effort to realise it's not a big deal 3. He will probably be amused. He probably will look down on you for being so insecure, not because you are a part of her life
annie_gordon_PI Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 It's okay to have ex's as friends, but the hugging is inappropriate. Especially in front of the current bf. My best friend is also an ex. Ex's that stay friends, can only stay friends if neither have feelings for each other. At this point in out relationship we exchange hello and goodbye hugs, but aside from that we wouldn't exchange any other touching. Point is, dude she shouldn't be all up on some dude who isn't you. 1.It's normal. 2.you will be able to, when he's gone. 3.he probably already has.
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