rk369 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I'll try for a short version here. My ex-boyfriend and I had been together almost four years. We were good to each other, and good for each other. Our relationship was strained at the beginning of the year, due to his mom being terminally ill and my dear grandma dying. In June, I got drunk and sent him an email basically telling him I wanted more than I was getting. The next day, I did apologize via text and tell him I was sorry and that I love him. He thought I was apologizing for texts earlier the night before and said he loved me too. Then he read the email, and I did not hear from him again. I did send him some text messages here and there after giving him a couple weeks to come around (which he did not). There was a total of about ten texts between us, mostly me letting him know I still wanted to be with him or talk to him, etc, and him mostly giving me the impression that I ended it and there is nothing to talk about. On Aug 16, about a week after I had decided to go NC, he sent me a text asking if I was working. I responded "nope" and never heard from him again. About three hours later, I asked why he had asked. He said "just wondering...." Aug 21... he gets a call from someone he used to chat with online. He responded to her a couple days later and they got together on I believe Aug 29. I was able to see this through emails and phone records. I sent him a desperate email and text, to which he did not respond. I realize now what a huge mistake that was. I did follow my last email up with a much more rational one, again asking for a time in the future to get my things and telling him to be happy. I am 99.99% sure his current "relationship" is BS and will not last. There is no way he was over me... not because I'm that special, but because our love truly was that special. I think he is trying to stuff his feelings for me by being with her. That being said, he also told her after their first meeting (which was apparently pretty innocent/friendly), that he loves her. That this is not just fate, it is their destiny; that she is the missing piece he has been searching for. Ad nauseum. A whole lot of crap that, quite frankly, he is not capable of feeling. Furthermore, she is still married. I have good reason to believe that this so-called relationship will die within the month. He and I share a cell phone plan. He could shut me off at any time. I did also ask to get my things from his house, and he has failed to respond to that. In the past, he told me I had to leave certain items there, jokingly saying that he wanted to make sure I had to come back. When he first started sending her emails, he went quite the distance to not use his main email (he did not know I remembered his password from a long time ago). He started a facebook, probably on her request, with a fake name and hidden identity. She had changed her relationship status to "in a relationship" and I am gathering that he made her take that off there. So call me a fool for being hopeful, but it is what it is, and I AM hopeful. I have not had contact now since August 31. However, I am planning to break that as he reaches the point where he will be ready to bolt on her (I know this man well, know how he works, and this is his history with past relationships). I am the only relationship he has had that has gone over the three-month mark. I am going to send him a very non-threatening email, one that will make him realize I am thinking about him and hopefully strike something in him. This email does not require a response from him; and if I don't get one, will not be sending anything else. So this is the email I am going to send him in about a week and a half: "Your Papa's birthday.... I remember how hard this day was for you last year. I hope you are able to remember all of the good times you had with him. I am glad I got to "visit" him with you. I know it doesn't really get easier, because he was such an incredible influence in your life. Give your mom a hug, too; as I am sure she is missing him today as well. I hope <the nickname we gave his mom> is doing well, I miss her." Ugh. Even my short version is quite long. Sorry. But tell me what you think about that email.
chocolate_boy Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I know you love and miss him, but you deserve better than someone who can walk away from a 4 year relationship so easily. Take back your pride and dignity and don't contact him.
Author rk369 Posted October 10, 2010 Author Posted October 10, 2010 Thanks, you're probably right. I'm sure you realize that I'm looking for hope at every turn. I really want him back. I want us back. But I will consider your words over the next few days and I might just change my mind on that email. I wish I could just move on, but my life as I knew it has shattered. He really was everything to me. I do miss him and love him.
chocolate_boy Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Thanks, you're probably right. I'm sure you realize that I'm looking for hope at every turn. I really want him back. I want us back. But I will consider your words over the next few days and I might just change my mind on that email. I wish I could just move on, but my life as I knew it has shattered. He really was everything to me. I do miss him and love him. I've been there so many times, I'm sort of there now, but in all honesty I've never actually gotten back together with an ex, the opportunity has arisen every time but it's always been after I've gotten over them. Murphy's law.
Author rk369 Posted October 10, 2010 Author Posted October 10, 2010 I can honestly say I have never had an ex that I wanted back (not counting high school). My relationships have always run their natural course, and I have moved on. Not to say I haven't been heartbroken or anything, because I have. It's just that I honestly can't imagine finding someone who will be more to me than what my ex was. We weren't falling apart. We were in love. I feel like he is trying to teach me a lesson, so to speak, about that email I sent him. I realize how totally immature that is, but it's something I am willing to forgive. This is so freaking hard. And as a side note, I have been going stir-crazy the last few days and am so glad I found this forum. It's just what I needed. Thanks for listening.
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