Gt.ooh Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 (edited) My girlfriend of one year just broke up with me. It started out as just a break, then as I pushed she said break-up, and I just want to be friends...I got a little carried away with the "wrong" things..Txt msging, talking to her friend on facebook. It started out really good, we got along so well, we were inseparable. Then recently I began to see a change. "I want a break." I didn't accept it, and pressured her into the whys and what can I do to fix it? Her mind was made up.. It's really complicated for me because I couldn't just pick up and go. I had to move to the other side of the country to my original home, (she is going to school and therefore we couldn't stand being apart, so I moved to where she was going to school). I did the typical beg and pleading, (after leaving for home). She got to a point and I backed off, to let her be. My mind was racing and I couldn't help myself and I msged her friend on facebook after 2 days of leaving her be(no contact with her at all), to see what she's said to her. It was a short msg I meant no harm just wanted to hear it from someone elses' side; "she said there's no chance of you getting back together." (she never once said that directly to me)....She's also said "it wasn't meant to be, based on a "gut" feeling. Keep in mind these words only came up when I had been bugging her. Her friend must have told her I msged her, and later that day her number was changed and FB was frozen. I recently found out the number change wasn`t because of me, but for school reasons. (I haven`t asked for the new number as I don`t want to be friends, nor do I want to be tempted to txt right now). I fought hard to change her mind because I didn't want to just leave, as much as I wish I could`ve if she was going to a school in the same province as we're from. Since we started dating we were none stop txting, and getting together. When it came to space and me not giving it to her I pushed her buttons. We had a lot of good times and I never threatned, talked bad, or in general did anything other than a few txts, and ONE FB msg. So to sum up. I`m on 1.5 weeks of NC, I`ve never given her more than 1.5 weeks to herself since we started dating (you could say I was a little over-protective and I see that like the light at the end of the tunnel now..) What is your guys`take, give her time and space...she`s very strong minded and stubborn. She doesn`t think, she acts. So with some time to think, she`s uber busy with school...do you think she might come around. I`m not expecting a maricle..as some time needs to pass. I just don`t have anything really difinitive, and didn`t do anything really damaging. I`ve seen far worse posted on here... Sorry for the length I know it can be annoying but I really appreciate it. Edited October 12, 2010 by Gt.ooh
USMCHokie Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 So to sum up. I`m on 1.5 weeks of NC, I`ve never given her more than 1.5 weeks to herself since we started dating (you could say I was a little over-protective and I see that like the light at the end of the tunnel now..) What is your guys`take, give her time and space...she`s very strong minded and stubborn. She doesn`t think, she acts. Trust me when I say that she did think...probably for a very long time...and it was finally time for her to act...this had nothing to do with what you did or didn't do...it's on her...she didn't want to be in the relationship anymore...it's as simple as that... My take...? Permanent NC...give her a lifetime to herself...move on...
Jannah Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 My girlfriend of one year just broke up with me. It started out as just a break, then as I pushed she said break-up, and I just want to be friends...I got a little carried away with the "wrong" things..Txt msging, talking to her friend on facebook. It started out really good, we got along so well, we were inseparable. Then recently I began to see a change. "I want a break." I didn't accept it, and pressured her into the whys and what can I do to fix it? Her mind was made up.. It's really complicated for me because I couldn't just pick up and go. I had to move to the other side of the country to my original home, (she is going to school and therefore we couldn't stand being apart, so I moved to where she was going to school). I did the typical beg and pleading, (after leaving for home). She got to a point and I backed off, to let her be. My mind was racing and I couldn't help myself and I msged her friend on facebook after 2 days of leaving her be(no contact with her at all), to see what she's said to her. It was a short msg I meant no harm just wanted to hear it from someone elses' side; "she said there's no chance of you getting back together." (she never once said that directly to me)....She's also said "it wasn't meant to be, based on a "gut" feeling. Keep in mind these words only came up when I had been bugging her. Her friend must have told her I msged her, and later that day her number was changed and FB was frozen. I recently found out the number change wasn`t because of me, but for school reasons. (I haven`t asked for the new number as I don`t want to be friends, nor do I want to be tempted to txt right now). I fought hard to change her mind because I didn't want to just leave, as much as I wish I could`ve if she was going to a school in the same province as we're from. Since we started dating we were none stop txting, and getting together. When it came to space and me not giving it to her I pushed her buttons. We had a lot of good times and I never threatned, talked bad, or in general did anything other than a few txts, and ONE FB msg. So to sum up. I`m on 1.5 weeks of NC, I`ve never given her more than 1.5 weeks to herself since we started dating (you could say I was a little over-protective and I see that like the light at the end of the tunnel now..) What is your guys`take, give her time and space...she`s very strong minded and stubborn. She doesn`t think, she acts. So with some time to think, she`s uber busy with school...do you think she might come around. I`m not expecting a maricle..as some time needs to pass. I just don`t have anything really difinitive, and didn`t do anything really damaging. I`ve seen far worse posted on here... Sorry for the length I know it can be annoying but I really appreciate it. You have to give her space. Pressuring her is the same route women pressure guys for a relationship. Don't do it, trust me....
Author Gt.ooh Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 (edited) You have to give her space. Pressuring her is the same route women pressure guys for a relationship. Don't do it, trust me.... Yea I've definitely realized that. I'm giving the space. USCH..She told me she'd been thinking about things for about 2.5 weeks...after we'd just moved into a new condo. It's just so back and forth for me. That fact that none of the it's over type comments out until i pressured her. And I can't go lifetime no contact until I received more closure..I have furniture and my name is on the lease for the condo.. her mom told me to leave her be for at least a month and re-connect after. At least then if she clarified everything she's said.. I get closure maybe I can move to friends. It's only been a week NC after all.. just over 3 weeks total break-up.. I shouldnt' have said she doesn't think... she obviously thought about the decision.. I meant she doesn't overthink. Edited October 12, 2010 by Gt.ooh
Author Gt.ooh Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 I also can't let go and move on so early in this break-up err a break... hell I don't even know anymore. She was my first, taught me so much about myself it's unreal.. It's not as easy as NC for good so early...She meant a lot to me. And I know I had an impact on her as well as much as it might not show atm... I'd like to see her find someone else that would quit their job, leave friends and family, and drive across the country to be together. I honestly saw a break coming, and it's good in a sense.. She can concentrate on school, and what she really wants in life, and I can get back on my feet. Figure things out one way or the other. It's magnified for me just simply because it's 3,500 miles away.. If it were a break and we could get together for a coffee in a few weeks or w/e.. At this point it's too early to move on..
Fouts Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 It's over, move on or she'll probably end up not being nice about it.
Capthxc Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 I disagree. We have discussed it before, but i dont think you should quickly assume that its time to abandon all hope. Give her space. Dont break NC unless you -really- feel like you are ready to accept her answer, if you are even given one at all. A few weeks isnt enough time, no matter how much you might think it is. I've come to terms with the fact that i might not talk to my ex for months, maybe even years. Your best course of action would be to work on yourself, and let nature take its course. You will either move on or she will approach you for a second chance. I feel odd giving this kind of advice, since we are both in a very similar situation right now.
USMCHokie Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 USCH..She told me she'd been thinking about things for about 2.5 weeks...after we'd just moved into a new condo. Sorry to hear you're stuck in that situation with the condo... It's just so back and forth for me. That fact that none of the it's over type comments out until i pressured her. And I can't go lifetime no contact until I received more closure.. No one can give you "closure" except yourself... I shouldnt' have said she doesn't think... she obviously thought about the decision.. I meant she doesn't overthink. Not overthinking = decisiveness...whether it's the right or wrong decision, it's still a decision...
Author Gt.ooh Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 Thanks guys. Your input is great. USCH..thanks for the comment about the condo. It was nice, good location. I thought things were moving along well. I lived in it 3 weeks.. Captx.. thanks man. We are pretty similar i will say that. To add I talk to her mom every day.. went to her sisters for a hockey game on the weekend...Both of them haven't talked to her in the same amount of time that I've been NC.. So i don't know what's happening.. busy with school? Who knows, but it's strange she hasn't talked to her family in a week..
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