Forum Ettiquette?

[jennie-jennie]

By "show some humility" I assume that means if an AP disagrees with what we say we should bow down to their superior knowledge.

 

I'm sorry, but it just doesn't work that way. We are all entitled to our opinions, and they tend to vary. And one doesn't have to be in an A to see some things very clearly. Remember that phrase "can't see the forest for the trees?" I firmly believe it applies in A's quite often. Also, we are all adults here. I understand that children don't realize what "hot" means when we tell them not to touch the stove, and sometimes they just have to learn that for themselves the hard way. But most of us have lived long lives and seen much. Just because we haven't been personally entrenched in an A doesn't mean we haven't learned from the examples of others who have.

 

You had a perfectly good example yourself for this once. It went something like this:

 

Just because you haven't swum in the ocean, it doesn't mean you don't know how water feels like.

 

I live next to the ocean. If you haven't swum in the ocean... wow, you have something to experience yet. The ocean is different from day to day. You never know what to expect. It is not like turning on the water in the faucet.

[jennie-jennie]

welcome back party ?

 

I don't know if the rumor is true, but I heard you would be one of the honor guests.

[donnamaybe]

You had a perfectly good example yourself for this once. It went something like this:

 

Just because you haven't swum in the ocean, it doesn't mean you don't know how water feels like.

 

I live next to the ocean. If you haven't swum in the ocean... wow, you have something to experience yet. The ocean is different from day to day. You never know what to expect. It is not like turning on the water in the faucet.

I think by our ages, we've all heard of rip tides and watched news stories.

 

Sorry. Unless one lives in a vacuum, one will understand the ramifications of an A. One also understands that when a MP remains in an A for a looooooooooong time, there is no desire to change the status quo.

[jennie-jennie]

I think by our ages, we've all heard of rip tides and watched news stories.

 

I can't believe that, at our age, you do not realize the difference between hearing and watching about something and actually experiencing it. As I said, I don't even know what to expect from the ocean on a day-to-day basis.

 

The above sentence of yours shows of complete ignorance. Sorry.

Sorry. Unless one lives in a vacuum, one will understand the ramifications of an A. One also understands that when a MP remains in an A for a looooooooooong time, there is no desire to change the status quo.

 

You might be able to have an idea of the ramifications of an affair, but there is so much more to it that you do not have an inkling about, which is very obvious from your posts.

[donnamaybe]

I can't believe that, at our age, you do not realize the difference between hearing and watching about something and actually experiencing it. As I said, I don't even know what to expect from the ocean on a day-to-day basis.

 

The above sentence of yours shows of complete ignorance. Sorry.

 

 

You might be able to have an idea of the ramifications of an affair, but there is so much more to it that you do not have an inkling about, which is very obvious from your posts.

That's because I am not, contrary to what you would like to believe, ignorant.

 

What is it called when someone continues to do the same thing over and over and over again, expecting something to change...?

Edited October 13, 2010 by donnamaybe

[greengoddess]

I can't believe that, at our age, you do not realize the difference between hearing and watching about something and actually experiencing it. As I said, I don't even know what to expect from the ocean on a day-to-day basis.

 

The above sentence of yours shows of complete ignorance. Sorry.

 

 

You might be able to have an idea of the ramifications of an affair, but there is so much more to it that you do not have an inkling about, which is very obvious from your posts.

 

Explain this please. What do you feel is so much MORE? What is it that you think is not understood?

[jennie-jennie]

Explain this please. What do you feel is so much MORE? What is it that you think is not understood?

 

You want me to explain five years experience in one post. Impossible. If you want to know what I know, you'd better become a long term OW.

[xxoo]

Regarding those who have never been in an affair, their input is welcome too. It would be nice however if they showed some humility in realizing that if you have never been in a position you are missing vital information and not likely to know as much about it as those who have personal experience.

 

At the same time, people who've never been in a longterm relationship without infidelity or other abuse could be missing some vital information that would help them achieve that kind of relationship. Those who aspire to be in a longterm, committed, monogamous relationship maybe can learn something from the personal experience and advice of those who have lived it.

[jennie-jennie]

At the same time, people who've never been in a longterm relationship without infidelity or other abuse could be missing some vital information that would help them achieve that kind of relationship. Those who aspire to be in a longterm, committed, monogamous relationship maybe can learn something from the personal experience and advice of those who have lived it.

 

Good for me then that I have experienced both.

[donnamaybe]

The above doesn't make sense. So because you are not ignorant, there is so much more to it that you do not have an inkling about. Huh?

I don't know as much about affairs as some BECAUSE I'm not ignorant.

[donnamaybe]

But as usual you do not get it.

Oh, I get it.

You have your own picture of my relationship which you continue to post in just about every thread you participate in.

Not YOUR "relationship." I have my own picture of ANY A that drags on ad nauseum for years without end. Yours is just one of many.

Does not this obsessiveness by itself show that you do not understand why an OW would stay in a long term EMA?

Obsessiveness? That's funny.

[JamesM]

I don't know as much about affairs as some BECAUSE I'm not ignorant.

 

Sorry....that statement doesn't make sense.

 

"I don't know much about computers because I am not ignorant."

 

Or.....

 

"I don't know much about history because I am not ignorant."

 

Basically, you are saying..."I am ignorant because I am not ignorant."

 

That would make a good signature.

[donnamaybe]

Sorry....that statement doesn't make sense.

 

I'm SMART enough to stay out of a drama-filled situation like that.

 

And I get called "ignorant."

[xxoo]

Good for me then that I have experienced both.

 

If that is the case, then good for you. I can't see how a person who has experienced the kind of relationship I'm talking about could tolerate being denied or thrown under the bus for a moment, though....

 

But regardless, posters often admit having a history of lousy relationships, and lousy examples growing up. When I post here, I may not support the current relationship, but I certainly DO support the woman in the relationship! I want everyone to have the chance to swim in the ocean I know

[jennie-jennie]

I don't know as much about affairs as some BECAUSE I'm not ignorant.

 

Oh, so you think it is ignorant to be in an affair, that is what you are saying?

 

You know there is some truth to that. My MM is from another culture. I was ignorant of his culture's view of marriage and therefore did not realize that it was a risk that our affair would become a long term affair, since this is quite unusual in my own culture. Here, we usually make a choice.

 

So, if I had known what I know now, would I have denied to participate in the affair? Yes and no.

 

Yes if he had been a stranger, no because he was my past sweetheart and therefore already in my heart.

 

I can tell you, with hindsight, I do not regret a day. Being with my MM has been the best time of my life. Yes, it has been that wonderful, and not because I have a lack of experience of good times. LOL

[jennie-jennie]

If that is the case, then good for you. I can't see how a person who has experienced the kind of relationship I'm talking about could tolerate being denied or thrown under the bus for a moment, though....

 

But regardless, posters often admit having a history of lousy relationships, and lousy examples growing up. When I post here, I may not support the current relationship, but I certainly DO support the woman in the relationship! I want everyone to have the chance to swim in the ocean I know

 

And do you support the woman's right to make different decisions than you would have done? Realizing that you have not walked a mile in her shoes?

[jennie-jennie]

I'm SMART enough to stay out of a drama-filled situation like that.

 

And I get called "ignorant."

 

Yeah, 'cause you haven't experienced the pleeaaazzzure! :love::bunny:

[desertIslandCactus]

Sorry....that statement doesn't make sense.

 

"I don't know much about computers because I am not ignorant."

 

Or.....

 

"I don't know much about history because I am not ignorant."

 

Basically, you are saying..."I am ignorant because I am not ignorant."

 

That would make a good signature.

 

 

James

 

Lack of knowledge about computers is not the same as lack of knowledge about affairs. We are supposed to try to guard ourselves from sin.

[donnamaybe]

And do you support the woman's right to make different decisions than you would have done? Realizing that you have not walked a mile in her shoes?

Everyone has the right to make whatever decisions they so choose. As long as they don't mind the repurcussions of poor choices, then why should anyone else care? And no - no one has to walk a mile in someone else's shoes first.

[xxoo]

And do you support the woman's right to make different decisions than you would have done? Realizing that you have not walked a mile in her shoes?

 

I support her right to make her own decisions, of course.

 

But I hope, hope, hope that I can shed a little light that will lead her to a place of more empowered decisions.

[donnamaybe]

Yeah, 'cause you haven't experienced the pleeaaazzzure! :love::bunny:

Smartazz!

 

That sort of pleasure I can do without, though. I need it more often than once a biennium, and MAN can my baby deliver!

[Star_Bright]

I really don't understand all this fighting. OK so donnamaybe you don't think anyone should be in an affair. Jennie-jennie you're okay with being in an affair. Okay good for both of you... can you not just agree to disagree?? What is the big deal, I don't get it. Really.

[donnamaybe]

I really don't understand all this fighting. OK so donnamaybe you don't think anyone should be in an affair. Jennie-jennie you're okay with being in an affair. Okay good for both of you... can you not just agree to disagree?? What is the big deal, I don't get it. Really.

We're not fighting - we're debating.

[Star_Bright]

We're not fighting - we're debating.

 

Ok. But there's no way either of you is going to convince the other... it's kind of like debating religion or politics. Each of you feel strongly in your own viewpoints... which is a good thing!

[donnamaybe]

When I post here, I may not support the current relationship, but I certainly DO support the woman in the relationship! I want everyone to have the chance to swim in the ocean I know

What a great way to put it! Thanks xxoo!