my friend betrayed me!!! should i let go? forgive her? things will never be the same!

[branching butterfly]

one of my best friends slept with a guy who i had a major crush on for a long time and i am so upset i don't know what to do. i feel so betrayed by her and feel like she broke the girls code! yeah me and him never went out or had any romantic link or connection and he was never interested in me and anyway but i just feel like she crossed the line by having sex with him!!! me and him were close friends and i knew that he seen other girls but i am so upset that she would have sex with him!! the code was that hes pretty much off limits when hes around us and no girl can get with him but she let her attractions towards him get the best of her!!! shes one of my best friends but i cant believe this...i don't know if i should just get over it since he isn't my boyfriend. i want to think that this would just make things easier for me and realize that they are going to do what they are going to do but i am still so pissed!!

 

is she wrong? or should he be off limits?

[2sunny]

one of my best friends slept with a guy who i had a major crush on for a long time and i am so upset i don't know what to do. i feel so betrayed by her and feel like she broke the girls code! yeah me and him never went out or had any romantic link or connection and he was never interested in me and anyway but i just feel like she crossed the line by having sex with him!!! me and him were close friends and i knew that he seen other girls but i am so upset that she would have sex with him!! the code was that hes pretty much off limits when hes around us and no girl can get with him but she let her attractions towards him get the best of her!!! shes one of my best friends but i cant believe this...i don't know if i should just get over it since he isn't my boyfriend. i want to think that this would just make things easier for me and realize that they are going to do what they are going to do but i am still so pissed!!

 

is she wrong? or should he be off limits?

 

so, if he isn't at all interested in you - then why can't she have him?

 

since it was never going to be anything with him - as a friend, i'd be happy if one of my friends found one of my male friends to be happy with. you should too.

[FanFan]

 

is she wrong? or should he be off limits?

 

It depends.

 

She is wrong if it was just a fling. She choose a fling over the friendship with you. But, if they are dating and getting serious, you should be happy for her.

[Cee]

I say love the one you've got - your best friend.

 

Two scenarios will likely happen:

 

1) It turns out to be a ONS, which gives you a sense of what would have happened if you hooked up with him-- nothing.

 

2) It turns into a relationship, which means your friend and this guy were meant to be.

 

My girlfriend slept with a guy I went on one lousy date with in college. At first, I was really mad at her, but then we both realized that he was a tool. She and I remained good friends and were roomies at one point. I love her to death and am so glad she forgave me for being such a jealous shrew.

 

Friendship is precious. Don't let a fleeting crush get in the way of that.

[branching butterfly]

thats the thing cee they had sex multiple times and she's spent time at his house and even hung out with him! shes not in love with him and they never got into anything serious but i'm just upset that shes broke the code! no one is supposed to mess with him! he was basically off-limits.

[Not the love ace]

If I remember correctly you're the same girl who had an obsession with a certain guy and I am assuming its the same exact guy you've been talking of. Is so, GET OVER IT already, I'm sorry but I can't sugar coat it enough. You said it yourself, he's not an ex, you guys never had sex together, never dated each other, never shared any romantic experiences of any kind and were just good friends at one point. If you are a good friend, you'll be happy that they are attracted to each other and be happy that she's even telling you HER business. She doesn't need to tell you anything, she doesn't owe you an explanation, she doesn't owe you anything period.

 

Grow up, if I remember correctly another thing is that you are an adult in your 20's (maybe mid or something), enough with this "girl code" B.S. this isn't high school. I can't believe you're still nagging on this guy and obsessing over him, he also doesn't owe you anything just breathe, leave it alone. MOVE ON.

[stillafool]

I think what your friend did is an absolute NO NO! There are so many other men to sleep with why would someone risk hurting their best friend? I hope you forgive her but if it were me, we wouldn't be best friends anymore, but mere acquaintances. I need my best friend to have my back at all times because I'm going to have hers. I would never be able to trust that girl again.

[quankanne]

shes broke the code! no one is supposed to mess with him! he was basically off-limits.

 

syes, it's a little tacky that she hooked up with him knowing you like him, but then again, you and he weren't exclusive. Which means, he's fair game, and you have no say in what goes on or whether someone else can "have" him.

[Not the love ace]

Hey, do you hook up with other guys? Date? Mess? Whatever, do you do that? If so, isn't that okay? How about if you got a boyfriend that's obviously not him. How would you feel? Would it then be okay for someone to take him? Stop being so pushy and making people feel sorry for you.