L3stat Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Ok i hope you guys/ women can give me some advice on this. so i have been this this women (A) for aboout a month now and things were great in the begininig then i found out she was emotionally unavaliable but i work through that and things seem to be okay for a while. Now there is no affection or anything physical between us, not for the lack of trying on my part, whenever i try i always seem to get rejected 90% of the time "yes we have done things before" i dont know what to do..its drving me up a ****ing wall and giving me a headache, she is closed off there is no communacations from her at all.. sometimes once in a blue moon i get the " i care about you alot" but thats about it.... i am starting to feel like she does not give a **** about the realtionship and i am just being us emotionally and talking just doesnt seem to ****ing work with this chick. On the other hand women (B) is the oppisite of women (A) open in all areas, when we go out she always pays for everything because she knows my situation and she is in a better place then i am finacially but i dont take advantage of her.. but women (B) is a little timid with being with me because she found out i have a heart condition and the dr. dont expect me to live pass 30 i am 25...... i am not really worried about women B as much as i am women A i just was curious if any of you guys/ girls had any exp with this kinda of drama....also i am not a player i do care about both these women... and i was dating them at the same time and both became my gf on the same day... i know most people will not approve of this:( i am not trying to brag......
Lemontang Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I'm actually in a similar situation myself, two women I'm dating (they both know I'm openly dating BTW) have both stated there falling head over heels for me and want to get serious, but I'll post about this some other time, don't want to thread hijack. In your scenario, go with the one that makes you happy, not trying to sound morbid, but if your ticker is running short so to speak, then go with the one that makes you happy, not the one that stresses you out. Personally I'd go B if your more comfortable with her, explain to her that yes you may have limited time left, but shes the one you want to spend that limited time left with.
Author L3stat Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 ha i understand but i actually think A would be a better fit for me if she ever opens up:mad: i really just cant figure out wtf is wrong with A she has told me everything from " i ahve been hurt before" "guys lie" "this is how i am" idk i dont want to end it but she isnt giving me a reason why i shouldnt... i mean i dont know how she truly feels because she doesnt express her self at all sighs:lmao:B i like her and all and she is everything i could ask for in a women but for some reason she sees no future with me and i cant argue with her because she is right.....
Lemontang Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Then I'd pull up A on her issues. Serious I wouldn't waste the time if I knew my time was short. I'm not being morbid (again) but in your case your here for a good time, not a long time (but I sincerely do wish you all the best and that you do stick around a long time). I'd just go all out and play every hand in the deck I had available.
Krisha Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 It seems like you are more attracted to 'A' because she is emotionally unavailable. It seems more of a chase for you. 'B' is predictable, you know exactly how she feels. You have to choose what is more important for you. Whether it's being with someone who is emotionally available and lets you know how she feels or the chase of not knowing.
annie_gordon_PI Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Flip a coin...but you should really just pick one. Either you'll end up chasing (a) who you like, or being content with (b) who you also like.
Author L3stat Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 I know she is wasting my time and both these women know about my limited time. I know i will have to pick one i really dont want to juggle 2 women its not fair for me or them... Maybe its because she is closed off maybe thats the reason why i seem to go crazy and chase after her and waste my time:mad: I am going to call (A) out in her **** next time i see her but i already know shes not gonna do or say anything but just give me a blank ****ing stare:laugh:
daphne Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 OP, I would say she's just fearful and taking her time to get to know you. She sounds really skittish. If you have the patience, check her out. She may be awesome underneath the armour. But give it a time limit so you don't waste your time on someone who can never open up. I'm someone who takes my time to get to know someone and I can be terrible at communication early on as well. I don't want to create conflict or sound naggy or harpie so I just don't express things sometimes. If she's like me, she'll warm up if she develops trust for you. The problem is, she probably won't be able to trust you if you're dating someone else. Just sayin'
bac Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Do you have at least sex with them? Women get attached after sex. So, if you want her to be emotional, have quality sex with her. Quality sex includes a long foreplay and enough cuddling after sex.
redmelon Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 if you only have 5 years to live, why get bogged down in a relationship with either one? Maybe you should develop more of a devil may care attitude and spend the rest of your time experiencing first kisses and passion! Just a thought...
porter218 Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Does woman (A) know about woman (B)? If she does that would explain why she is so closed off and guarded...or even if she suspects you are dating others.
Author L3stat Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 ofcourse they do not know about each other. secondly i just wanted to have a meaningful realionship with someone, also i dont think i can have the devil may care attitude its not me personally. I am actually reaching my limit with A i could understand if she was trying to get to know me, but the girl doesnt talk at all, doesnt even seem intersted in getting to know me and whenever i ask her anythinig personal she says she doesnt want to get into that..... i just think she is just an emotional vampire, i am just feeding her i am open and tell her the truth about who i am and what i want, but she had 7 bf and she is olny 22 so lol... i really think that she has just been really hurt, and she just refuse to even try to give me a chance.
Author L3stat Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 also yes i did sleep with B almost every time we see each other... but the one time i was sleeping with A which she started because she misunderstood something i said.... i stop because i saw her facial expression didnt look like she wanted to and was just doing it to make me happy i guess but i dont take advantage of women.. i am kinda regretting that now.. i guess:lmao:
atlnay Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Not to be extra morbid OP, but you put out there your limited time and that both women know. Perhaps Girl A doesn't want to be a widow in any relationship by the time she is 27? 22 is awwwwwwfully young to be asked to take on a relationship where, from what you've said, you're death is so certain. I do hope you are an exception!
Author L3stat Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 you might be right about that whole widow thing i didnt even thiink about it. when i do ask her she says it doesnt bother her.... plus i am not worried about my death until 2012 comes and goes.... with all the predections i wont be the olny one going lol.
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