w.e. Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Ok, so my wife n I are 2 months separated. She just filed the paperwork... She left me for another man...and now, this man has a picture of himself, my wife, and MY SON as his facebook profile picture. I've talked to my wife regarding how inappropriate it is to even share affection with this man in the presence of my son...but this is a complete slap in the face, not to mention, potentially harmful to my son. Without going into the specifics, I'll just describe the picture. The three of them are laying in a bed, my son in the middle. WTF do I do?!
whichwayisup Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Ok, so my wife n I are 2 months separated. She just filed the paperwork... She left me for another man...and now, this man has a picture of himself, my wife, and MY SON as his facebook profile picture. I've talked to my wife regarding how inappropriate it is to even share affection with this man in the presence of my son...but this is a complete slap in the face, not to mention, potentially harmful to my son. Without going into the specifics, I'll just describe the picture. The three of them are laying in a bed, my son in the middle. WTF do I do?! Show this to your lawyer! ASAP! Your poor son!
Author w.e. Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 I'm in Texas...is there any ground to stand on? How would this effect divorce proceedings?
tinktronik Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 This sucks. But as long as there was nothing inappropriate in the picture (all were clothed, ect.) you had better get used to sharing not only your STBX but also your child with whatever man in her life your STBX choses. State law may frown on her seeing someone before the papers are inked. This is just the stuff of divorce.
Author w.e. Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 I guess I just expect people to act tactfully and responsibly. I'm sad for all involved. It's just such a ****ing mess.
tinktronik Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I guess I just expect people to act tactfully and responsibly. I'm sad for all involved. It's just such a ****ing mess. W.e. if only that were the world we live in. You're not going to like it, but that's the way it is always with divorce. I am a non-custodial parent of 3 and it does suck but you adjust and the kid/kids adjust too. Take a step back and try to stay calm, but by all means pass the pic on to your attorney.
seibert253 Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I guess I just expect people to act tactfully and responsibly. I'm sad for all involved. It's just such a ****ing mess. I'll be blunt, don't take it the wrong way: Why would you expect her to act decent and tasteful? She cheated, lied, and left you for another dude. To me character does seem to be one of her strong assets. You're better off with her. Sucks for your kid, but they adapt and overcome.
willowthewisp Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I guess I just expect people to act tactfully and responsibly. I'm sad for all involved. It's just such a ****ing mess. Too many threads on here to demonstarte that a lot of people don't, sadly. I feel really bad for you, all I can say and I hope this comes across the right way is choose VERY carefully the women you want next time, we aren't all like that, some of us are faithful, honest and loyal - but then my X left me, I guess b***hs do seem to get on in life better.
karnak Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I guess b***hs do seem to get on in life better. Of course they do... bastards and selfish men do as well. If you had no morals whatsoever and had no problems about running people over or using and abusing them you'd climb faster and higher in life. You'd have more sex, get a raise in your job and be able to lend money from people without paying them back (and so on, and so on...). Of course you'd be called a bitch, whore, piece of ****, etc. I'm sure you'd have problems with that. Alas, MANY people do not.
willowthewisp Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Of course they do... bastards and selfish men do as well. If you had no morals whatsoever and had no problems about running people over or using and abusing them you'd climb faster and higher in life. You'd have more sex, get a raise in your job and be able to lend money from people without paying them back (and so on, and so on...). Of course you'd be called a bitch, whore, piece of ****, etc. I'm sure you'd have problems with that. Alas, MANY people do not. I just couldn't do it, I don't like being treated like that so I don't treat others like it. Next time W.e. go find yourself a women with morals and a conscience, i know I will be choosing the next man VERY carefully.
karnak Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Without going into the specifics, I'll just describe the picture. The three of them are laying in a bed, my son in the middle. ! As most everyone here I also think that you must concentrate on yourself and the well-care of your child. Your ex is definitly messed-up. And, as for the photo, let me say that I've been seriously studying body language during these last years. Including particular cases such as photos. Based on what you described I can say that their relationship will go down in flames. It will be quite rough both for your ex as for her new lover (as you'll see later). More the reason for you to stay cool and sane, so that you can support your child down the road. And don't worry... children are quite tough, mentally and emotionally speaking... much more than us adults.
Author w.e. Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 As most everyone here I also think that you must concentrate on yourself and the well-care of your child. Your ex is definitly messed-up. And, as for the photo, let me say that I've been seriously studying body language during these last years. Including particular cases such as photos. Based on what you described I can say that their relationship will go down in flames. It will be quite rough both for your ex as for her new lover (as you'll see later). More the reason for you to stay cool and sane, so that you can support your child down the road. And don't worry... children are quite tough, mentally and emotionally speaking... much more than us adults. I agree with you that the photo speaks volumes. To me, a person isn't motivated to portray themselves in that situation on any positive grounds. It's likely for attention, a trophy or to appear responsible. Who knows why ANYONE would want to blatantly advertise themselves in a relationship with a married woman and her child outside of trying to make themselves feel better in some kind of sick justification. Fact is, well people don't behave like this.
just_some_guy Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Clip it. CC it to your lawyer, put it in a file. If she continues on this road, it is another brick in the unfit parent pile. Sigh. You are in Texas and there's not a lot you can do about it. You'll be paying child support, and they'll be spending it as they see fit.
Author w.e. Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 Child support has crossed my mind...how does that work? Our schedule is as such: Weekdays, 8am-5pm...Thursdays he stays the night. Weekends, she gets him as I have to work. He eats 2-3 meals a day at my house. I make less money than she does. I have greater expenses than she does. She left the house, refused counseling, etc etc etc.
The-Zen-Warrior Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Child support has crossed my mind...how does that work? Well even after enduring a divorce of my own, I had no clue as to what child support was and how it gets worked out. I rather put the responsibility of my child support in the trusting hand of my attorney. I know you gave us all a little snid bit of your schedule with your child, but more than likely you will need to present that schedule to your attorney. I think my attorney said, when discussing what I would have to pay my ex-wife for child support, I think he said something about having some sort of child support calculator on his computer, and that he would run the days and times and meals ect. ect. ect. into the system and see what it says. And as far as finding your ex-wife's Facebook photo, get over it! Just let it go, this just may be your ex-wife acting out, due to not having her head screwed on right. But this type of behavior from her shouldn't surprise you! After all she violated the sanctity of the marriage, she choose to "fool around" and leave you for another man. And now she sucks her very own child into the situation by having the child pose in a photo with her and her new man, it's sickening, but it's just something your going to have to learn to live with. If you don't want to live with this, and you feel your on sure footing to maybe do something about it, than by all means please present this new information to your attorney and see what She/He has to say about it. But don't get your hopes up to much, you might find out that there may be very little to nothing that can be done, they just might look at it as not in very good taste, but no where close to being able to dealt with in a court of law.
just_some_guy Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Child support has crossed my mind...how does that work? Our schedule is as such: Weekdays, 8am-5pm...Thursdays he stays the night. Weekends, she gets him as I have to work. He eats 2-3 meals a day at my house. I make less money than she does. I have greater expenses than she does. She left the house, refused counseling, etc etc etc. You're a man. You're evil. You must pay. Get used to it. You'll hear a lot of it. Hard to say how it will work out, but who ever is custodial parent will get support. It sounds like you have him 61 hours a week and she has him 48 hours a week. By that schedule, I think she should be paying you. But it will depend on the lawyers and how they portray your role as a babysitter or as a caring father. You can count on getting smeared as a terrible man when she gets the idea that she might be paying you.
jnj express Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 You can definitely bring an action for intentional infliction of emotional distress----and possibly alienation of affection------they are civil actions----also see if this guy as a criminal record---dig up some dirt on him and go from there----the 2 law suits tho will scare his pants into a wet stage
Author w.e. Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 I can't imagine going through all of this and then having to pay child support. X_X
BellaBellaBella Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 You can file a countersuit and name the other man for adultery. Would you want her back?
Author w.e. Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 You can file a countersuit and name the other man for adultery. Would you want her back? Would I want her back? Depends. Good people are capable of really ****ty things. I love her unconditionally, but she would have to show a real change from how she's been behaving....there would be a lot of time, work, and effort required. But, I'd definitely be willing. X_X
CM2009 Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Man that sux, I've been through something similar but the Facebook thing would just take me to the edge but to be honest i'll just tell you to stay calm and to talk it over with your lawyers. Don't do anything rash and just sit and wait because karma will strike those 2 in a big way and all you have to do is sit by and watch the flames burn, but also I feel for your son because either way he'll be effected. Your son must be a toodler to be in the bed with them??
porter218 Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 That is really tasteless and immature of her to do. That is the point that you two need to have a parent to parent conversation about how you two are going to go about raising your son. Nobody should be around your child until that relationship is serious...very serious. If he (aside from going behind your back to be with her) is not a bad guy then you should leave it be. It sucks and it's hurtful but at this point you should, for your sons sake, just hope this relationship lasts. It does sound way to soon for you son to be around him but whats done is done.
Author w.e. Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 Man that sux, I've been through something similar but the Facebook thing would just take me to the edge but to be honest i'll just tell you to stay calm and to talk it over with your lawyers. Don't do anything rash and just sit and wait because karma will strike those 2 in a big way and all you have to do is sit by and watch the flames burn, but also I feel for your son because either way he'll be effected. Your son must be a toodler to be in the bed with them?? he's 3...yeah, i know karma will catch up to them. their relationship was doomed before it started. her whole family thinks the guy is a sleaze and thinks that she is acting like a crazyperson... oh well.
CM2009 Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Ooooh no cause right there is the influenced age, your wife should no better. And yes I would be livid as well but stay strong bro people in this fourm are very helpful...
Author w.e. Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 are there any websites i could reference towards the potential damaging effects of her actions?
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