alliance_820 Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 well this hasnt been the easiest week, but I'm at 1 week NC. We broke up 2 weeks ago, after she said things didnt quite feel the same, and that she had a ton of stuff going on in her life with a lot of stress. She is also a first semester freshman in college, so that doesnt help. Her friends say they dont think she was ready for a long term committed relationship. I'm still holding out hope for NC to give her time to sort out everything she has going on, and give her something to miss. This way she can have the break she said she needed, and maybe when she figures everything out, she'll realize that it mightve been a mistake. I'm just wondering, for how many people has NC worked? I've read of at least 2 people on here, but I'm just curious. I know my chances aren't amazingly high, but I do have some hope that it'll work out.
Capthxc Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I hate to say it, but NC isnt some miracle answer to fixing relationships. It's highly situational. It comes down to you, not her. My ex gave me the same deal. Needing space, being stressed out, my behaviour causing her to not feel the same. She was very vague on what she wanted, and i think she did that on purpose. I think she wants to see if i can still respect the fact that she needs space away from me, that she needs to live her life guilt free. It makes it really rough since we are long distance right now, but im using this time to break my depedence on her, and to do the things i've needed to do for a while now, but put off because she dealt with it. I'm using this time to change myself, and maybe we can start back from square one, maybe not. Anyways, i'd go with what was said in the other thread about the same thing. Try and work on going 1 month of NC. It wont be easy, it may just feel like the longest month of your life, but do it, see how you feel at the end of the month. If you feel like you can talk to her and deal with any kind of response you may get, even if that means no response, then nonchalantly approach her and see whats up.
Ajax Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I've gone six weeks with NC. I'm not going to sugar coat it, at one week it will only get worse before it gets better. After a month you can be about 90% sure you're never going to hear from your ex again, which tends to bring the pain back to the surface. But it's also a sign that they're not the one, and kills a little of the hope you're still clinging to. But the point of NC is not to get your ex back. It's not a strategy for that. It's to help you move on. I guarantee you that those few couples that reunited, got back together in spite of NC, not because of it.
Author alliance_820 Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 I've gone six weeks with NC. I'm not going to sugar coat it, at one week it will only get worse before it gets better. After a month you can be about 90% sure you're never going to hear from your ex again, which tends to bring the pain back to the surface. But it's also a sign that they're not the one, and kills a little of the hope you're still clinging to. But the point of NC is not to get your ex back. It's not a strategy for that. It's to help you move on. I guarantee you that those few couples that reunited, got back together in spite of NC, not because of it. Well here's the thing, when she broke it off she said a few things that made it obvious she still had feelings for me, but she just felt that it was too hard right now and she has a ton going on. A few people said NC would help her clear her mind and work everything in her life out, and give her something to miss. And that seems pretty logical. I know it's not a sure fire thing, but it does seem to make sense.
Author alliance_820 Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 (edited) I've gone six weeks with NC. I'm not going to sugar coat it, at one week it will only get worse before it gets better. After a month you can be about 90% sure you're never going to hear from your ex again, which tends to bring the pain back to the surface. But it's also a sign that they're not the one, and kills a little of the hope you're still clinging to. But the point of NC is not to get your ex back. It's not a strategy for that. It's to help you move on. I guarantee you that those few couples that reunited, got back together in spite of NC, not because of it. That, and I guarantee I'll hear from her again, because she wants to remain good friends, and we hangout with the same people when I am in town. So I'm thinking NC will give her time to work her life out, and when she does she might miss what we had. I only think it has a chance to work because my situation will mean seeing my ex a good bit, and if she still had feelings when she broke it off, they dont just go away. So me missing from her life for awhile might make her rethink. And if like you said, it doesnt work, then it helped me get over her. So it works both ways. Edited October 11, 2010 by alliance_820
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