sadconfused Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I have been completely blindsided. I was paying my husband's Amex card when I saw 2 charges to a strip club. I confronted him on the charges and he admitted to being there with his brother but promised he was there for only 10 - 20 minutes. The night he was there......I was overseas heading home the following day. We were sending each other lovey texts and I thought things were on the up and up. A month later he confesses to me that it wasn't his brother he went to the strip club with. It was a women he had met a week prior and one of her friends. When they got to the strip club he bought them both a lap dance but swore he did not have one. I believe him as he is a germ-phobic. After the club the one friend dropped the one women and my husband back at his car. He had left the headlights on so the battery was dead. He decided to get a hotel room in the vicinity (as we sometimes do when we dont' feel like driving home). The second women offered to drive him there but there was a police road block and she had been drinking. she asked to stay in his hotel room for the night. He obliged. When they got upstairs and were getting into bed......the same bed! They shared a '5' second kiss. My husband pulled away, and passed out. She has continued to call him and he has asked her to loose his number as he is devoted to me, his wife. We have been together 14 years and have never had a problem. We did hit a bad patch a few months ago but have been working through our issues in marriage counseling. I have since rededicated my life to the Lord and have asked God to take the worries of my marriage from me and then I get this news last night. I am so sad and confused. I can't imagine my life without him but at the same time where do I draw the line. I am young, pretty good looking and have a lot to offer. We have no kids and if there's a time to get out now would be it. Am I being too harsh? Please help.....need advice!!!
guinnessdraft Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I'm not a pyschic so I wouldn't know but you should ask him why he felt the need to lie. Also, why did he let her sleep in the same bed as him? Even if he was just being nice and sharing his room he could've sleep on the couch or the floor even. It's obvious that he was tempted to do something. Whether he actually did or not, who knows. If it's really bothering you, try hiring to PI to follow him.
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I'm sorry but those are some of the most blatant lies I have ever heard.
CollectiveVelvet Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I'm sorry but those are some of the most blatant lies I have ever heard. Absolutely agreed. The blatant lies of a man who thinks his wife will buy anything. OP your H took the night before you got home and had a sexual encounter with a woman and because his AMEX caught him out he came up with one lame excuse ridden story to tell you.
YellowShark Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Number one is he lied about who he went to the stip club with. Number two is women don't usually enjoy or request lapdances from female strippers. Number three is the headlights on most cars built in the past 10 years turn off automatically after a few minutes when you shut the car off. (even when the headlight switch is left in the on position.) Number four Is you don't "share" 5 second kisses with people you are sleeping with at hotels when you are married. (plus who kisses for "5 seconds," what a load of rubbish.) I have a feeling that there is way more to this story than your husband is willing to admit.
JamesM Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I have a feeling that there is way more to this story than your husband is willing to admit. Much as I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt, his story has too many holes in it. He switched from using his brother back to these women because he knew you could call his brother. I the two women who he went to are form work, then by all means he should be happy to supply the names to collaborate his story. And if it is all on the up and up, then they would want to tell the truth to you. My guess is that he may have gone alone and the "two women" are strippers at the club. Whether the rest of the story is true is doubtful. As for what happened at the motel, he could have passed out and missed all of the "fun," but again, that just doesn't ring true. I think a bit more of a discussion with him is in order.
Lishy Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 He is lying and god will not solve this one honey! Get the womans number and ask her yourself for her side of the story
YellowShark Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 He is lying and god will not solve this one honey! Exactly. God is not going to unravel this web of lies no matter how hard you pray. Time to take action and not wait for some guy-in-the-sky to solve your husbands obvious infidelity.
hopesndreams Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I have been completely blindsided. I was paying my husband's Amex card when I saw 2 charges to a strip club. I confronted him on the charges and he admitted to being there with his brother but promised he was there for only 10 - 20 minutes. The night he was there......I was overseas heading home the following day. We were sending each other lovey texts and I thought things were on the up and up. A month later he confesses to me that it wasn't his brother he went to the strip club with. It was a women he had met a week prior and one of her friends. When they got to the strip club he bought them both a lap dance but swore he did not have one. I believe him as he is a germ-phobic. After the club the one friend dropped the one women and my husband back at his car. He had left the headlights on so the battery was dead. He decided to get a hotel room in the vicinity (as we sometimes do when we dont' feel like driving home). The second women offered to drive him there but there was a police road block and she had been drinking. she asked to stay in his hotel room for the night. He obliged. When they got upstairs and were getting into bed......the same bed! They shared a '5' second kiss. My husband pulled away, and passed out. She has continued to call him and he has asked her to loose his number as he is devoted to me, his wife. We have been together 14 years and have never had a problem. We did hit a bad patch a few months ago but have been working through our issues in marriage counseling. I have since rededicated my life to the Lord and have asked God to take the worries of my marriage from me and then I get this news last night. I am so sad and confused. I can't imagine my life without him but at the same time where do I draw the line. I am young, pretty good looking and have a lot to offer. We have no kids and if there's a time to get out now would be it. Am I being too harsh? Please help.....need advice!!! Reading this was jaw dropping! I agree with the others. He has cheated and the woman he cheated with is calling him and it ain't to talk about the weather. Find out the truth if at all possible. If true and he has been playing around, it's God's green light to end the marriage.
BellaBellaBella Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Tell him you made arrangement for him to take a polyograph. Set up the appointment. There will be your answer.
2sure Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 A month later he confesses to me that it wasn't his brother he went to the strip club with. It was a women he had met a week prior and one of her friends. When they got to the strip club he bought them both a lap dance but swore he did not have one. I believe him as he is a germ-phobic. After the club the one friend dropped the one women and my husband back at his car. He had left the headlights on so the battery was dead. He decided to get a hotel room in the vicinity (as we sometimes do when we dont' feel like driving home). The second women offered to drive him there but there was a police road block and she had been drinking. she asked to stay in his hotel room for the night. He obliged. When they got upstairs and were getting into bed......the same bed! They shared a '5' second kiss. My husband pulled away, and passed out. She has continued to call him and he has asked her to loose his number as he is devoted to me, his wife. One of these things could have happened and he simply lied about it. The rest is such a series of "coincidences" it is beyond the realm of possibility. This fabrication is only further backed up by the fact that in this "story" he is the gentleman and the hero to all. I mean, you even have to ask?????
YellowShark Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 One of these things could have happened and he simply lied about it. The rest is such a series of "coincidences" it is beyond the realm of possibility. I agree 100%. Plus he initially lied about who he was at the strip club with. Once pressed on that lie by sadconfused his story changed to "a woman from work and her friend." Married guys don't usually take women from work to strip clubs and then spend the night with them in hotels... where there is smoke, there is fire.
Fight4Me Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 We have been together 14 years and have never had a problem. We did hit a bad patch a few months ago but have been working through our issues in marriage counseling. I have since rededicated my life to the Lord and have asked God to take the worries of my marriage from me and then I get this news last night. I am so sad and confused. I can't imagine my life without him but at the same time where do I draw the line. I am young, pretty good looking and have a lot to offer. We have no kids and if there's a time to get out now would be it. Am I being too harsh? Please help.....need advice!!! As to the part in bold, sometimes the answers to our prayers come about first in painful ways. In your case, it could be in the form of revelation and truth, because no marriage can truly prosper with lies and deceit. I can tell you that he most certainly cheated on you, and I believe you know in your gut that it is true. This should be brought up in your MC session. You don't have to make a decision right away about what to do with the information you have (i.e. D or R), but I would operate under the assumption that he had unprotected sex with someone else. Go get yourself tested for STD's, and continue to do so every three months for a while since they can show up later. I'm really really sorry, Hon. I will be praying that the Lord provide His perfect wisdom and peace in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Jambalaya Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Wow. Yeah. He's definitely cheated. Sorry sweetie.
porter218 Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 ugh..I remember getting almost the very same lie:sick:. He most likely took a stripper or two back from the club to a hotel and cheated. I hope you can get the truth from him a better way then I got mine. I had to find out from the Dr. at my 6 week post-partum check-up that he had given me chlamydia. That is when the whole nonsense story fell apart. Go get tested sadconfused!
Recommended Posts