hardshipfamily Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 ok i have never done this and just looking for feedback..i am in a relationship with a wonderful man who was married before with two children 12 and 17 i was married before and have 3 children 5, 10, and 13...so i know what its like dealing with ex's but my issue is, the 17 year old has been very upset about the separation and her mother had alot to do with it...i am on good terms with his other daughter age 12...we get along great and she loves my kids...she has even confident in my on issues as i am more a friend to her... anyhow the 17 year old barely talks to her dad, and they use to be very close, she visits only at her dad/moms cottage he got the cottage in the settlement...when he ask to come and then when she is there she is very antisocial and doesn't even look in my direction... i find her very disrespectful to him as her father, she only comes to him when she wants something and him being the type of father he gives it...and i dont have no issues with that...he pays his child support as well more then what he is suppose too... anyways, an issue has arised that she calls for him to go over and help her bring something into the house, and in the mean time his ex wife has been calling saying she misses him...what should he do... i honestly cant accept him going to there house and helping her do something cos i feel its more for her mother then her and i feel once he starts he is going to keep on doing it... we got in a big fight about this and i looked like the bad person...i have been upfront about this type of situation just weeks ago when we were talking about our relationship and so on.... i want him to a relationship with his oldest daughter but she cant even come see were he lives now...or reply to his text ... i dont know what to do
2sunny Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 ok i have never done this and just looking for feedback..i am in a relationship with a wonderful man who was married before with two children 12 and 17 i was married before and have 3 children 5, 10, and 13...so i know what its like dealing with ex's but my issue is, the 17 year old has been very upset about the separation and her mother had alot to do with it...i am on good terms with his other daughter age 12...we get along great and she loves my kids...she has even confident in my on issues as i am more a friend to her... anyhow the 17 year old barely talks to her dad, and they use to be very close, she visits only at her dad/moms cottage he got the cottage in the settlement...when he ask to come and then when she is there she is very antisocial and doesn't even look in my direction... i find her very disrespectful to him as her father, she only comes to him when she wants something and him being the type of father he gives it...and i dont have no issues with that...he pays his child support as well more then what he is suppose too... anyways, an issue has arised that she calls for him to go over and help her bring something into the house, and in the mean time his ex wife has been calling saying she misses him...what should he do... i honestly cant accept him going to there house and helping her do something cos i feel its more for her mother then her and i feel once he starts he is going to keep on doing it... we got in a big fight about this and i looked like the bad person...i have been upfront about this type of situation just weeks ago when we were talking about our relationship and so on.... i want him to a relationship with his oldest daughter but she cant even come see were he lives now...or reply to his text ... i dont know what to do might as well accept that this is the way it will be... or leave and be on your own. you can't change him, her or them... you can only change YOU. can you accept this and move forward? it is part of his life. if you can't - then move forward.
Minnie09 Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 It looks like he feels guilty about something. That's why he can't say no to either his XW or daughter. The daughter knows that he feels guilty and uses the fact to her advantage (gifts, money). That's normal behavior of a teenage daughter after a divorce, especially if living with her mother who badmouths her father. Nothing else to be expected. Glad to hear the little one accepts you. The older one will give you a hard time for a while. Live with it and let your BF deal with it. As far as his ex is concerned, well, she's the mother of his kids and he will still feel responsible for her for a while. Probably until she finds some other guy. That's usually when it ends.
2sunny Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 did you date this man before or after his divorce? were you ever his OW while he was married?
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