Livid!!!!!

[Clep]

Ok, so my wife n I are 2 months separated. She just filed the paperwork...

 

She left me for another man...and now, this man has a picture of himself, my wife, and MY SON as his facebook profile picture. I've talked to my wife regarding how inappropriate it is to even share affection with this man in the presence of my son...but this is a complete slap in the face, not to mention, potentially harmful to my son.

 

Without going into the specifics, I'll just describe the picture. The three of them are laying in a bed, my son in the middle.

 

WTF do I do?!

 

Have you asked her to speak to the new bf and have it removed? How old is your son and can he see this picture?

 

I agree this is beyond tasteless and very sad for your son.

 

This is not "my" son, but "our" son. It is apparent you are not parenting together at all and also that you are resentful of the situation, and rightly so.

 

I might approach my lawyer about this and have it in the court papers that neither of you can use your son's picture on the internet period.

 

I would also approach my ex with the idea of parenting course for the both of you, separately or together.

[w.e.]

Have you asked her to speak to the new bf and have it removed? How old is your son and can he see this picture?

 

I agree this is beyond tasteless and very sad for your son.

 

This is not "my" son, but "our" son. It is apparent you are not parenting together at all and also that you are resentful of the situation, and rightly so.

 

I might approach my lawyer about this and have it in the court papers that neither of you can use your son's picture on the internet period.

 

I would also approach my ex with the idea of parenting course for the both of you, separately or together.

 

 

I had a talk with my ex yesterday...she seems oblivious to how our son feels in this ordeal. I asked her to remove all pictures of him (i can't see her profile, so who knows if she has done it.) And I asked that the man no longer be around the child. I asked if she had done ANY research pertaining to the effects, she replied "no." So, hopefully she will think about it more...but I doubt it.

 

EDIT: I copied and screenshotted all of the pictures that I had access to. (There was one with the man and my son from not even a MONTH after her and I split.) I don't think it's appropriate at all, but I'm not really sure as to what I can do about it outside of talking to her and trying to file my ideas as conditions in the divorce.

Edited October 13, 2010 by w.e.

[Audieme]

Send a formal complaint to Facebook, explaining: you are the father of the young boy in the picture, he is a minor, and your separation/divorce situation. Be polite, clear, and concise in your complaint. They may not be able to do anything but it's worth a shot.

[Doing it Since '78]

Child support has crossed my mind...how does that work?

 

Our schedule is as such: Weekdays, 8am-5pm...Thursdays he stays the night. Weekends, she gets him as I have to work.

 

He eats 2-3 meals a day at my house.

 

I make less money than she does.

 

I have greater expenses than she does.

 

She left the house, refused counseling, etc etc etc.

 

In most states, child support is based on overnights, period- irregardless of the hours spent elsewhere (amongst other things like daycare expenses, insurance, salary, etc), if you can freak it where you have the same schedule as you do now, but with overnights being in your favor, not only will you not be obligated to break bread, but she would have to pay you-

 

I get CS, from outta her and (i imagine, but maybe not) her BF's pockets, and you can too. See how long the romance lasts when the money get's funny-My daddy always had a saying: "the quickest way to dry up the pu$$y is to dry up the cash"

 

Regarding the pitchure, sorry bro been there, my trifling STBXW even had my youngest calling the schmuck daddy, and not only did she but her 65 year old mother thought it was cute- Nothing you can do or control

 

Just monitor the situation closely, and make sure both her and the clown know, that your on top of the $ hit, and your watching them and their shenanigans, and you will strike when needed, hard and merciless

 

P.S. if you have any specefic CS questions, PM me, I'm not an expert by any means, but I have taught myself the system pretty well in the last year or so-knowledge is power bro

Edited October 14, 2010 by Doing it Since '78

[w.e.]

I have no idea how I could even get primary custody of the child. X_X

 

I definitely feel way over my head in this mess. On top of being completely crushed, there's so much **** that I don't even know about or how to properly prepare for.

[Doing it Since '78]

I have no idea how I could even get primary custody of the child. X_X

 

I definitely feel way over my head in this mess. On top of being completely crushed, there's so much **** that I don't even know about or how to properly prepare for.

 

Listen Bro,

 

Don't worry about labels such as primary this, primary that-Make sure you get Joint legal and pysical custody, period (amongst other things it is lower scale of payment if you are tagged with CS, and it allows you a say in schooling as well as who wacthes who, etc). Usually when you hear someone say 50/50 this is what they are referring to, in some cases they are referring to time spent as well but not always

 

Then maneuver your days so the majority of the month, you have the kids, overnight (Also find out in your state what time overnight begins, here it starts @ 9:00 PM)- Strike now while she is deep in the fog, or else you WILL be sorry later. Phrase the offer to her, before she really lawyers up, and gets nasty with you, or OM begins coaching her on what to do.

 

Don't bank on OM being a complete sucker in love idiot user- More than likely he has practiced low life activities for a much longer time than either you or your wife care to know- and use that knowledge to further your goals. Meaning he only wants the good, not the bad. Use his greed to help kick your STBXW in the arse, which will in turn give her exactly what she say's she want-THE LOW LIFE OM, who btw would like nothing more than to sap out her good qualaties and then calmly return her to you burnt out, and not worth a damn

 

On that note, lay out some goals on what you want accomplished, and begin a master plan that will include throwing her and OM under the bus to facilitate your plan if needed.

 

If she thinks it will allow her to spend more time with her new booboo, and their is no punishment for it, she will do it-use her ignorance of the law, and your knowledge of it (after studying and reading your @ss off to your advantage).

 

this is chess, not chekers bro-

 

Read up on the 48 laws of power/seduction by Robert Greene, and remember you still KNOW your STBXW better than she knows herself, use that to your advantage, and use her guilt/insecurity against her-whether she shows it or not, is irrelevant (You can't judge your inside to her outside) it is still there.

 

You may hate yourself for doing the unthinkable, but you will hate yourself even more for letting her and the prick of an OM get over on you-TRUST THAT-And hell she doesnt give a $ hit neway, so stop worrying about her smutting herself on facebook and go for the jugular

Edited October 14, 2010 by Doing it Since '78

[w.e.]

As far as I know, she doesn't even have a lawyer. She said she spoke with one a couple of months ago, but I know that it was a lie. She's been focused on doing this all on some website. 0_o

 

I do not have a lawyer...I have been trying to find a cheap one as I am really shy on cash.

 

I just want my concerns to be heard, understood, and respected. I really wish she wasn't being so ****ty. I've never done anything, yet she is always looking for fights, acting ridiculously out of character, and putting our son in an incredibly difficult position. It's like another person, entirely. I'm not out to **** her over or drag her through dirt...it's such an ugly process, it makes me sad.

 

I do not know what drives people to act this way. She was so caring, sweet, intelligent, and honest...always. Most everyone that I've spoken to thinks it's drugs, but I hope it's not. At the end of the day, I guess the court will be the one to grant my requests, so I'll have to figure out a way to make that happen. I HOPE it doesn't involve trashing her completely, but I guess I should be prepared to do just that since she has not compromised 1 bit since she left.

[tinktronik]

As far as I know, she doesn't even have a lawyer. She said she spoke with one a couple of months ago, but I know that it was a lie. She's been focused on doing this all on some website. 0_o

 

I do not have a lawyer...I have been trying to find a cheap one as I am really shy on cash.

 

I just want my concerns to be heard, understood, and respected. I really wish she wasn't being so ****ty. I've never done anything, yet she is always looking for fights, acting ridiculously out of character, and putting our son in an incredibly difficult position. It's like another person, entirely. I'm not out to **** her over or drag her through dirt...it's such an ugly process, it makes me sad.

 

I do not know what drives people to act this way. She was so caring, sweet, intelligent, and honest...always. Most everyone that I've spoken to thinks it's drugs, but I hope it's not. At the end of the day, I guess the court will be the one to grant my requests, so I'll have to figure out a way to make that happen. I HOPE it doesn't involve trashing her completely, but I guess I should be prepared to do just that since she has not compromised 1 bit since she left.

 

The money that you spend on an attorney today will quite possibly be the most important money you spend for the next 16 years. I would really consider, if I were you, borrowing money or doing anything just short of stealing money to get yourself a good attorney that will serve your interests in your divorce. I know money is tight, but you really, really need to consider any resources you have as they will be best spent in a lump sum now rather than fighting for years to come with your ex spouse, and trying to get your child's best interest taken care of one court date and one bill at a time.

 

As a parent that did not pony up, because I didn't think I had the money to spend, at the time of my divorce I can strongly advise you that it was a poor decision.

[just_some_guy]

There are father's rights organizations in Texas - you may find some help on the legal side there.

 

Someone I am related to in Texas divorced, he has full time custody of their two children, plus her child from a previous marriage chose to stay with him. (that kid's father is somewhat in the picture).

 

His wife pays just barely enough support to stay out of jail.

[Doing it Since '78]

As far as I know, she doesn't even have a lawyer. She said she spoke with one a couple of months ago, but I know that it was a lie. She's been focused on doing this all on some website. 0_o

 

I do not have a lawyer...I have been trying to find a cheap one as I am really shy on cash.

 

I just want my concerns to be heard, understood, and respected. I really wish she wasn't being so ****ty. I've never done anything, yet she is always looking for fights, acting ridiculously out of character, and putting our son in an incredibly difficult position. It's like another person, entirely. I'm not out to **** her over or drag her through dirt...it's such an ugly process, it makes me sad.

 

I do not know what drives people to act this way. She was so caring, sweet, intelligent, and honest...always. Most everyone that I've spoken to thinks it's drugs, but I hope it's not. At the end of the day, I guess the court will be the one to grant my requests, so I'll have to figure out a way to make that happen. I HOPE it doesn't involve trashing her completely, but I guess I should be prepared to do just that since she has not compromised 1 bit since she left.

 

I understand your pain dude, trust me I do-However you have to understand that she is on drugs-she is addicted to her OM and the feelings that he gives her, plain and simple

You need to make a decision, are you going to go quietly, or are you going to buck up, pull your trousers up, reclaim your balls and take them to the test. This will probably be one of the hardest things that you have ever done in your life, it was for me (and I did a few years in prison when I was younger)

 

She wants to be a whore, have at it, however not on my dime or at my kids expense. Enough being Mr. Nice guy wit her, IT WILL NOT WORK!! She doesnt respect herself, or your kid, what on God's green earth makes you think she respects you?

 

You can't change her from smutting herself out, and you can't control what goes on in her household, however you can change the way you react to her, and the Bull$hit way that she is carrying on around your kid

 

Reach down between your legs, and come back up with a handful of nuts! Reclaim your manhood, lawyer up, and start controlling this ship, you are allowing the inmates to run the asylum! Shake her fantasy world up, by injecting massive doses of reality into it!

 

Do not give in or give up, as rough as it is now, if you don't man the **** up-It will only get worse, show your son what cloth you are cut from- is it William Wallace or Mickey Mouse, do what you got to do, in a war their will be casulaties, just make sure you and your baby boy are not them

[w.e.]

We talked for about 7 hours back and forth via text today. She apologized for the way she's been acting, etc.

 

She asked me if I was sure that I wanted to be a part of my son's life even if it meant paying child support, I said of course. We talked about him going to school, etc.

 

I said that I felt as though she was trying to push me out of his life...she said, absolutely not and that it would not be healthy. We spoke about communication between us...and boundaries regarding any significant others.

 

I kind of lost my tact and tried to delve into her relationship with the OM a bit. I suggested that she has changed for the worse. I also noted that type of person it takes to act in the manner in which he has. Of course, this only put her on the defensive. I made it absolutely clear that I was only concerned in the changes I've noticed in her. This went back and forth, she apologized a few times on the way.

 

Ultimately, the conversation ended when I brought up something I haven't yet - The fact that she sought attention from other men prior to us even being separated and that she had already left me emotionally before we even tried to work it out. I told her that she felt as though she wasn't getting what she needed, but instead of trying to work it out, she looked elsewhere. Followed by the fact that I want what is best for our son and an apology for even bringing up the OM. Then, I thanked her for talking and appreciated the remorse for her actions.

 

No part of the conversation was particularly pleasant, but it felt nice to actually say something and have her respond for once. X_X

 

Anyway, ****...I dun know what's going on. Why she would even apologize after 3 months of being ****ty or if it even means she's becoming aware of her actions. I dunno if anything she is doing will change, but I tend to read to much into stuff like this. It's just crazyperson tingz.

[sartrelazyeye]

Ok, so my wife n I are 2 months separated. She just filed the paperwork...

 

She left me for another man...and now, this man has a picture of himself, my wife, and MY SON as his facebook profile picture. I've talked to my wife regarding how inappropriate it is to even share affection with this man in the presence of my son...but this is a complete slap in the face, not to mention, potentially harmful to my son.

 

Without going into the specifics, I'll just describe the picture. The three of them are laying in a bed, my son in the middle.

 

WTF do I do?!

 

Maybe I'm the only one...but, I don't really see how this is a big deal...........................sure, it's early in the proceedings and it probably hurts like hell...but, why are you freaking out?

[w.e.]

Maybe I'm the only one...but, I don't really see how this is a big deal...........................sure, it's early in the proceedings and it probably hurts like hell...but, why are you freaking out?

 

I just think it's not right to bring another man into an intimate situation with my child after only 2 months of separation. What about the next man? And the next? My son is going to be subjected to having men walk in and out of his life...I don't think that's necessarily the best means to teach a child about relationships between men and women. The problem isn't necessarily the picture, it's the action in the picture and what could be going on outside of the picture. X_X

 

I'm mostly freaking out because it's been 2 months and things only seem to be getting progressively worse. Plus, it hurts like hell and I was in a bit of a shocked state after seeing it.

[sartrelazyeye]

I just think it's not right to bring another man into an intimate situation with my child after only 2 months of separation. What about the next man? And the next? My son is going to be subjected to having men walk in and out of his life...I don't think that's necessarily the best means to teach a child about relationships between men and women. The problem isn't necessarily the picture, it's the action in the picture and what could be going on outside of the picture. X_X

 

I'm mostly freaking out because it's been 2 months and things only seem to be getting progressively worse. Plus, it hurts like hell and I was in a bit of a shocked state after seeing it.

 

i can totally understand that, but it will be someone with which you will have to learn how to cope. also, i don't know what your situation is, but i was raised by divorced parents. they worked together extremely well, and i encourage you to do that. my mother had a lot of problems with my step-father (though he always acted perfectly with me) and other issues. when they fought, my father always came and retrieved me and my mom was OKAY with that. you need to cooperate with your wife (not saying that you're not...you seem to be concerned with the best interest of your son)...more importantly, your wife needs to cooperate with YOU if certain problems arise.

[w.e.]

I certainly agree regarding cooperation. I've been nothing but friendly and cooperative since she split. She seems to expect me to do all of the compromising and whenever I have a concern or request, it typically turns into argument. X_X

[Clep]

I had a talk with my ex yesterday...she seems oblivious to how our son feels in this ordeal. I asked her to remove all pictures of him (i can't see her profile, so who knows if she has done it.) And I asked that the man no longer be around the child. I asked if she had done ANY research pertaining to the effects, she replied "no." So, hopefully she will think about it more...but I doubt it.

 

EDIT: I copied and screenshotted all of the pictures that I had access to. (There was one with the man and my son from not even a MONTH after her and I split.) I don't think it's appropriate at all, but I'm not really sure as to what I can do about it outside of talking to her and trying to file my ideas as conditions in the divorce.

 

I had this same type of issue. I first went through Facebook and they would do nothing. They say that the person who took the picture owns it and has the right to use it how they wish.

 

I then let my ex know I would be obtaining a court order to have our son's pictures not used on the internet. In the process I would also be seeking for there to be no access with our son and the person he had the affair with.

 

I would file these issues as conditions in the divorce. She also needs some education about how to put her child's emotional needs above her own wants. I would be asking for a parenting course to be involved.