Oxo Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I'm really confused. My partner and I just do not seem to get along. I think things are going okay, and then it comes out that he isn't happy because he doesn't feel like I ever listen to him, or consider him, or understand him. Now, I don't understand how he can think that way and this is the problem. So I keep listening to what he says, and trying to be more of those things, and it never works. Its never right. Then he says he just wants me to be myself. And I think "Well, hang on - thats not what you've been saying!" and then we argue. For so long I have been trying to be this person that he wants me to be, whereas he thinks I don't even try and just disregard his feelings. We fought about it on the weekend, and then last night he seemed happy because I had shown that I was being myself and being caring (and I WAS relaxed and just being myself because HE was happy and not picking at me). Then today on the phone, he started on about all the fighting, and how long it takes to get to these good places, and again with not feeling understood etc. When I made the point of reminding him how good things were last night he said it basically didn't matter because he was still angry. I always thought it was stuff I could do differently etc. but now I'm starting to wonder if its to do with me at all. I'm starting to wonder if it is him and he just can't be happy with me. And if thats the case, I have to walk away which I really don't want to do...but I can't keep living like this. And I love him too much to try and keep him in a relationship where his needs are obviously not being met. Does anyone have any thoughts? I am so confused, and so hurt right now
L3stat Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 i was in a situation like this with my previous ex, and she tried all the things you tried and then some, but i was never happy because i wanted out the realtionship and i wasnt man enough to come out and tell her so i wanted her to make the decision for me so i wouldnt feel guilty. Now i dont know if thats the case with you but if your happy and he is not happy maybe you guys should take a break from each other or at least give him his space. i am sorry that you are going through this and sorry to sound blunt but hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Good luck!
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Does anyone have any thoughts? I am so confused, and so hurt right now I don't think this is your fault at all. There is a reason he is picking at you like this. Either he doesn't respect you, or he wants out. Don't let him get away with being a douche. Call him out!
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