Forum Ettiquette?

[jennie-jennie]

As someone who has studied psychology at an advanced level, I recognise the need to not follow one perspective rigidly over another.

 

Oh, I only take the parts I like. It is just that some perspectives contain more parts that I like than others.

 

So what is the best book you can recommend on extramarital relationships?

[herenow]

Definition of "many"...............

 

consisting of or amounting to a large but indefinite number

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/many

 

So when we refer to "many," I think many of us simply a large but not exact number. And I use it meaning a large but indefinite percentage of the people posting here.

 

Just for clarity.

 

IMO, the things that you spoke of using "many", as defined by you, are more like "few". Do you need a definition of few?

[herenow]

It is a well-known fact that there is a risk for BSs especially to get stuck in anger and bitterness in the aftermath of an affair. At times I think posting on LS perpetuates this.

 

And where does that well known fact come from? I have seen many BW and OW come here angry and full of pain only to work out their issues to arise happy again.

 

Some of them have even thanked others with opposing views for their insight. I happen to be one of those people. However, if you feel I'm bitter and angry, well that's your opinion and you are free to feel that way.

[bentnotbroken]

LOL That is not the only place you will find information about this phenomena. It was just the one closest at hand to me.

 

I can't believe that you do not understand there is a risk that BSs get stuck in the bitterness and anger of the aftermath of an affair. I thought that was common knowledge.

 

 

No more stuck than any other maladjusted person with poor coping skills. Bitterness and anger are exclusive to affairs or BS.

[Bionic Me]

So what was the point of this thread again?

 

I wonder why LS doesn't have a "chat" area? Where if a group of the same people want to engage in a convo totally about themselves, they can do so by option of invite.

 

Just saying...

[herenow]

Then again, I did not talk about "rampant bashing" now, did I? Those were your words. I talked about posting style. You can do a lot of hurt in other ways than bashing.

 

I assumed that the posting style you were opposed to was more of a negative style. Makes no sense for you to be hurt by someone who isn't doing something you find hurtful. I would call trying to hurt someone bashing, but that's just me. What do you call it?

 

Personally, if I found posting on this forum to be hurtful, I would stop posting. Again, I guess that's just me.

[bentnotbroken]

No more stuck than any other maladjusted person with poor coping skills. Bitterness and anger are exclusive to affairs or BS.

 

 

This should have read "aren't" exclusive..... sometimes life is a mutha.

[herenow]

This should have read "aren't" exclusive..... sometimes life is a mutha.

 

I got what you meant and I totally agree.

[whichwayisup]

It is a well-known fact that there is a risk for BSs especially to get stuck in anger and bitterness in the aftermath of an affair. At times I think posting on LS perpetuates this.

 

OW all likewise too. Probably goes for the MM or MW as well, depending on how the affair ended and the aftermath. It's a grieving process, the stages people go through. Even more so in affairs.

 

I agree with you 100%, LS sometimes doesn't help and either causes the person more pain, depending on their frame of mind and mood. It could be a BS, MM/MW, or an OW/OM. When a person is hurting, in a bad place, (I hate the word BITTER because when it's used in this forum, it's usually directed at someone particular, or a group of people) they take things the wrong way, words can jump out a certain way.

[anne1707]

Oh, I only take the parts I like. It is just that some perspectives contain more parts that I like than others.

 

Why am I not surprised

 

So what is the best book you can recommend on extramarital relationships?

 

 

Actually my life does not revolve purely around extramarital relationships

[herenow]

LOL That is not the only place you will find information about this phenomena. It was just the one closest at hand to me.

 

I can't believe that you do not understand there is a risk that BSs get stuck in the bitterness and anger of the aftermath of an affair. I thought that was common knowledge.

 

And there is nothing said about the OW who can't let go of their anger after a MM goes back to his wife? How about the fact that some (I will provide a definition of some if needed) OW refuse to accept that a MM would rather be with his wife. They use all sorts of excuses to try and prove the MM would rather be with the OW if only he could. Let's talk about that well known phenomenon.

 

In reality, I think both of these scenarios are not the norm (the bitter BS or the obsessed OW), IMO, most people are able to move on.

Edited October 12, 2010 by herenow

[jthorne]

So what was the point of this thread again?

 

I wonder why LS doesn't have a "chat" area? Where if a group of the same people want to engage in a convo totally about themselves, they can do so by option of invite.

 

Just saying...

FYI, not to tj, but this has been asked before, and is quasi-relevant to topic. I read that there was a chat function a long time ago. It's no longer offered because of pm ability and the easy access of free IM programs.

 

So whatcha got is whatcha got.

[whichwayisup]

FYI, not to tj, but this has been asked before, and is quasi-relevant to topic. I read that there was a chat function a long time ago. It's no longer offered because of pm ability and the easy access of free IM programs.

 

So whatcha got is whatcha got.

 

I thought a while ago there was a chatroom set up, but it was for paying members only, part of the perk of donating $$ to LS.

[desertIslandCactus]

So what was the point of this thread again?

 

...

 

 

I guess the point was in wondering why OW & BS have pro and con (heated) discussions? ..

 

As I've said before... it's impossible for women to have a discussion without elaborating .. it's what we do

 

Between posters reporting oneanother and general moderation, OM/OW forum is cleaned out quite a bit ..

[Bionic Me]

FYI, not to tj, but this has been asked before, and is quasi-relevant to topic. I read that there was a chat function a long time ago. It's no longer offered because of pm ability and the easy access of free IM programs.

 

So whatcha got is whatcha got.

 

 

and I love you dearly .

[jennie-jennie]

Actually my life does not revolve purely around extramarital relationships

 

Should I take that as you not having read even one book on the subject then?

[Bionic Me]

I guess the point was in wondering why OW & BS have pro and con (heated) discussions? ..

 

As I've said before... it's impossible for women to have a discussion without elaborating .. it's what we do

 

Between posters reporting oneanother and general moderation, OM/OW forum is cleaned out quite a bit ..

 

Tell ME about it, but it's like mold... keeps on returning.

 

I guess it is as old as A's have been around. We will never see eye to eye. There is too much bashing and some members are on a high horse and "alert" button happy when they hear things that rings too much truth. Whatever! If that makes them happy. Then again, we cant have the luxury or reporting, deleting, shutting off and insulting those who infact ruin us in RL.

So report and bash away, I guess... LOL!

[desertIslandCactus]

Tell ME about it, but it's like mold... keeps on returning.

 

I guess it is as old as A's have been around. We will never see eye to eye. There is too much bashing and some members are on a high horse and "alert" button happy when they hear things that rings too much truth. Whatever! If that makes them happy. Then again, we cant have the luxury or reporting, deleting, shutting off and insulting those who infact ruin us in RL.

So report and bash away, I guess... LOL!

 

 

I don't like the report (alert), it's obviously used too often .. And it doesn't keep things on an evenness because those who have their finger on the 'alert' will lay and wait to report one poster - but overlook another..

[jennie-jennie]

No more stuck than any other maladjusted person with poor coping skills. Bitterness and anger are exclusive to affairs or BS.

 

I liked this one. :lmao:

[pureinheart]

Tell ME about it, but it's like mold... keeps on returning.

 

I guess it is as old as A's have been around. We will never see eye to eye. There is too much bashing and some members are on a high horse and "alert" button happy when they hear things that rings too much truth. Whatever! If that makes them happy. Then again, we cant have the luxury or reporting, deleting, shutting off and insulting those who infact ruin us in RL.

So report and bash away, I guess... LOL!

 

For being a new member you seem to have quite a knowledge of LS history...one of your posts sounded much like a poster that is always reinventing herself. In answer to your question, it's once again a bash Jennie thread/dog pile/mob/bully....

Edited October 13, 2010 by pureinheart

[Bionic Me]

I never said that I was a new member. Actually, let me go post under my restricted ID.... and let the moderators post it. BWHA!

 

I have no problem with that...

[jthorne]

I thought a while ago there was a chatroom set up, but it was for paying members only, part of the perk of donating $$ to LS.

It broke, and they decided not to fix it for reasons said earlier. At least that's what I read. I must have forgotten about it being for Supporting Members.

 

and I love you dearly .

Aw, shucks. As long as you are not one of my ex's.

Oh, wait, maybe that was a general "you". Whoops, nevermind.

 

Ok, back to OP:

I will say what I've said on similar threads. It's an open forum with Community Guidelines. As long as posts adhere to the CG's, then you're golden.

 

If you are wanting a forum specific to OW, I believe there are some around. If you can stick it out here, there are some awesome people that grace us with their presence.

[on a learning curve]

We are in a forum where all three participants in the love triangle participate, so I think some respect should be shown which would lead you to not flaunt your relationship like that.

 

And you are wrong about why the sex in many affair relationships is the best sex ever. But I don't expect you to understand that.

 

I have only read until here, and I think JJ brings an important point. This is a forum for OM/OW to discuss their relationships. It really isn't fair, or right, to come here with the implicit purpose of disrespecting the feelings of women and men in unsanctioned relationships.

[bentnotbroken]

I have only read until here, and I think JJ brings an important point. This is a forum for OM/OW to discuss their relationships. It really isn't fair, or right, to come here with the implicit purpose of disrespecting the feelings of women and men in unsanctioned relationships.

 

 

So now we are going to talk about what's right? Interesting....yet again.

[on a learning curve]

So now we are going to talk about what's right? Interesting....yet again.

 

I'm sorry. My intention is not to re-hash previous conversations (I am new here, lol). I have a thought process like everyone else, and I am curious about the concepts being presented here.

 

Sorry if I annoyed you.