SadGirl23 Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 (edited) I tried so hard to stand so strong for 2.5 mths since the breakup of 5 years. Tonight, I am having a hard time trying to go to sleep. I cannot stop thinking about how he hurt me so badly. How it feels like he just doesn't care. I went NC and broke it a few days ago because he was begging me to go to church with him (which I refused to be there for him when he hurt me) and wondered if I miss him? I don't understand why he wants to know if I "think of him/care for him/or miss him" but yet isn't acting like he wants a relationship? Also he wanted to let me know that he is not dating anyone!?! (I find it very rude that he tells me that like if he is reminding me that I am not the one for him, but yet he is not dating anyone else). It's like when he hears the answer he wants or if I don't bother to respond, its then he disappears like if he is "checking up on me". Just pisses me off that he thinks he can just act this way, come back into my life, then act like he can be so uninterested in anyone's day or feelings but his. I found myself moving on pretty quick the past few weeks, but unlike today, I crashed and burned. I just feel miserable right now. I feel like crying for the first time in 3 weeks! I cannot stand this pain anymore!! Edited October 11, 2010 by SadGirl23
Faded Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I wish I could tell you something that would make it completely better, but alas. It's not that easy! What I can tell you is that you're not alone. I know what you're going through. I'm living what you're going through. In my experience, it's better to cry it out if you feel that way. With that! You reminded me of this. When you feel all alone And a loyal friend is hard to find You're caught in a one way street With the monsters in your head When hopes and dreams are far away and You feel like you can't face they day Let me be the one you call If you jump I'll break your fall Lift you up and fly away with you into the night If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart If you need to crash then crash and burn You're not alone http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uB4lT5CblA
Author SadGirl23 Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 (edited) WOW, I just realize I wrote something wrong in my first post. We were together for 5 years. but been broken up for 2.5 months now BTW, thank you for your encouragement! and I love that song. Reminds me of the good ol days! Edited October 11, 2010 by SadGirl23
jeff2321 Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I want to re-iterate that you are not alone. I too am still experiencing extreme pain from my break up and I've been in NC for at least 5 weeks now (I'm starting to lose count of the days ). Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and how she was my everything. I recently had a chance to get intimate with a new girl I met and it was too soon!!!! I kept thinking about my ex the entire time and I had to stop and leave her house! It seems there is nothing but time that will heal deep wounds from a broken heart. Just know that we are with you and we understand what you are going through. I'm living it right now. Also my relationship with my ex was 3 years. Keep posting and let us know how you are coping. Jeff
cb9343 Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 i too experience the same break-up.. we were together for 1.5 and it s the third time he has run out of my life... he will text me once a week to check ib almost. he leaves for bootcamp in less than a month.. i went out on sat and it was a HUGE mistake there was a guy hitting on me and i felt so guilty like i was doing something wrong... My heart is just not ready for that... i am 32 and never thought i would be a single mom.. i wish i could get him out of my head.. i think time will heal but its hard he is the first guy i really loved and i grew so much with this relationhsip and learned alot about myself... i am here with you just wish i could take a wand and make me not think of him so much.. my son and keeping busy helps... stay strong and keep busy..
jeff2321 Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I think in some ways having kids would help me get through my breakup easier somehow ( though logically I guess it would be more difficult because you couldn't exactly do NC ). Kids are fun and innocent and spending time with them tends to take away the feelings of pain of someone you loved leaving your life. That is what I'm missing. I'm slowly developing my circle of friends again, but it's not easy and it takes effort ( as with anything else ). Jeff
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