D-Lish Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 In my marriage I felt so lonley despite being part of a partnership. That was way worse than actually being alone.
skydiveaddict Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 I would hope that, to some extent, you aren't "alone" while serving with your fellow soldiers? Is there not a commradarie, a group respect for what you are all facing together? In my case, I'm crossing days off the calendar waiting for lawschool to start. Then, I'll at least have a reason to get up in the morning, and maybe even some hope for my future. I bet your future will be bright. School is always a good thing. As for my fellow soldiers, you're right, there is a connection there, but if one of my squad gets killed, it is my responsibility to keep unit cohesion. So you can't form bonds with the guys that serve under you.
skydiveaddict Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Thus far, it's been good for putting me $20k in debt without being able to find a job. Soon, it will be $70k+ in debt -- but I suppose you need to crack eggs to make an omelet. I like omelets. I can see the logic in that. From the perspective of someone who can't accurately fire a .22, it seems that in a way it would be impossible to not form a bond. Either way, your mind will be occupied. It is impossible not to form a bond. You are correct. You just can't let it show. And yes it will occupy my mind. Anyway concentrate on law school. And what is debt but a temporary inconvenience? Well worth it. Pursue your dreams my friend. Start making those omelets!
lofi_tokyo Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Most advice that I read centers around the idea that you have to learn to be happy alone, before you can be in a relationship. I live by that advice, and when it took me two years to be happy and ready to date someone. I've now been doing it for six months - and I think I'm forgetting how to be happy again. I'm working hard to figure that out!
sumdude Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 I think the word should be content rather than happy. Happiness is fleeting. To be content outside of a romantic relationship is the key. Relationships come and go. They all end in one way or another. To be centered enough to be content and know you're okay single or not is a key to the good life.
HopeLove Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 I like this post! I think is important to be emotional stable before you start a new relationship so you need to let your ex go. There's a lot of things about my life that I really like and I'm able to be on my own BUT being in love is thousend times better. I'm happy with my life but I'm more happy when I can share it with someone I love and loves me back. We are all so hurt because we loved and although the pain can be terrible, and trust me, I was there too, crying every single day for entire months, I still want to fall in love again because the emotions you feel while in a healthy romantic relationship have no comparison. There's no guarantee the next relationship will work, so yes, there's a risk but I still think it's worth. What if next time works but you don't dare because you are afraid? I don't want to be afraid to live! At some point we all will fall in love again and than the rush will make us blind and don't remember quite well the pain we felt. We all had injuries in our lives and back to that moment it hurt like hell but although we remember we were on pain we don't remember exactly how bad it was. I think the same happens with heart issues. We will all have scars from this expirience but we should try hard to not let them ruin our future.
skydiveaddict Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 I'm afraid that my "dream" was to be with her. I'm grateful to have achieved that, but I know it is a bad perspective to have -- it leaves me with no other dreams going forward. QFT my friend. That was my dream as well. Sometimes that pain is a long time going isn't it? I have no other dreams right now either
9Lives Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 being in a relationship has brought more pain in my life than being single. it had its moments when it was lovely and that's cool. its a sweet thing but I can be okay without it. . but when I'm single, I'm good too. I get more done. I'm happy doing single life. i really enjoy it. I learned if it aint good love..it aint worth me giving up my single life. my happiness is very important to me. relationships are not all that to me. I want one but I'm no absolutely no rush. being in a relationship brings a DIFFERENT type of happiness. being single brings another kind of happiness. they will never be the same. . in my opinion, it is much better to be single loving life than to be with someone who is robbing you of good love. if the relationship is working fine, that's great. I refuse to be single and unhappy. I want to enjoy the single life and maybe a great man will come along. in the meantime I not going to let being single affect my happy.
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