I know its not going to work, so why do I keep trying?

[Tantrumtigeress]

So I have been talking to a guy for about 6 months now. We talk everyday through texts and calls and even play xbox together. He is 18 and I am 22 and we were just friends at first and then started talking about relationships and such and I dont remember all the details but it all came together, and I fell in love and he said he loved me too. Anyways we discussed about what to do about other relationships and I had told him that it was fine if he dated other girls and experienced things because hes 18 and I could do the same. He didnt want to do that and said hed experienced what he wanted and only wanted me so thats what we have went with all summer long. I kept my end of the bargin and then last month he told me that he had started talking to this girl and I said okay whats that mean and he said he wanted to just experience things with her and nothing was going to happen since he was moving this month october all the way from alaska to texas.

Anyways they did things and I was fine with it. We decided that we could start seeing other people but not dating them just having fun and whatever and promised to tell each other if anything were to change about our feelings. We still talked and he still was sweet as ever but he started hanging out with her everyday everyday and i asked him about it and he said hed fallen in love with her and was soo very sorry. I was upset yes but I told him that we could work it out since he was leaving there and he said that thats what he wanted. Today he tells me that he wants to be friends, very good friends because he cant imagine life without me, and still loves me, but loves her..? He asked me what to do, I said take me outta the equation because I was just so upset and now I said I changed my mind I want to see what could happen and he said that since I said that that he chooses her and wants to make it work with her. But he also told me he was doing me a favor and was looking out for me, because he loved me so much more and I deserved better, Im just confused do I just give up and say..uh goodbye or what ? Is he just saying this as a cop out? All my friends say im dumb for even trying but he really was like my best friend I mean it was like we were together but just not physically.

[lizzibeth]

I'm sorry that this is happening for you. I think sometimes it's in our nature (especially as women) to cling onto things even when we know they can't be saved.

 

The only thing I think he's really guilty of is being 18.

 

I hope that things work out how you want them to tho.

[Tantrumtigeress]

I think that is very true that we hold unto things that cant be saved.. why is that its crazy I know it really is never going to work in the scheme of things but I love the idea of it... im not ready to say goodbye tho im going to see how he acts I am glad he told me because he could of easily just not although I would have guessed because I tended to "feel" or something when he wasnt being truely honest with me or himself He always comments to me that I know things before he even does..

[HeavenOrHell]

Tbh I think open relationships rarely work, one or both will end up hurt and or jealous.

Stay friends with him if you can, but let him go as a bf, don't torture yourself like I've done in the past, clinging onto someone emotionally who doesn't want me as their partner anymore even though we still loved each other as friends and still do.

Might do you good to have no contact with him for a while, so you can move on and hopefully be friends later on. Good luck