irc333 Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 With all these latest posts about online dating, something I've noticed lately, at one time, I probably took a year long break from online dating, and decided to jump back on again.....I see some of the SAME people on the site...prior to my break, they were still on the same multiple dating sites (they just copied and pasted their write-up for each one) And it's amazing how these people are still on there....of course I guess you could say so have I, too....but maybe it's because those women already didn't reply to my messages....sometimes I give it another shota year later and email them again to see if they changed their criteria or not, lol....who knows...never hurts to try. But, sometimes I see them complaining how they can't find anyone, or even THEY took a break themselves because they were disappointed with the selection of men that had contact them, funny, when I contacted said woman, they never replied, and I don't do the "Hey, honey, your hawt" or some neanderthalic remarks I hear women get...my emails have substance...so go figure. So anyone would think should they just give up OND? Should they just throw in the towel...or perhaps relocate? Or if not, just change their highly overlyselective criteria?
Cee Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 So anyone would think should they just give up OLD? Should they just throw in the towel...or perhaps relocate? Or if not, just change their highly overlyselective criteria? Online dating veteran who is 40 here (OKC mostly, but tried PoF & Match). I expanded my criteria to the point where the dating pool was virtually endless. Age, weight, height, education, income, geographic location doesn't matter at all. I wanted somebody who was reasonably attractive (ie. not repulsive) and was socially adept (more important than looks). And liked me. I did well with criteria #1 & #2, but not #3. I usually got the fade or the rejection 1-4 dates in. There were guys I rejected, but their behavior on the date was bizarre (embarrassing, sexually inappropriate, or acted like on drugs). There was the one who got away b/c I was falling for another guy (who ditched me, natch). I might do better on Match because it's a pay site, but I did 6 months there and had the worst dating experiences ever. A guy tried to con me out of money (long, ugly story). Another guy got so drunk he passed out at the table during dinner. I believe what IRC is saying is true. That I should give up on OLD. And I have. It's been six weeks since I've been on OKC and I don't miss it at all.
Author irc333 Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 True, I have seen a greater variety on Match.com (I guess some don't know about POF and OKC perhaps?) Thing is, the complaints I hear from guys is, that most of these ladies are not PAYING members, so you send an email to them, but they can't reply, because they aren't member.s Online dating veteran who is 40 here (OKC mostly, but tried PoF & Match). I expanded my criteria to the point where the dating pool was virtually endless. Age, weight, height, education, income, geographic location doesn't matter at all. I wanted somebody who was reasonably attractive (ie. not repulsive) and was socially adept (more important than looks). And liked me. I did well with criteria #1 & #2, but not #3. I usually got the fade or the rejection 1-4 dates in. There were guys I rejected, but their behavior on the date was bizarre (embarrassing, sexually inappropriate, or acted like on drugs). There was the one who got away b/c I was falling for another guy (who ditched me, natch). I might do better on Match because it's a pay site, but I did 6 months there and had the worst dating experiences ever. A guy tried to con me out of money (long, ugly story). Another guy got so drunk he passed out at the table during dinner. I believe what IRC is saying is true. That I should give up on OLD. And I have. It's been six weeks since I've been on OKC and I don't miss it at all.
Cee Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I've heard all sorts of things about Match in that they inflate the prospect pool by having non-paying or deleted profiles in the searches. When I first signed up on Match I didn't pay right away so I was one of those dummy profiles. I think they do that to get people like me to pony up. Which I did. I don't remember if Match had a "last online" section. On OKC, it's pretty easy to figure out who is not using the site anymore.
tincanman99 Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I think there are fake members, lots of them. I can say I have noticed the same thing - the same faces on the web site 1 year later. I am looking at women and there is no way that some of these women would be dateless after a year. All are attractive on the surface so I dont buy it. I think they are plants. I have read over and over that on these web sites the men outnumber the women and I think these fake ads are a way to keep the men paying.
Author irc333 Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 Well, there's this woman, likes to show off the cleavage (age 35), I think I mentioned her, has revealing cleavage clothes (nightclub wear) in all her profile pics. Well, I noticed a new *Update* to her profile, and she sounds like she's copping more and more of an attitude. For instance, she said this: I am not on here to get married so YOU do NOT need to ask me 100 questions about what I do, where I been etc does that really matter for a date or to meet a potential new friend? Not sure what he problem here is. Isn't that the general idea (I'm sure she's exaggerating about the 100 questions) but this is a sign she's probably got social issues, and is an all out grinch. If being asked questions to get to know someone is an issue, perhaps you should not even socialize or come out to the general public. That being said, I think online dating has perpetuated people to stay indoors and develop this negative personality.
lovelydemon Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Looks like I'm one of those (non)-daters you are talking about. In a couple of months it will be a year since I started OLD. I've been using 2 sites and I did get some dates, some were nice and developed into short relationships but noone rocked my world so I've never disabled any of my profiles. Now I'm back to school and have no-time even to meet anybody initially, plus it's been only a couple of weeks since my last break up. So I guess I'm just taking a break. I've disabled one of the profiles and am debating of deleting the second one also. (Though I keep thinking that maybe my break from dating is gonna be over soon). I know it's not very fair to keep a profile up when I really have no interest in meeting anybody right now, but I feel that disabling/enabling profile every couple of months is weird. I wish they had a Pause button.
Author irc333 Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 Interesting...I've always wondered why people used going to college as an excuse not to date, when in fact at college that's the BIGGEST opportunity to meet others to date. LOL When i was going to college, I've always find a way to get together with a cute study partner. ;-) Looks like I'm one of those (non)-daters you are talking about. In a couple of months it will be a year since I started OLD. I've been using 2 sites and I did get some dates, some were nice and developed into short relationships but noone rocked my world so I've never disabled any of my profiles. Now I'm back to school and have no-time even to meet anybody initially, plus it's been only a couple of weeks since my last break up. So I guess I'm just taking a break. I've disabled one of the profiles and am debating of deleting the second one also. (Though I keep thinking that maybe my break from dating is gonna be over soon). I know it's not very fair to keep a profile up when I really have no interest in meeting anybody right now, but I feel that disabling/enabling profile every couple of months is weird. I wish they had a Pause button.
tincanman99 Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 I have also noticed the people on these web sites tend to be very bitter about dating and the opposite sex. I experimented very heavily with Yahoo Dating (its gone now) a few years ago and I have some stories to tell. Here is a sample: *Met an attractive woman whose father turned out to be an executive at my employer. First date went well. On the second date over dinner she started venting to me that her last boyfriend dated her for 5 years and than refused to get married. She said and I quote "I am not going through that hell again so you be prepared to commit to me now". I just sat there stunned, I put some money on the table for my bill and walked out. *Met an attractive British woman who worked for British Airlines. She was cute and fit. My exact type. I agree to meet her down at one of the beach restaurants near where I go to the beach. After finding her in the place she was absolutely hammered - drunk as a skunk. She said go have a cocktail and I will come by in a few minutes. A few minutes turned into an hour so I just left. The next day I got a nasty email from her never to contact her again. *Met this cute Italian girl. Took her to dinner at a nice restaurant (last time I ever do this until I am 100% sure). After dinner we went to listen to blues. At the place she starts telling me that all her previous boyfriends have left her for other women than after a year coming begging back to her. I was like um, ok. Than out of the blue she says to me "you are a good looking guy, have a great job so why arent you married". I said I just havent found the right girl and she told me I was and I quote "full of crap". I couldnt believe she said this to me considering I didnt really know her. I took her home and never called her after that. I did about 20 of these over a 3 month period. Lots and lots of issues with these people. I take online dating with a grain of salt because I think it draws people that have emotional problems of some kind.
Author irc333 Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 Yeah, there's this one woman in my area...her profile is a BLOG, and not a personal ad anymore....holy crap the whining and complaining....now if you didn't read any of her stuff....she has a great smile and very attractive looking woman, and in great shape, nice body. The smile would've fooled me, but after reading the novel about not only relatoinship problems, and just her problems at work even. Talk about a turn off and an emotional basket case. Yikes I live in a more rural area, most of the women I see pop up are a lot of heavy set or trailer trash looking women. But once in a while an educated woman, with no baggage or anything would move here from the big city....then realize most people she's seen in these parts are elderly, men HER age that are already married with children, or toothless rednecks. So she goes online...of course, I email her being equally as educated and have just as much as going as she does, to get ignored. I figured if she'd be on a deserted island long enough, she'd date a nerdy guy like myself. LOL (I'm average Joe l ooking, not a hunk by anymeans) But all the h unks are spoken for and married tot heir HS Sweethearts. I have also noticed the people on these web sites tend to be very bitter about dating and the opposite sex. I experimented very heavily with Yahoo Dating (its gone now) a few years ago and I have some stories to tell. Here is a sample: *Met an attractive woman whose father turned out to be an executive at my employer. First date went well. On the second date over dinner she started venting to me that her last boyfriend dated her for 5 years and than refused to get married. She said and I quote "I am not going through that hell again so you be prepared to commit to me now". I just sat there stunned, I put some money on the table for my bill and walked out. *Met an attractive British woman who worked for British Airlines. She was cute and fit. My exact type. I agree to meet her down at one of the beach restaurants near where I go to the beach. After finding her in the place she was absolutely hammered - drunk as a skunk. She said go have a cocktail and I will come by in a few minutes. A few minutes turned into an hour so I just left. The next day I got a nasty email from her never to contact her again. *Met this cute Italian girl. Took her to dinner at a nice restaurant (last time I ever do this until I am 100% sure). After dinner we went to listen to blues. At the place she starts telling me that all her previous boyfriends have left her for other women than after a year coming begging back to her. I was like um, ok. Than out of the blue she says to me "you are a good looking guy, have a great job so why arent you married". I said I just havent found the right girl and she told me I was and I quote "full of crap". I couldnt believe she said this to me considering I didnt really know her. I took her home and never called her after that. I did about 20 of these over a 3 month period. Lots and lots of issues with these people. I take online dating with a grain of salt because I think it draws people that have emotional problems of some kind.
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Well I don't really have much choice. I have next to no chance of meeting women any other way than OLD, because I only go to bars/clubs etc on the rare occasion. OLD is a major test of will and patience, but I can honestly say I've got a lot out of it. Going back to the original post, it's true that there are a lot of women on those sites who seem to be bitter and/or overly picky, but that's their problem. Some of them might realise one day that it's their attitude that is keeping them single. I've met some lovely women via OLD.
Lemontang Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Like many I too take online dating with a grain of salt but I also tend to have a lot of fun. I'm yet to have a really bad date, in fact even the ones I wouldn't rate as GF material or of any real interest after meeting them I'm still more than happy to catch up with on a friends only basis, but I have found some of these girls get a bit annoyed with me when I put them in the friend zone, but that's another topic to post about some other time. I will say I have come across a few however that do tend to have a few emotional issues as tincanman99 puts it, or some sort of disorder (bipolar, depression etc...), now I'm not bias by any means, if anything I'm prolly more tolerant than most since one of my folks works in the field helping people with these issues and more, so have been brought up on seeing these disorders so would think I'm fairly well versed on them when it comes to having some kind of understanding as a bare minimum. Last short term GF was on anti depressants and a girl I'm dating at the moment is in the same boat, both met from online, and I've dated a few others with similar issues in the same way. But I will say I've never experienced the issue outside of the online dating game (bar one girl who was an alcoholic), but then it really is just a numbers game isn't it? lol. So I'm not one to theorise too much on it, but online dating does tend to draw some people (not all) who lack or don't have the confidence to approach people when out at the pub or club and at times because they have some kind of issue that required external attention. Which then leads me to believe why you see them time and time again months/years later still on the online dating sites. But I do stress this is only some people not all. Some people like me just don't have the time to waste at the pub or club due to work commitments so date when I can as I'm normally stuck working long hours and traveling a lot.
Author irc333 Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 You're a man, and women get irritated when YOU put them in the FZ...that's wierd. dont hear that happening much. LOL Like many I too take online dating with a grain of salt but I also tend to have a lot of fun. I'm yet to have a really bad date, in fact even the ones I wouldn't rate as GF material or of any real interest after meeting them I'm still more than happy to catch up with on a friends only basis, but I have found some of these girls get a bit annoyed with me when I put them in the friend zone, but that's another topic to post about some other time. I will say I have come across a few however that do tend to have a few emotional issues as tincanman99 puts it, or some sort of disorder (bipolar, depression etc...), now I'm not bias by any means, if anything I'm prolly more tolerant than most since one of my folks works in the field helping people with these issues and more, so have been brought up on seeing these disorders so would think I'm fairly well versed on them when it comes to having some kind of understanding as a bare minimum. Last short term GF was on anti depressants and a girl I'm dating at the moment is in the same boat, both met from online, and I've dated a few others with similar issues in the same way. But I will say I've never experienced the issue outside of the online dating game (bar one girl who was an alcoholic), but then it really is just a numbers game isn't it? lol. So I'm not one to theorise too much on it, but online dating does tend to draw some people (not all) who lack or don't have the confidence to approach people when out at the pub or club and at times because they have some kind of issue that required external attention. Which then leads me to believe why you see them time and time again months/years later still on the online dating sites. But I do stress this is only some people not all. Some people like me just don't have the time to waste at the pub or club due to work commitments so date when I can as I'm normally stuck working long hours and traveling a lot.
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