Forum Ettiquette?

[JamesM]

James

 

Lack of knowledge about computers is not the same as lack of knowledge about affairs.

 

Yes, it is. You either have knowledge about something or you don't.

 

I am either knowledgeable about affairs or I am not.

 

Is that knowledge about affairs a good thing?

 

It can be.

 

 

We are supposed to try to guard ourselves from sin.

 

 

One can have knowledge about something without experiencing it first hand. And knowing the pain of an affair versus the pleasure of an affair can help prevent someone from getting caught up in an affair.

 

Knowing about sin can be a very good way to guard against sin.

 

What is happening in previous posts is that being ignorant abut affairs can happen even if someone is experienced in affairs. I may be in an affair and yet not know what will happen because of my affair.

 

Yet the opposite is true. I can know all of the details of what leads to an affair, the steps of an affair, and the fleeting pleasure of an affair. I can know what happens to those who are victims of an affair. Yet I may know this even if I have never been in an affair.

 

Too many people believe that they will never cheat, and yet they do not realize that most WSs have said the same thing. The key to preventing an affair at the times when they are most desirable is to put boundaries in place to prevent an affair from happening. And having knowledge about affairs is a good way to build preventative measures against letting one happen.

 

As one man said to me years ago, "I am thankful because when I had the desire, there was no opportunity. And when the opportunity was there, I had no desire."

[desertIslandCactus]

We are supposed to speak up for righteousness. OTHERS' lives are affected as well.

 

We are responsible to plant seeds.. Knowledge as to whether the ground is soft or not, should not be a concern.

[donnamaybe]

One can have knowledge about something without experiencing it first hand.

I think that was what I was trying to get across, was it not?

[desertIslandCactus]

Yes, it is. You either have knowledge about something or you don't.

 

I am either knowledgeable about affairs or I am not.

 

Is that knowledge about affairs a good thing?

 

It can be.

 

 

 

 

 

One can have knowledge about something without experiencing it first hand. And knowing the pain of an affair versus the pleasure of an affair can help prevent someone from getting caught up in an affair.

 

Knowing about sin can be a very good way to guard against sin.

 

What is happening in previous posts is that being ignorant abut affairs can happen even if someone is experienced in affairs. I may be in an affair and yet not know what will happen because of my affair.

 

Yet the opposite is true. I can know all of the details of what leads to an affair, the steps of an affair, and the fleeting pleasure of an affair. I can know what happens to those who are victims of an affair. Yet I may know this even if I have never been in an affair.

 

Too many people believe that they will never cheat, and yet they do not realize that most WSs have said the same thing. The key to preventing an affair at the times when they are most desirable is to put boundaries in place to prevent an affair from happening. And having knowledge about affairs is a good way to build preventative measures against letting one happen.

 

As one man said to me years ago, "I am thankful because when I had the desire, there was no opportunity. And when the opportunity was there, I had no desire."

 

James,

 

In my response, I had received from the poster that she was saying she didn't have the ignorance to have an affair.. Perhaps I misunderstood her..

[jennie-jennie]

Everyone has the right to make whatever decisions they so choose. As long as they don't mind the repurcussions of poor choices, then why should anyone else care? And no - no one has to walk a mile in someone else's shoes first.

 

So from now on will you refrain from bringing up my relationship as an example of how you perceive it to be? Since you do understand my experience of it without walking in my shoes.

 

This thread makes me think of a particular situation in which the AP actually makes these kinds of excuses for the MP involved, with the A now years and years and years and years and years old.

 

Why would anyone, in those circumstances, ever feel like they have to do anything? They not only get their cake and eat it too, they get it served up to them on a silver platter!

[donnamaybe]

So from now on will you refrain from bringing up my relationship as an example of how you perceive it to be? Since you do understand my experience of it without walking in my shoes.

Wouldn't that be called "censoring" for you to tell me what I can and cannot discuss?

[jennie-jennie]

Wouldn't that be called "censoring" for you to tell me what I can and cannot discuss?

 

But you just said you did not have to walk a mile in my shoes to understand me. You can't have it both ways. Your posts show a total ignorance of my relationship, of my MM and of me.

[jthorne]

Here is the biggest thing that has hit home with me since joining LS:

 

There is no glory in ill-gotten gains.

[pureinheart]

Everyone has the right to make whatever decisions they so choose. As long as they don't mind the repurcussions of poor choices, then why should anyone else care? And no - no one has to walk a mile in someone else's shoes first.

 

I have been "lurking" (lol) on yours and Jennies conversation:p...pondering in my mind "empathy" (which in fact coinsides with forum ettiquette).

 

I wrote a "letter to the editor" once concerning some strong opposition I felt towards a movie that was about to be released by Universal Studios...I went down there to protest it in person also.

 

Many asked, "did you see the film?", I said, "no, I know the content and that is all I need to know". This was in (I think) 1988....

 

I was right in my assessments according to my beliefs, and want to say I stand on an even greater, firmer foundation concerning that decision...although learned afterwards, through experience, that one can reach even greater depth if they have lived it.

 

Am I saying we should "put" ourselves through something to gain greater understanding and depth? Of course not. Am I saying that anothers opinion is not valuable if they have not lived it? Of course not.

 

I am saying that those that have been in the trenches do infact have a greater understanding of a given event/circumstance.

 

BTW...I still don't want to see that film, it is offensive to me and my belief system and I will not watch a movie by that director...also I choose to not run down others who do watch it...I had my say, did what I needed to do and was done..."technically" nobody is being killed by it literally (just spiritually IMO)...they are making thier own choices (unless they take children to see it, then they are making choices for children, which I don't agree with)...

[jennie-jennie]

Wouldn't that be called "censoring" for you to tell me what I can and cannot discuss?

 

If you want to talk about your perception of affairs, you need a different example, since my relationship is not relevant in the context.

[JamesM]

I think that was what I was trying to get across, was it not?

 

Yeah, but I said it better.

[jennie-jennie]

Here is the biggest thing that has hit home with me since joining LS:

 

There is no glory in ill-gotten gains.

 

(from OneLook Dictionary)

 

Quick definitions (ill-gotten)

adjective: obtained illegally or by improper means

Aah, this is where moral relativism comes to play again.

[jennie-jennie]

I support her right to make her own decisions, of course.

 

But I hope, hope, hope that I can shed a little light that will lead her to a place of more empowered decisions.

 

So do I. That is why I post on LS.

[jennie-jennie]

Smartazz!

 

That sort of pleasure I can do without, though. I need it more often than once a biennium, and MAN can my baby deliver!

 

My MM thought he could do without it too. He thought he was happily married. He knows better now. He has experienced a totally new level of intimacy.

[jennie-jennie]

We're not fighting - we're debating.

 

For once we agree on something.

[donnamaybe]

If you want to talk about your perception of affairs, you need a different example, since my relationship is not relevant in the context.

Your relationship is not an affair? Since when?

[donnamaybe]

For once we agree on something.

Now now, you KNOW it's not the first time!

[donnamaybe]

(from OneLook Dictionary)

 

Quick definitions (ill-gotten)

adjective: obtained illegally or by improper means

 

Aah, this is where moral relativism comes to play again.

Lying is improper in ANYONE'S world.

[TinaniT]

I don't know what you are talking about.

 

What could possibly be considered offensive to OW in the discussions of "affairyland," and OW being from dysfunctional backgrounds necessarily, and that marrying the man you love is stealing or "ill gotten gains" as if she stole the property of another person, or that a woman must be stupid to believe her partner who is most certainly lying about everything including his feelings, that the relationship that is forming is enjoyable only due to the secrecy, the insinuations that a woman is loose or undiscerning to become an OW?

 

Nothing! Nothing, I say!

 

 

Other than a specific poster who was called on it by OW and BS, I have not seen many OW gloating. While I see where perspective could change that, I have been on all sides of the triangle and have an idea of each part of it. There is a line between being happy and gloating. I don't think you perceive the being happy as gloating unless you have issues with your own situation, typically. But there is a line where it crosses over and obviously has the intent to hurt another person. That is never right.

 

 

As to some of what has been referred to as gloating in this thread, some of it seemed to me to be a joke based on how OW are perceived, more of an ironic comment. *shrug*

[pureinheart]

We're not fighting - we're debating.

 

That's why I like debating with you:D

 

SB, that is what a discussion forum is, certainly either party may not agree, they put their info out on the table and it's interesting, challenging actually...

 

Those like Donna and Jennie enjoy the mental stimulation...the challenge.

[jennie-jennie]

Lying is improper in ANYONE'S world.

 

That's why I (almost) never lie.

[pureinheart]

Yes, it is. You either have knowledge about something or you don't.

 

I am either knowledgeable about affairs or I am not.

 

Is that knowledge about affairs a good thing?

 

It can be.

 

 

 

 

 

One can have knowledge about something without experiencing it first hand. And knowing the pain of an affair versus the pleasure of an affair can help prevent someone from getting caught up in an affair.

 

Knowing about sin can be a very good way to guard against sin.

 

What is happening in previous posts is that being ignorant abut affairs can happen even if someone is experienced in affairs. I may be in an affair and yet not know what will happen because of my affair.

 

Yet the opposite is true. I can know all of the details of what leads to an affair, the steps of an affair, and the fleeting pleasure of an affair. I can know what happens to those who are victims of an affair. Yet I may know this even if I have never been in an affair.

 

Too many people believe that they will never cheat, and yet they do not realize that most WSs have said the same thing. The key to preventing an affair at the times when they are most desirable is to put boundaries in place to prevent an affair from happening. And having knowledge about affairs is a good way to build preventative measures against letting one happen.

 

As one man said to me years ago, "I am thankful because when I had the desire, there was no opportunity. And when the opportunity was there, I had no desire."

 

 

In bold...I am one of those ....understanding that we are all human might have helped me, although I thought I was above reproach...first mistake, right there:eek:

[jennie-jennie]

Your relationship is not an affair? Since when?

 

Your perception of extramarital relationships is very one-sided. All EMRs do not fit that description. Mine doesn't. That is why I am asking you to refrain from incorrectly using my relationship as an example.

[donnamaybe]

Your perception of extramarital relationships is very one-sided. All EMRs do not fit that description. Mine doesn't. That is why I am asking you to refrain from incorrectly using my relationship as an example.

When people post on an open forum about their situation, others will become knowledgable of certain things. One example is how long an A has dragged out with no changes in status and excuses being made for the cheating.

 

Anyone is free to use my R with my sweety as an example on this forum when discussing non A relationships because I have spoken about our R on here and would never consider telling anyone they cannot talk about it. If I didn't want anyone bringing up my R, I'd best stay off an internet forum.

[jennie-jennie]

That's why I like debating with you:D

 

SB, that is what a discussion forum is, certainly either party may not agree, they put their info out on the table and it's interesting, challenging actually...

 

Those like Donna and Jennie enjoy the mental stimulation...the challenge.

 

Nobody, and I say nobody, on LS understands me like Pure does!