My pscho ex is stil messing with me.

[zero_pistons]

I'm now 25 years old, my ex is 24. We were together for 3 years.

We work in the same factory, on the same shift (she got a job there a year into our relationship). So it's bad enough that I still have to see her every day.

 

For the first year of our relationship, things went pretty well. Except for one strange thing; from the first time we slept together, she NEVER left. I met her through my friend/room mate at the time, and she stayed almost EVERY night from the first time we hooked up. She had a boyfriend at the time, who she broke up with the morning after we slept together. I know, I know. Red flags.

 

But we generally had a good time together; going out, having fun, and being young. She told me she loved me and that I was the best thing that ever happened to her.

 

About a year in we started fighting. Most of the time I would have no idea why we were fighting until the situation had escalated to a shouting match. She would be constantly going through my cell phone, looking for a reason to get pissed off at me, it seemed. Several times, old friends who happened to be girls would send me a text message asking how I was doing or whatever. I never had relationships with these girls, or had ever intended to. They were simply in my various circles of friends from various parts of my life. One time an old friend (who is happily married with a kid) messages me, and by the time I figured out why we were fighting, she shoved me into the refrigerator in front of my landlord, knocking all the crap off the top of it.

 

After one of our fights shortly thereafter, she said it was over and peeled off in her car. We made up two days later and things were good for a few months, when during another fight she told me that she had slept with some guy from her work that night she drove off (she no longer worked there, I ended up getting her a job at my work 3 weeks prior when she got laid off so we could afford a bigger place.) I stayed with her, and I shouldn't have. Things got worse, although I'm pretty sure she never cheated on me again (she said it wasn't cheating because we were broken up, but i consider the three month period when we were together and she kept that from me cheating). She was jealous of everyone I spent time with other than her. I stopped hanging around with almost ALL of my friends. I alienated people from my life who had always been there for me in the interest of keeping her happy. In the interest of her jealousy, I have learned.

 

And the fights got worse and worse. She threw a claw hammer at me that would have definitely landed me in a hospital if I hadn't have ducked. She tried to smash the windows of my car with a metal pipe that I had to wrestle away from her. She smashed my dresser to bits and put 2 holes in the bedroom wall because I was spending too much time in the garage that night. She slapped me in the face so hard that my lip bled. She just let go of the wheel of her car one day, said "I don't care if I live or die" and let it drift off the highway towards a tree until I grabbed the wheel and steered us back onto the road (we were doing 90!), she told me she wanted to kill herself several times.

 

Between all this, things were calm, but I always felt like I was walking on eggshells; like one wrong move and she would explode.

 

Towards the end of our relationship, I finally talked her into seeing a doctor about her up-and-down mental state. I went in with her and sat with her as she cried and carried on about how crappy she feels about everything. I held her hand and was supportive an honest with everything the doctor asked me. So was she. He ended up diagnosing her with depression and giving her 100mg a day of Zoloft and telling her to get counseling. (which she never did until AFTER I broke up with her).

 

About 2 months ago, I decided to break up with her. I just couldn't handle the craziness and feeling like I can't go and do what I want all the time. I was getting more and more miserable with her (I know being together 24/7 might have had a lot to do with that) and I finally decided that was no way to live. But it wasn't that simple, we lived together for three years and were sharing a lease on a $1200 plus utilities farmhouse heated by oil. But every day, I felt more and more like I had to do it. She knew something was up anyways, we got pretty distant those last few weeks.

 

So one day I was off and she was working, I decided to tell her when she got home. Of course she flipped and threw a tantrum. I did everything I could to make it easy for her. I let her use my car until I could get her car on the road (borrowed a friend's car to go to and from work), I asked only to keep the microwave, washer and dryer, and fridge.

 

As I am now single and can talk to girls now with out fear of repercussion (or so i though), and this really hot best ass I've seen in a long time girl just started at my work as a temp (I know, stop with the company ink, but what a body; makes me want to cry when she wears those pants...) I started talking to this girl. We went out to the bar with some friends and ended up hanging out with her all night. Then my ex found out about me and her (nothing really happened, we didn't even kiss, but I did touch her bum, I just couldn't help myself.) and the next day they are best friends. Totally inseparable. Facebook profile pics of my ex kissing this chick on the cheek the next freakin day.

 

So I backed the hell off, romance and work don't mix anyway. I just really wanted to see this girl naked...Haven't talked to her since the cockblocking ex swooped in to mess with my life.

 

How the hell do I deal with this? She's spreading all this crap about me all over work, dressing up like a freakin club date to come and work on an assembly line. Telling everyone how great her life is without me and how miserable I must be without her (I'm not at all, and the way she is acting now is just reinforcing my decision). She has financially screwed me too. She left the day I told her I was ending it without giving me a penny for anything. She owes me over a thousand dollars just in utilities. Another 500 for the new cellphone she just charged to my account before I canceled her number. I have $90 to my name right now, and in the next 20 days another $2300 in bills are coming. I can pay them, but its more than half of what I make. So obviously I can't be out partying every night when I have responsibilities to take care of. It pisses me off that she's out partying every night instead of taking care of her financial responsibilities, but at this point I'd be happy with just not seeing or hearing about her ever again.

 

Yet every Monday I have to look forward to people at work talking about her night on the town or whatever; she feels the need to LOUDLY TELL EVERYONE THROUGH HER FAKE EFFING SMILE. It's like she's trying so hard to prove to everyone that she is happier than me for some estrogen-related reason I'll never understand. I just want to MOVE ON and she's making it impossible. I can't just quit my job; I have a good job (robotics technician) that I enjoy and I make really good money and have really good benefits. But I don't want to have to be in the same building with her every day for 8 hours. That vindictive manipulative cockblocking move with the ass chick really pissed me off.

 

So how the hell do I start rebuilding my circle of friends and get back out there to try and meet a less-psycho lady? I was just out of college when we hooked up; now I'm 25. Things have changed....and I miss my friends.

[Tantrumtigeress]

Wow that sounds absoutely terrible. What is her problem I feel like just kicking her butt for being such a terrible human being. At first it sounded like my story with my ex, he was crazy but when we broke up I luckily only had like 3 months left for a lease. How long has it been now that you broke up? The thing is I bet people see her for who she truely is even if they dont say anything. Ive had friends of my ex say to me that what he said they knew wasnt true because they knew me... I mean I dont really know what to say she obviously isnt over you if shes acting like a total nut job. Is there anyway to get like a no contact order? Thats what I ended up doing.

[Tantrumtigeress]

It does really suck if you have to quit your job or anything but sometimes its just what someone has to do.. or stick with it and bear it. If anything shes making herself look kinda bad going out on the town and telling everyone about it. I used to think that was cool and then I learned that well no one really cares.. and guys well it seems to me arent really all that interested in hearing about a girl partying it up... they like challenges well some of them

[zero_pistons]

been broken up for almost two months now. I don't think all this passive-aggressive stuff she's pulling is going to be grounds for a restraining order or no contact order or whatever. And I also can't quit; I have 10 months left on this lease and I love living here, just need to find a room mate now i guess. And I love my job too; I can't just go somewhere else and get paid $23 an hour. I made so many mistakes in this relationship; getting her a job, getting her a cellphone, getting her car insurance, giving her a car....I was just trying to be good to her, do the right thing and make her happy.

 

 

Look where it got me.....never again.

[Sheppy99]

wow, I felt like I was reading a story about my past dude. It seriously feels like you are explaining my ex of 3 years to a "T". I am 28 now and I went through immense crap with my ex when I was 21-24/25. My ex used to hit me, break **** of mine, attack me in bars, attack girls I was seeing by chasing them down with her car and scaring them half to death. She also went to see a doctor about her issues and her family has a long history through the women of depression. She got help with her anger issues but stopped going when I gave her another chance. The whole vindictive personality comes with the territory of being a depressed, mega insecure woman.

 

So basically my relationship with her ended for good one night when we met at tim hortons to exchange "things". I picked a public spot thinking less crap could happen at a public spot (boy was I wrong). We exchanged things and I was like thanks cya. ANd she started flipping out "You're not even going to talk to me?" and I was like nope. Started to drive away and I felt something bounce off the back of my car, she whipped something at me, dunno what. So I left the parking lot and she basically ended up chasing after me in her car and running me off the road. I went off a telephone pole and ended up in some garage. Next day I sent her an email saying you ever contact me again I'll have a restraining order against you to which she replied she wished my car had of burst into flames and killed me. (still saved that email btw) lol.

 

Now, here's the advice of what I did to move on. It's not as important what you do to move on from her but as what you do to help her move on from you. What I mean by that is you have to keep your personal life 110 percent separated from her at all costs so she has nothing to fly off the handle over cause that will just delay her healing process. So that means no putting your life on your facebook for a while. No putting up pictures of new girls hanging off of you and kissing on you and NO dating girls from your work. That's just too easy for her to find out about. You may say "oh i can block my ex from facebook" But come on man, psycho chicks are very resourceful and they will find ways to peep into your life if you even crack the door a little.

 

Long story short, you unfortunately let a psycho girl into your life so you need to be smart about the things you do until she lets go of you. If you don't want to take on that responsibility, prepare for bull**** for the foreseeable future.

[tornandmarried]

been there done that...but she ended up being pregnant after we broke up...and its been endless baby momma drama since...so be thankfull theres no baby in the picture at least.....definatly go no contact all the way, good advise above about not letting her see u with other girls or anything, shes acting crazy cuz shes hurting and missing you...and being the abusive woman she is shell make u pay for it by any means nessecary.....if things dont cool down after no contact dont be affraid to take legal action

[zero_pistons]

thanks everyone who responded; I'm sure I'll get through it. Other than the stress my new financial situation is causing me, I haven't been this happy in a long time.