Hhhh Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Everyone who does get a second chance disappears and never returns to tell the story unless it ends again in which chance they should be doing better and know how to cope with it... IMO
Art_Critic Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 But that one person actually never returned because he was hit by a truck the next day... Dude.. grasping at straws isn't the best way to heal... Some people do get their ex's back.. most don't.. some get them back only to breakup or divorce later on...some get them back and keep them... By the way.. why would you want someone back that doesn't want you ?
Ajax Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 I think that it's just that there aren't many people who get those second chances. That's why we don't hear about them.
Author Hhhh Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 Did say I want my ex back just stating a my opinion I have read many stories "breaking NC" and after the thread is posted people post their opinions but you never hear the OP again and we never hear the end of the story The reason people come to these forums is because they have questions or they are having trouble coping and once they get their answers, heal or get their ex back there is no reason to come back
porter218 Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Did say I want my ex back just stating a my opinion I have read many stories "breaking NC" and after the thread is posted people post their opinions but you never hear the OP again and we never hear the end of the story The reason people come to these forums is because they have questions or they are having trouble coping and once they get their answers, heal or get their ex back there is no reason to come back I don't agree. Lots of people come to LS for one reason then after that reason is resolved they stay on and answer others posts. I'v been here off and on for years and even with a whole yr off I still see the same people posting. Once you start venturing into the other topics here you will notice that.
BeatrixKiddo Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 There's a lot of scheming on how to get that second chance, pining for that second chance, pondering if you might get that second chance, but next to nil about what to do when you get that chance. I posted a thread asking this and while I realize the Second Chances section is a little slow, I'm still a little disappointed I haven't gotten more responses so far (although what I did get was helpful).
Capthxc Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 I think a lot of people post around here for perspective on their situation. I know thats why i posted my story. Just to see what others think. I'm not really expecting a miracle answer on how to make my ex jump back into my arms again. I havent been through a rough break up before. Sure, ive broken up with short flings and it meant nothing, but this is the first time ive ever had someone i truly loved leave me behind. One could always use perspective on that kind of situation It's hard to take actual advice on these forums seriously though, because where you have 2 people saying NC is the answer to everything, you have one person telling you to break it and to fight for your ex. I still stand by NC no matter what your situation really is. Whether or not you break should be up to you and how you feel. I've seen too many stories around here and other forums about people who stick to LC or fight for their ex and end up getting burned and even more hurt in the process.
carhill Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 OP, IMO, this forum represents the transient nature of the internet and modern society in general. Minimal investment and little care regarding the outcome. Even with supposedly big endings like divorce and death, it's really underwhelming. The good news is no one can control how you feel and act about second chances. Follow your convictions and conscience. IME, one positive effect of NC is it allows one to *accept* the past and balance the relevant emotions to allow the psyche to process the possibility of the future. IOW, when you break up/divorce, all that history is wiped out for any future chance you might have for a *healthy* relationship. Health is predicated upon who you each are now and how you relate to each other in the future. Allowing the past to affect the future, especially if the past was unhealthy, risks history repeating itself. So, go NC to heal and balance yourself and maximize your opportunities for a new relationship in the future, either with the person you wrote the letter to or with someone else. Success comes in many forms. Good luck
lightning Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 I think the reason you don't hear about second chances is people are scared it might crumble and they'll get 'I told you so' from people on this forum. Some people are ruthless and some people are dreamers. I tend to wear rose coloured glasses and believe in 'the one', true love and dont believe the saying if it's not easy it's not right. I am on the road to a NEW relationship with my ex(not calling it a second chance) because alot of work is being done by both parties to confront and deal with the issues we were both faced with when in the relationship which lead to our breakup. NC is not for me well not in my current situation and I have found we have needed LC to understand how we got to where we are/were and to move forward either alone or together. I think if it's mean't to be NC or LC won't affect the final outcome because what happens is meant to be! Some people might say I'm in denial or delusional but I am alot happier having the lines of communication open than not and I have found this works for me/us through trial and error!
Billie The Puppet Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 More people pining = more pining threads Very few actually get a second chance, take into consideration they do this relationships take time to progress so one may not be eager to post so soon especially due to the negativity around these forums. If the second chance is successful by the time it gets to that stage LS is simply put on the backburner much like many of us dumpees. Those successful second chance posts that do surface get buried by those pining.
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