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Ugh, he's too young...

Arabella

By Arabella
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Arabella Established Member

Arabella

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I've recently moved to a new city where I don't really know anyone and I'm attending college for a second degree. As soon as classes began, I made it a point to meet people and make new friends. I'm 26 years old, which makes me a few years older than most of my classmates.

 

Recently, I asked a couple people (one guy, one girl) to come see a movie with me. They both accepted but the girl ended up not showing up, which left me alone with the guy. He is 20 years old. Although it was supposed to be completely platonic, we hit it off very well and halfway through the evening, it started to feel like a date. He clearly seems to like me.

 

To my own amazement, I actually like him too. He does come across as very mature and well-grounded for his age but I can't stop thinking that he's so young. Should I say to hell with it and see where it goes? Or is it just a bad idea all around?

 

Any thoughts?

 

Arabella

TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

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Sounds like a great match and turning down based on age alone seems ridiculous. The only thing I could see being difficult is he isn't of legal drinking age and you can't have alcohol together outside. I don't see any reason you should blow this chance.

 

Women of your age are very attractive to guys in early 20s :love:

Ella whispers Established Member

Ella whispers

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If you like him just have fun. No pressure.

Younger is usually harder IME.

harmfulsweetz Established Member

harmfulsweetz

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Sounds like a great match and turning down based on age alone seems ridiculous. The only thing I could see being difficult is he isn't of legal drinking age and you can't have alcohol together outside. I don't see any reason you should blow this chance.

 

Women of your age are very attractive to guys in early 20s :love:

 

Agreed. Why lose a great connection because of a number? Plus, in a year or less, he'll be legal to drink!

 

I used to think that way, but a lot of posters here helped me move past that preconceived notion. Put it this way, and I'm not intending to bring a double standard into this, but a man could date a 20 year old woman and be 26 and no one would care. Don't let age ruin a good thing. Have fun :)

Citizen Erased Established Member

Citizen Erased

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My fiance is 6 years older than me, I'm glad it didn't let it stop him. :love:

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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He's a baby, but so are you, so I say go for it!

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Arabella Established Member

Arabella

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Thanks everyone :)

 

I was feeling dubious about it before because I asked my best friend for her opinion and she basically thought I was crazy for even considering dating a "baby".

 

I'm glad to see such an overwhelming amount of positive responses here.

 

He's supposed to be coming over to my place sometime soon to watch the prequel to the movie we saw Friday.

 

Now I won't feel bad about it when I kiss him :p

 

Arabella

Cee Established Member

Cee

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Give him a chance. You are both in college so you are similar places in life, except you've had more years of life. You may find that he has had his own unique life struggles and successes that you could learn from.

 

My sister married married a man who is 9 years younger than her. And that is one of the best love matches I have ever seen.

BentSpine Established Member

BentSpine

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Give it a chance. Only compatibility matters. Also, try to resist the temptation to judge him, or anyone else, as "mature". As humans we are highly biased and unscientific in whom we consider mature or not. You see, practically no one consider themself immature. At the same time we are apt to consider our newly discovered soulmate, the very epitome of maturity. In other words: No, it wouldn't mean that you're immature. People are not on the exact same path with the same end station, that's why compatibility doesn't say much about level of maturity.

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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6 years is nothin'. :)

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Arabella Established Member

Arabella

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At the same time we are apt to consider our newly discovered soulmate, the very epitome of maturity. In other words: No, it wouldn't mean that you're immature. People are not on the exact same path with the same end station, that's why compatibility doesn't say much about level of maturity.

 

I understand what you mean and I agree that we are likely to judge a newly discovered potential mate as "mature" when they might just not be. I have made that mistake in the past and paid dearly for it.

 

When I said he seems mature I just meant that he seems to have other interests and aspirations in mind aside from partying and hooking up with girls. He is capable of holding a conversation about topics like politics and religion to a standard that I wouldn't have expected from a 20 year old. He is also very polite and well-mannered, not just with me, but with others around him. At the same time, he is a lot of fun, and we had a great time just goofing around and talking. I guess he just caught me off guard because most other guys that age aren't like that.

 

Either way... I've decided to pursue this and see where it goes. :)

 

Arabella

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Str8noChaser Established Member

Str8noChaser

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Thanks everyone :)

 

I was feeling dubious about it before because I asked my best friend for her opinion and she basically thought I was crazy for even considering dating a "baby".

 

I'm glad to see such an overwhelming amount of positive responses here.

 

He's supposed to be coming over to my place sometime soon to watch the prequel to the movie we saw Friday.

 

Now I won't feel bad about it when I kiss him :p

 

Arabella

 

Make a mental note NOT to share any info about your new relationship, should it get to that point, with THAT friend...lol :laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

Enjoy him and have fun on Friday!

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Arabella Established Member

Arabella

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Make a mental note NOT to share any info about your new relationship, should it get to that point, with THAT friend...lol :laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

It's going to be hard to keep it from her but yeah, no joke... She made fun that I was even going out with a 20 year old as friends, let alone more... :rolleyes:

 

Arabella

Alma Mobley Established Member

Alma Mobley

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Don't worry what your friend thinks. If you felt a connection and you enjoy his company, then go for it. I married a younger man; age doesn't matter if you're compatible.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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6 years is nothin'. :)

 

Depends. There's a BIG difference between 20 and 26 on the one hand, and 26 and 32 on the other. ;)

 

This kid can't even drink yet!

 

But maybe I'm just biased... :love:

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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Depends. There's a BIG difference between 20 and 26 on the one hand, and 26 and 32 on the other. ;)

 

This kid can't even drink yet!

 

But maybe I'm just biased... :love:

 

I definitely agree with you on that one...but then again, I know I'm biased... ;):love:

Surrealist Established Member

Surrealist

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Oh dear I've had my eye on a girl who works at my gym for a while and the only reason why I'm still interested is because she reciprocates. Im not sure she is aware of how old I am. Better not divulge the age difference here I could get crucified. :p

Jannah Established Member

Jannah

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I'd be hesitant to date younger again, but I am biased. :lmao:

 

On that note, if you think there is a connection, are compatible, etc., then go for it!

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Arabella Established Member

Arabella

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Honestly, one of the reasons why I've decided to go for it with this guy is the fact that he would likely not have a ton of immediate expectations from me.

 

I've been casually dating several people (all my age or a couple years older) over the past couple of months and they all were looking for someone they can go on to marry, form a family, etc.

 

I want a relationship and, looking long-term, I want all those things as well... but I'm not going to be ready for that anytime in the near future. This is why I've been letting these guys go. It wasn't fair to them.

 

So, perhaps, a younger man who isn't thinking about those things right now is what I need.

 

We shall see. I'll update you guys on the developments ;)

 

Arabella

Jannah Established Member

Jannah

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Honestly, one of the reasons why I've decided to go for it with this guy is the fact that he would likely not have a ton of immediate expectations from me.

 

I've been casually dating several people (all my age or a couple years older) over the past couple of months and they all were looking for someone they can go on to marry, form a family, etc.

 

I want a relationship and, looking long-term, I want all those things as well... but I'm not going to be ready for that anytime in the near future. This is why I've been letting these guys go. It wasn't fair to them.

 

So, perhaps, a younger man who isn't thinking about those things right now is what I need.

 

We shall see. I'll update you guys on the developments ;)

 

Arabella

 

Good point. Keep us posted! :bunny::)

Sabali Established Member

Sabali

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Honestly, one of the reasons why I've decided to go for it with this guy is the fact that he would likely not have a ton of immediate expectations from me.

 

I've been casually dating several people (all my age or a couple years older) over the past couple of months and they all were looking for someone they can go on to marry, form a family, etc.

 

I want a relationship and, looking long-term, I want all those things as well... but I'm not going to be ready for that anytime in the near future. This is why I've been letting these guys go. It wasn't fair to them.

 

So, perhaps, a younger man who isn't thinking about those things right now is what I need.

 

We shall see. I'll update you guys on the developments ;)

 

Arabella

 

Yeah, go and turn him out, girlfriend! Make him want to marry, and form a family. Teach that youngster a thing or two!

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Arabella Established Member

Arabella

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Yeah, go and turn him out, girlfriend! Make him want to marry, and form a family. Teach that youngster a thing or two!

 

I can't tell if that was sarcasm, but like I said, I'm nowhere near ready for any of that! ;)

 

 

Arabella

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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So, perhaps, a younger man who isn't thinking about those things right now is what I need.

Sounds great. This could be totally hot for both of you. :cool:

 

A friend of mine who's 39 is dating a guy who's 27, and they seem to be doing very well. She seriously hesitated at first because of his age, and even talked to me about it. My advice was to get to know him a little better and see what transpires. She has done so, and it sounds like it's going great for them so far.

  • 4 weeks later...
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Arabella Established Member

Arabella

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Just thought I'd let you guys know...

 

We ended up hanging out almost every day for the past couple of weeks and two days ago we finally confessed the mutual attraction and got together. We're a couple now. Couldn't be happier ;)

 

Thanks everyone who encouraged me to do it :) The age difference seems so meaningless now.

 

Arabella

Cracker Jack Established Member

Cracker Jack

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Glad to hear that. Hope things continue to go well in your new relationship.

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