Hopeful30 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 He is very inconsistent. Says he likes me, does sweet things for me, but on the other hand says things ive heard millions of times before. "I'm not like every other guy you've been with. Don't be scared. Why won't you kiss me." Takes me out, holds the door, gives his jacket, yet tells me if I don't like him, to not play games with him and find someone else. There are times I believe him, and other times I don't. I really don't know what to make of this. Is he confused? Unsure? How should I proceed? P.S I do like him. NOTE: Its been only 3 weeks, Ive seen him maybe 6-7 times total.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Why are you saying he's inconsistent? I say he's being a real gentlemen. He may be overly expressive, but he has been honest and has spoken his honestly about how he feel. What constituted not being truthful?
Author Hopeful30 Posted October 10, 2010 Author Posted October 10, 2010 Why are you saying he's inconsistent? I say he's being a real gentlemen. He may be overly expressive, but he has been honest and has spoken his honestly about how he feel. What constituted not being truthful? There just have been times when he is really cold. For instance I was with a girlfriend of mine while he was sleeping on the couch, and instead of waking up and saying "hey girls whats up im gonna go for a walk" he just woke up, put on his jacket and said "im going for a walk you coming or not?" It threw me off and I didn't know what to make of it. Am I overanalyzing?
Pfiend101 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I would say you're over analyzing. How old are you both?
Author Hopeful30 Posted October 10, 2010 Author Posted October 10, 2010 I would say you're over analyzing. How old are you both? im 25 and he is 28
Sabali Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 (edited) First, no, you are not overanalyzing this one. He is starting to display behavior of the guys that typically make you weak in the knees. If I recall correctly, Hopeful, you like to withold information on your guys and I am willing to bet, he displays more questionable behavior than the one above. Anyway, there are certain things that shouldn't be overanalyzed. It can drive you crazy and they usually mean nothing but we can make a big deal out of them many times. On the other hand, there is behavior that define who a person is even though it may seem small. Anyone can have a bad day and be a little irritable and you must understand this but if that same person grabs your arm out of frustration and blames it on a bad day, you know that is BS. It's all how we handle a situation. After only 3 weeks of being with you (the honeymoon period), this guy did do something disrespectful to you and it was a defining behavior. "You coming or not?" What the hell? He can't blame it on a nightmare during the nap, a bad day or whatever. He should still be on his best behavior at this time for sure. This is a red flag. I personally don't find a need to convince someone I am not like the other guys. I figure that no matter what your past is, I should make you feel comfortable with me and I don't need to make a plea for you to do so. I just don't know about those who find a need to announce that they are not like others and that you can trust them. You either trust me or feel comfortable around me or you should find someone else who can make you feel that way around them. I understand you here. Edited October 10, 2010 by Sabali
Mad Max Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 First, no, you are not overanalyzing this one. He is starting to display behavior of the guys that typically make you weak in the knees. If I recall correctly, Hopeful, you like to withold information on your guys and I am willing to bet, he displays more questionable behavior than the one above. Anyway, there are certain things that shouldn't be overanalyzed. It can drive you crazy and they usually mean nothing but we can make a big deal out of them many times. On the other hand, there is behavior that define who a person is even though it may seem small. Anyone can have a bad day and be a little irritable and you must understand this but if that same person grabs your arm out of frustration and blames it on a bad day, you know tthat is BS. It's all how we handle a situation. After only 3 weeks of being with you (the honeymoon period), this guy did do something disrespectful to you and it was a defining behavior. He can't blame it on a nightmare during the nap, a bad day or whatever. He should still be on his best behavior at this time for sure. This is a red flag. I personally don't find a need to convince someone I am not like the other guys. I figure that no matter what your past is, I should make you feel comfortable with me and I don't need to make a plea for you to do so. I just don't know about those who find a need to announce that they are not like others and that you can trust them. You either trust me or feel comfortable around me or you should find someone else who can make you feel that way around them. I understand you here. ^^^ This. Truly good guys don't need to compare themselves to others and try to convince others that they're not like other guys.
Str8noChaser Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 There just have been times when he is really cold. For instance I was with a girlfriend of mine while he was sleeping on the couch, and instead of waking up and saying "hey girls whats up im gonna go for a walk" he just woke up, put on his jacket and said "im going for a walk you coming or not?" It threw me off and I didn't know what to make of it. Am I overanalyzing? You still haven't really listed anything that shows he is inconsistent. Based on the things you've repeated him saying: "I'm not like every other guy you've been with. Don't be scared. Why won't you kiss me." After this 3 weeks and seeing him 6-7 times have you two been physical yet?
Author Hopeful30 Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 After this 3 weeks and seeing him 6-7 times have you two been physical yet? He tried to kiss me the 3 or 4th time I saw him, and every time after that. I only kissed him the last time I saw him and thats it. He has been very insistent on having sex, but I dont want to. Not this early and not with his approach. "Why are you scared?" Pff like im stupid. He thinks by telling me im scared that ill try to prove otherwise and do whatever he wants me to do. That's what throws me off. Yet there are times when he will take me to eat to make sure im not hungry, or go buy me chocolate ice cream because he knows I love it. Or he will be a little late for the movie we are going to see just so I can sit a little bit in the car and warm up cuz im freezing my a** off. So like I said, very inconsistent. Sometimes he is a "player", and other times he is very sincere. :S
carhill Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 If his romantic and/or interpersonal relationship approach rubs you the wrong way, discontinue dating him. TBH, as an older man, he sounds, by his obvious words, insecure to me. A gentleman is quietly confident, even if he has doubts and/or insecurities. On your side, what are you doing and/or saying to inspire his confidence in and positive feelings about this dating dynamic? You say you like him. Are you *attracted* to him? Honesty, please.
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