Mad Max Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 My friend Shannon and I have been friends for 10 years. When we used to live in the Luc, there were decent girls and low quality ones, just like any other place. The Luc is mainly upper-middle class, so you can imagine that there are quite a few girls with the princess mentality, spoiled, etc. We both came to the states in 2005(me in July, she in September). We both noticed dating culture differences between the two countries, but we expected that. She started dating a guy in 2008 and he was her first everything. They're still together now and I'm guessing he's going to propose in the next year or so. She deserves it. He's a good guy and loves her. The three of us went out for dinner one night a few weeks ago and we were talking about our childhood in the Luc, current events, families, and a bunch of other topics. One thing she said really confused me and I really didn't understand until she explained herself in further detail. She said that most girls(younger than us, our age, and even a bit older than us) are not GF material. I asked her to elaborate and the following is what she said, word for word: Darren, we've known each other since we've been kids. We've lived in two countries and have seen how close Canada and the U.S. are, but there's also huge cultural differences. Here in the U.S., girls look up to celebrities like Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton. Girls are under the impression that it's okay to drink until you pass out, hook up with random guys at parties and clubs, and do drugs. Most girls are not girlfriend material. How often have we heard of a girl f*cking 3 different guys, having threesomes, or even f*cking 3 or 4 guys at the same time? How often have we heard of a girl hooking up with strange guys and cheating on her boyfriend? It's all too common. These girls are going to hit 25 years old with no relationship skills. They slutted it up in college and that's all they know how to do. I went to college, I saw what went on, and didn't want to get involved with it. I could have hooked up with guys at parties, had f*ck buddies or friends with benefits, but it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth the risk of STDs, having meaningless sex, and becoming jaded. Dave and I are likely going to get married at some point. We want to have kids together. Had I decided to become a whore in college, I very likely would have ended up in the same position as the other girls we know. I'm in a much better position than they are. I have the love of my life, a good job, decent pay, and I kept my morals and values. At 25, when we're married and possibly have a child, these girls might finally get the message. But by then, it'll be too late. What decent guy would want a 25 year old girl with no relationship skills, a promiscuous past, and possibly a few STDs? They don't understand that now, but they will in a few years. The guys got what they wanted. An easy lay and able to move on. They can claim they're enjoying life all they want, but in a few years, I'll be having the last laugh. After hearing Shannon's side, I have to say she's spot on. I have no doubt that she and her boyfriend will live a happy life together. We've been friends for 10 years and she has always been very blunt and honest. This is why our friendship has lasted for so long.
lso802 Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 When we used to live in the Luc, there were decent girls and low quality ones, just like any other place. I agree with your thought here, but I can see where your friend, Shannon, is coming from, too. I just think the girls who are more loose and wild in college are more noticeable than the girls who aren't. It doesn't mean the girls who aren't are significantly less in number.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 After hearing Shannon's side, I have to say she's spot on. I have no doubt that she and her boyfriend will live a happy life together. We've been friends for 10 years and she has always been very blunt and honest. This is why our friendship has lasted for so long. Eh? The ones who were not total whores in HS or College cheat just as much. Seriously, what do you expect? Women here are told every day that it's Ok to cheat. That if they cheat it's their Husband or BF's fault for not keeping them happy. Then if they are married and the Husband doesn't like it... he gets to pay her craploads of money. I mean what the hell do you expect in an environment like that. If we did the same with men... I would be able to count the faithful guys on one hand.
Kamille Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Franchement, il y autant de filles qui aiment s'envoyer en l'air au Québec qu'aux États- Unies. Si c'est pas quelque chose qui t'intéresse, tant mieux pour toi. Sinon, il y a aucune raison de les juger. Translation: Come on, there are as many girls who love fooling around in Québec as in the USA. If that's not what you're into, good for you. There's no reason to judge.
that girl Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Shannon sounds like she has issues. Either she is having a specific problem with a friend or two or she has general issues with other women. I think I'm a little older than you, but most of my friends do not have a what I would call a promiscuous past. Even when I think about the friends who have the most promiscuous history (some one night stands, 1-5 FWB arrangements) aren't anything like what you are describing. The one exception I can think of is an old roommate who had banged 100 guys before starting college and by 25 she was married with a kid in what appears to be a stable relationship. At least for the girls I know (mostly 26-33 college educated and living in big cities, so a little older than you but not a whole generation older), what you're talking about isn't the norm. I do think there can be differences between groups, but I have a hard time believing that within a few years the college scene became a giant porno. I'm sure there are women out there like your friend, but for every woman out there like them there is also a man. Meanwhile, there are lots of people out there who have chosen to be more selective. If you surround yourself with hard partiers, that is who you are going to know. If you surround yourself with less hard partying people, that is who you are going to know. But saying every woman out there save Shannon is a whore who will regret her life is ridiculous.
Star Gazer Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Come on, there are as many girls who love fooling around in Québec as in the USA. If that's not what you're into, good for you. There's no reason to judge. AMEN! Thank you, Kam! I'm getting quite annoyed with Max's "Oh the girls in Quebec are so much better than the US" attitude. Give me a break!
Author Mad Max Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 Franchement, il y autant de filles qui aiment s'envoyer en l'air au Québec qu'aux États- Unies. Si c'est pas quelque chose qui t'intéresse, tant mieux pour toi. Sinon, il y a aucune raison de les juger. Translation: Come on, there are as many girls who love fooling around in Québec as in the USA. If that's not what you're into, good for you. There's no reason to judge. Sorry, I'm Anglophone. Cote St. Luc is an English speaking community west of Montréal. I know words and phrases, but I'm not fluent in Francais. And I acknowledged that there are bad apples everywhere.
Star Gazer Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I don't think the US should be judged by the difficulties you find in NYC. The rest of the country is not like NYC, anymore than the rest of the country is like the snobs of Beverly Hills (and I was once one of them).
Kamille Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Sorry, I'm Anglophone. Cote St. Luc is an English speaking community west of Montréal. I know words and phrases, but I'm not fluent in Francais. And I acknowledged that there are bad apples everywhere. You did understand the English translation, right? Are these women bad apples or just not your cup of tea? Why judge? Why not just choose to live and let live?
Author Mad Max Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 You did understand the English translation, right? Are these women bad apples or just not your cup of tea? Why judge? Why not just choose to live and let live? Anglophone would be an English speaking person. They're bad apples and not my cup of tea. When you live around a bunch of people that are like that, it seems like the norm. And I didn't even bring it up initially, Shannon did.
Jannah Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promiscuity Hope that clarifies things better.
Knittress Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Why be a hater? I'm glad your friend is happy, but it's no reason for anyone to feel smug and superior - life has a way of dropping you on your butt when you start to act like that. I do sort to get where you're coming from, though. I was at a gay bar a few months ago and there was this wasted chick in a too-short dress and an overly painted face. She was air humping the stage so the entire room was treated with a view of her jiggling girl bits. IN A GAY BAR! It was like the only way she knew how to relate to the world was in an oversexed attention-starved manner. It was beyond pathetic. That being said, I've always felt an admiration for the fire and vitality of the peeps who're sluttier than I am. Who cares if you think they're screwing up their lives. They probably think the same of you - is that why you're so negative towards them?
Woggle Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I love women who can truly look around them and see gender relations for what they have become.
Author Mad Max Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promiscuity Hope that clarifies things better. promiscuity denotes sex with relatively many partners Even then, the definition is broad at best. Some people think relatively many partners is double digits and some think it's anything more than 2. But, I think once you get to threesomes and doing 3+ people at the same time, it gives a pretty good indication that one is promiscuous.
Jannah Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Even then, the definition is broad at best. Some people think relatively many partners is double digits and some think it's anything more than 2. But, I think once you get to threesomes and doing 3+ people at the same time, it gives a pretty good indication that one is promiscuous. That is your personal belief, and I myself share similar views. But, let's not create a thread, for the sole intention of bashing others who don't share the same view.
Kamille Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Anglophone would be an English speaking person. Finally! I lived 30+ years in Canada and now I know what to call you guys! They're bad apples and not my cup of tea. When you live around a bunch of people that are like that, it seems like the norm. And I didn't even bring it up initially, Shannon did. So Shannon stole your computer and typed out: "I aknowledge there are bad apples everywhere?" Listen, nobody is holding a gun to your head forcing you to date these girls. Stop complaining about them and start trying to figure out how you can meet someone you find right for you. Where do you usually meet girls?
Author Mad Max Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 That is your personal belief, and I myself share similar views. But, let's not create a thread, for the sole intention of bashing others who don't share the same view. Oh no. It's not meant to bash others at all. It's simply about how some people choose a different path and don't expect there to be any repercussions. People have different views and that's fine. But when people jeopardize their health and the health of others, as well as living immoral lifestyles, it's their choice but there are consequences. I didn't even mention it in the first place and I didn't quite understand initially.
Knittress Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Don't much care for the word "immoral" - it doesn't usually mean anything except that that speaker feels disgust for something that is contrary to their personal tastes.
that girl Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Oh no. It's not meant to bash others at all. It's simply about how some people choose a different path and don't expect there to be any repercussions. People have different views and that's fine. But when people jeopardize their health and the health of others, as well as living immoral lifestyles, it's their choice but there are consequences. I didn't even mention it in the first place and I didn't quite understand initially. But for every woman has had a threesome, there is a guy who had a threesome. Yet the thread you started is about how most women aren't girlfriend material. Double standard much?
Jannah Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Oh no. It's not meant to bash others at all. It's simply about how some people choose a different path and don't expect there to be any repercussions. People have different views and that's fine. But when people jeopardize their health and the health of others, as well as living immoral lifestyles, it's their choice but there are consequences. I didn't even mention it in the first place and I didn't quite understand initially. In terms of Promiscuity, comparing the USA to Canada, and singling out the female gender, just because it is where you and your friend are from, is not an accurate assessment.
Knittress Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 But for every woman has had a threesome, there is a guy who had a threesome. I'm laughing because this is mathematically impossible. Depending on the popularity of the threesome combinations - maybe twice as many women have been in threesome than men? Or maybe the group most likely to have threesomes are gay men... but they're a smaller population overall... Hmm... I sense a groundbreaking new research topic!
Author Mad Max Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 But for every woman has had a threesome, there is a guy who had a threesome. Yet the thread you started is about how most women aren't girlfriend material. Double standard much? Considering that it was a woman that made the initial comments, no not at all. And you specifically picked out the threesome part and ignored everything else. There's many double standards. I'll go through a few of them: -If a woman cheats, the guy didn't keep her happy. If a man cheats, he's a POS. -If a woman is a virgin, she's pure. If a guy is a virgin, he's a loser. -If a woman sleeps around, she's liberated. If a guy sleep around, he's a dog
Star Gazer Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Considering that it was a woman that made the initial comments, no not at all. And you specifically picked out the threesome part and ignored everything else. There's many double standards. I'll go through a few of them: -If a woman cheats, the guy didn't keep her happy. If a man cheats, he's a POS. -If a woman is a virgin, she's pure. If a guy is a virgin, he's a loser. -If a woman sleeps around, she's liberated. If a guy sleep around, he's a dog Those are YOUR definitions, and they aren't the majority. In reality, they usually go something like this: -If a woman cheats, she's a whore. If a man cheats, his wife made him miserable. -If a woman is a virgin, she's a prude. If a guy is a virgin, he has standards. -If a woman sleeps around, she's a whore. If a guy sleep around, he's a pimp (in a good way).
Author Mad Max Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 Those are YOUR definitions, and they aren't the majority. In reality, they usually go something like this: -If a woman cheats, she's a whore. If a man cheats, his wife made him miserable. -If a woman is a virgin, she's a prude. If a guy is a virgin, he has standards. -If a woman sleeps around, she's a whore. If a guy sleep around, he's a pimp (in a good way). The only one I'll agree with is the last one. The first two, you couldn't be more wrong.
Knittress Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 The only one I'll agree with is the last one. The first two, you couldn't be more wrong. I think you're both right.
Recommended Posts