benkish Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 to go more in depth, me and her talked about marriage and she said it was ok to not have a ring bc we both dont have any money for it, but i told her i wanted to have a ring, but things didnt work out the way i thought it would, so from previous talks about not having a ring, i felt that the whole proposing and wanting to commit my life to her would be enough, but in her own words it was a joke, so it was a mistake on my behalf. And since i have a ring picked out and ready to be made. Right now, she broke it off, even after i was talking to her about specifics and that i was going to come to her so that we can be together(which is what she wanted), but then she said no ring no go.....she decided to no longer talk and in a year if she hasn't found somebody else then we can reanalyze the situation, but she wont consider that if i do start playing well(which i should since i just got a cortizone shot in my hand) and made some cash and have a ring, she still doesnt want it. So as much as i think its bs, if she is meant to be then we can carry forth with our plans to live together and get married....but idk, im just going to have to go on good faith and let gods way be my way. Her being a woman......she tends to get angry real quickly and jump to conclusions, even when im trying to help her, it turns on me. For instance, 3 months ago, her and her mom got into an arguement, she said that she can no longer live with her mom, so we are looking at apartments near the schools where she wants to go, which is what she said she wanted to do, get an apartment close to the school, so im helping, im searching, instead of practicing bc im at a golf tournament, im on the computer looking for apartments, then 2 hours later she turns on me and said i never offered to move up there and that i think only about myself.....does anybody see something wrong here other than me??? So ofcourse she gets mad and hangs up. I'm guilty of things, i am forgetfull(definitely not on purpose, being in recovery i cant take adderall or something), i say i'll do something and sometimes not do it(because something comes up with me and her so my focus goes to her. I love this girl, and we have great chemistry together, we've been through a lot together, we've been faithfull, ive changed my whole life to accomadate her and us and times to talk to each other. And....im helpless really, bc if i could change all of that i would, ive given everything i could, and if i had enough money to support us i would. Its out of my hands now.....guess i'll see how it works out.
Citizen Erased Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Someone that loved you would wait for the ring. She sounds materialistic and selfish to boot. She is doing you a favour. Saying you could revisit your relationship in a year if she hasn't found someone says it all. She doesn't want to marry you because she loves you, she does because she wants to just get married. And her comment of if she's found someone else shows she really doesn't care to who in particular. Focus on your golf career. You will attract plenty of girls, some of which are just as materialistic and selfish but you'll be aware of how they are. You can do so much better than this.
porter218 Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 is doing you a favour. Saying you could revisit your relationship in a year if she hasn't found someone says it all. She doesn't want to marry you because she loves you, she does because she wants to just get married. And her comment of if she's found someone else shows she really doesn't care to who in particular. That is how it struck me. She just wants to join the "Married Club" and doesn't care with whom. I think you should let her have that year off, you may just realize she isn't "the one" in that time. I think after a few years of marriage she will be very hard to live with.
aerogurl87 Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Someone that loved you would wait for the ring. She sounds materialistic and selfish to boot. She is doing you a favour. Saying you could revisit your relationship in a year if she hasn't found someone says it all. She doesn't want to marry you because she loves you, she does because she wants to just get married. And her comment of if she's found someone else shows she really doesn't care to who in particular. Focus on your golf career. You will attract plenty of girls, some of which are just as materialistic and selfish but you'll be aware of how they are. You can do so much better than this. I agree with CE. She doesn't care about you, she just cares about the status of being married and the "if I haven't found someone else in a year we can re-evaluate everything" comment is proof she doesn't love you. You can do better than this girl, alot better.
GorillaTheater Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Right now, she broke it off, even after i was talking to her about specifics and that i was going to come to her so that we can be together(which is what she wanted), but then she said no ring no go.....she decided to no longer talk and in a year if she hasn't found somebody else then we can reanalyze the situation F*ck that, pal. You're NOBODY'S back-up plan. You're worth a hell of alot more than that.
LittleTiger Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 My advice from your part 1 thread still stands......and now she's come out with this 'in a year if she hasn't found somebody else....' rubbish, I would advise you to forget about her and get on with your life. You are nobody's 'just in case' guy. You don't need a woman like this, no man does. She values the ring and the wedding more than she will ever value your relationship. There are far, far better women in the world and one day soon you will find one.
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