sophie_s Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 hello, two weeks ago a quite good friend of mine was introduced to some acquaintances of me at a party where i had to go early and she ended up going home with one of the guys (that i have only seen before twice, but always considered quite nice)... a couple of days later he invites her to his house for dinner again, they have a nice evening/night but in the end she tells me that she isnt feeling more than friendship for him and consideres fading away from their contact. Through some coincidence a week later me and him go alone to a festival (although in the end it was his idea to go with me). on the same day that my friend still sent him a textmessage about how he was doing, because she didnt know how to tell him straight that she is not interested and he wrote her a couple of days before where she didnt reply. anyways we were at the festival and got quite drunk and then i realized that he started flirting with me and since i am single, felt flirty and i knew my friend was not interested i surrendered to his advances and we went home together. it was actually very nice he was sweet but already there we couldnt have sex because i thought he was too drunk for an errection, but we cuddled, kissed and talked a lot until he had to go for work in the morning, not sleeping much... it felt good to be with him. i forgot something quite important at his place in the morning so two days later i send him a textmessage asking if he still has it and then he called me back asking what i was up to this night. I told him i would go to a club with a friend and he said he would also go there and thus we would see each other later on anyways. in the end we end up getting home together again and having for what i consider a nice night with long breakfast and talking again until the early afternoon, when i had to leave... it was quite an intense night of intimate talking since i found out that he was not to drunk to have sex the first night, but has been dealing with serious psychologiaclly founded potence problems for quite a long time and is now unable to sleep with women and naturally suffering from it a lot. i have been in this situation before, one of my exboyfriends couldnt have sex with me for the first three months of our relationship and since i so far considered him a nice person and really enjoyed the time we spent together it was not too big of a turn down and i just thought to give it some time and see him again (he asked me if i had time next week to see him). But then my friend calls me telling me that on the same day i met him again, half an hour after talking to me he sent her a message asked what she was up to tonight... i was really shocked because it seemed so intimate that night and i thought he was a nice person... And hitting at two girlfriends at the same time doesnt fit in this picture. I mean i dont have a problem with him first "hooking up" with my good friend and a week later with me, or seeing other girls at the moment (we only met twice and at the time of the message only once), so i naturally dont consider us exclusive, but after spending a night with me and then hitting again on my good friend AND me (where he could really think that we will get to know about that) just seems quite rude and disrespectful and i started questioning my first impression of him being a nice guy, cause then i would say either me or her... so that in combination with that i also would have to deal with his impotency and try to fix it, which as i know can take time and patience from my side, making it not such a casual affair probably, and that at the moment i like him but still am not in love and so not very emotional involved (i just wanted to see where seeing each other will take us), makes me reconsider seeing him again (if he will call). If i decide to go on another date, should i confront him with my worries regarding him asking me and my friend where we would go that night, or should i just let it be, since before we only had one drunken night and all the intimate talks were after that incident. or is it too complicated already and should i just let it be. i dont know. if he doesnt call that makes it easy, but if he does i really dont know how to react. and what if i am just an object of revenge for him, since my friend didnt show that much interest in him, which would be really bad for me... Well i hope i didnt tell the story too confusing, and I would be grateful for any input and thoughts on this, cause at the moment i dont know how to deal with it...
Str8noChaser Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 And hitting at two girlfriends at the same time doesnt fit in this picture. Ok, I am sorry it doesn't fit the ideal of how you want him to be, but it is the reality. Accept it now and save yourself hurt in the future. I mean i dont have a problem with him first "hooking up" with my good friend and a week later with me, or seeing other girls at the moment I think you do have a problem with it. If not now, definitely as more "feelings" get involved, you will. but after spending a night with me and then hitting again on my good friend AND me (where he could really think that we will get to know about that) just seems quite rude and disrespectful Why do you want to date a rude and disrespectful man? should i confront him with my worries regarding him asking me and my friend where we would go that night, or should i just let it be, since before we only had one drunken night and all the intimate talks were after that incident. You can confront him, but he owes you nothing so he can decide you are too much too soon and move on. Also as I was reading and you mentioned him not getting erect the first nite, my first thought wasn't ED but a guy that gets a LOT of sex already. So when I got to the part about after your nice night with long breakfast, then he texted your friend to see what she was up to that night, sounds like a player OP. Sorry.
Author sophie_s Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 Hi Str8noChaser, thanks a lot for your reply... well there is probably really not much room left for interpretation besides him being a player... and one of the worst case although i was really looking for an excuse for that behaviour well, so i guess i will not give him the satisfaction of still being able to see me and wish myself better luck with the next guy, although its really a pity, cause i almost started to like him how I love single life haha...
Str8noChaser Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Hi Str8noChaser, thanks a lot for your reply... well there is probably really not much room left for interpretation besides him being a player... and one of the worst case although i was really looking for an excuse for that behaviour well, so i guess i will not give him the satisfaction of still being able to see me and wish myself better luck with the next guy, although its really a pity, cause i almost started to like him how I love single life haha... You SHOULD love YOUR life single/attached/whatever! And count your blessing you caught yourself from making an excuse for behavior that is sure to hurt your harder the longer you entertain this situation. Be happy you didn't fall that hard so soon!!
daphne Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Uh, no. Not unless I lost every shred of self respect I own.
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