hearttobreak Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 How soon do you wait to tell the woman you are dating about your family? Like lets say your father went away to jail (white collar plea bargain) 20 plus years ago? It seemed to be a sticking point in my last relationship when I did not talk about it until her snooping mother found out about it and it eventually killed the relationship (though I think it was more the mother's distaste of me than anything else that killed the relationship). Although, when she brought it up, I explain everything, in detail and she said we were good. I said, if it is a problem, we can break now, she was shocked that I said that. Family is family and I will stick to mine through thick and think. We continued to date for another two months and then the mother killed it by making a lie up about me. Moreover, the mother's "friend". Long story short, how do I prevent a blow up like this from happening again? Then again, not sure why it matters, as it had nothing to do with me. Is this going to be an ongoing guilt by association?
denise_xo Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 My issues are different from yours but I have strained family relationships and I usually bring it up quite early so that the cat is out. My current partner has issues with it, but it's not something I can really change for him so like you said it's a bit of a take it or leave it situation. It's not really in your hands to control how others respond to it. In any case, I don't think you want to have a long term relationship with someone who thinks in terms of guilt by association.
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