FaithInTheDark Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I dont want to be bitter, but basically every guy ive been with has played me,didnt care or just went for some other girl. I have learned to keep my gaurd up and prevent myself from getting hurt again. I wonder if its me at times, but i just try to be myself. At this point im just ready to call it quits and be single. any thoughts on how i can be positive towards dating guys but prevent myself from being played by them too?
alclarkey Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I dont want to be bitter, but basically every guy ive been with has played me,didnt care or just went for some other girl. I have learned to keep my gaurd up and prevent myself from getting hurt again. I wonder if its me at times, but i just try to be myself. At this point im just ready to call it quits and be single. any thoughts on how i can be positive towards dating guys but prevent myself from being played by them too? Don't date players.
Krisha Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I think you should analyze the type of guys you have previously been in relationships with. Do you see any patterns? Do you feel like you only go for a certain type of guy? Try to see what they all seem to have in common since the end results seem similar every time. After you know this information, try not to go for guys like this. Once you see any of the 'bad' characteristics in a future guy, RUN and do not look back. It might also help to write a list of things you would want in a partner. This does not mean that you should hold every guy you meet at those standards but you will get a clearer picture of what you want and what you do not want. I'm just curious...In what ways do you keep your guard up?
True Love Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Yeah you can't go into the relationship with expectations that your going to get hurt, but at the same time you don't want to seem like a brick wall and hard to break through. it's a though one!
harmfulsweetz Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I think you should analyze the type of guys you have previously been in relationships with. Do you see any patterns? Do you feel like you only go for a certain type of guy? Try to see what they all seem to have in common since the end results seem similar every time. After you know this information, try not to go for guys like this. Once you see any of the 'bad' characteristics in a future guy, RUN and do not look back. It might also help to write a list of things you would want in a partner. This does not mean that you should hold every guy you meet at those standards but you will get a clearer picture of what you want and what you do not want. I'm just curious...In what ways do you keep your guard up? I agree. More than likely, you're people-picker is off. I'm the same way. I have a tendency to pick the bad boy, the player, and until the day they stop attracting me, I'm bound to get hurt. You need to figure out WHY these type of men attract you, why are you picking them? Maybe go for the opposite of these men?
alclarkey Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 (edited) I agree. More than likely, you're people-picker is off. I'm the same way. I have a tendency to pick the bad boy, the player, and until the day they stop attracting me, I'm bound to get hurt. You need to figure out WHY these type of men attract you, why are you picking them? Maybe go for the opposite of these men? I'm not sure that would work. You're attracted to what you're attracted to. Just remember, most guys are attracted to girls with big boobs, small waists, and lots of money they are willing to spend on us, but we're also realists in that we know we are unlikely to get a girl like that, so we aim a little lower. Those average girls that we guys pick make us very happy. Go for an average guy, you might find yourself pleasantly surprised. Edited October 11, 2010 by alclarkey
Author FaithInTheDark Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 thanks everyone. ill try to take ur advice into consideration. maybe i do choose the wrong type of guys for myself, but i dont just stick to one type of male. i think maybe i just play the love game wrong. im pretty clueless as u can tell. maybe ill try to go for the opposite type of guy next time. but when u tell me not to date players, its like i know theyre one, they put off a nice guy image then seem to loose interest and throw me away. What i mean about putting my gaurd up is knowing they prob just want sex, i try not to sleep with the person on the 1st date. I try not to be nieve about love, i make sure im not to available for the guy, i dont cling onto them, ive learned from getting hurt before, i just have my gaurd up with men until i can trust them..but it never leads to trust. just disapointment..
sarahkm Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 don't sleep with them. period. then you'll never feel used. i experimented on myself with this theory and it holds true. i wish i can say i'm not speaking from experience(s)...........
Titania22 Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Hey, I spent the last few years working on improving myself. Not with regard to dating, and I don't mean my external appearance. I mean things like self confidence, self worth and exploring ideas. What I have noticed, is that I attract a completely different quality of man now. It has nothing to do with his appearance, age or job. It is that I became a better quality of person (worthy of being well treated), and the men I meet now, treat people well. I haven't returned to dating, but I am really close, and already am getting asked out again. I have no doubt, when I meet a man I want to date, he will be a high quality man. So the advice is, forget dating for now, and work of self improvement. Look at your patterns of behaviour, beliefs, desires and expectations. Get completely comfortable and happy with who you are and have lots of fun too.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 thanks everyone. ill try to take ur advice into consideration. maybe i do choose the wrong type of guys for myself, but i dont just stick to one type of male. i think maybe i just play the love game wrong. im pretty clueless as u can tell. maybe ill try to go for the opposite type of guy next time. but when u tell me not to date players, its like i know theyre one, they put off a nice guy image then seem to loose interest and throw me away. What i mean about putting my gaurd up is knowing they prob just want sex, i try not to sleep with the person on the 1st date. I try not to be nieve about love, i make sure im not to available for the guy, i dont cling onto them, ive learned from getting hurt before, i just have my gaurd up with men until i can trust them..but it never leads to trust. just disapointment.. Trying not to is not the same as you absolutely won't. Make sure you have all your boundaries drawn rather than just skimming the lines on what you think is right. If you really have a hard time with trusting people you should learn to pay attention to their actions. Consistency is always key to figuring someone out.
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