flyfishin Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Honest question for girls out there. Would you date a guy in a serious relationship who had custody of his child? Also note there is no drama with the mother. I guess this question is more geared toward girls without kids themselves.
brainygirl Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Ah yes, because girls with kids aren't worth dating. I smell a hypocrite. to answer, I'd date a man with primary custody of his child or chirldren.
Taramere Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I can't exactly class myself as a girl, but I like children and have a very close relationship with my niece and nephew - so it wouldn't be a deal-breaker but it would certainly be an issue. I think for any child whose parents are separated, the parent with custody getting into a new relationship would be liable to be an issue that would require some careful handling and there has to be a level of thought and planning that you wouldn't get in a normal dating situation. I would prefer not to meet a man's children until the relationship felt like a fairly secure one with long term potential. I don't think it's particularly good for any child to meet a succession of "friends/aunts/uncles" who might form a close bond with them due to spending a lot of time in their company - only to suddenly leave their lives. Some children have a pretty good resilience to that kind of thing, but if they've already had to go through the upset of their parents splitting up, they're going to need a fair bit of stability. So that would be my issue in that situation. Not that I wouldn't want to spend time with the child, but that I wouldn't want that dynamic brought in unless the relationship felt like it had solid potential to be a long term one. A friend of mine is in that situation. It was a bit of time when she met her bf's children - and when she did, he invited me round too. That way he felt it was less threatening for the children because it created more of a sense of "some friends are coming round" as opposed to the pressure of "you're going to meet my girlfriend tonight."
tami-chan Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Honest question for girls out there. Would you date a guy in a serious relationship who had custody of his child? Also note there is no drama with the mother. I guess this question is more geared toward girls without kids themselves. Sure , why not? Do you have custody of your child? Do you think you are having problems dating because of this? On a side note, I think it is very endearing to watch a father and his children out and about. My ex-brother-in-law ( a shameless womanizer) used to "borrow" my daughter when he went to the supermarket to pick up milk or what not. He claimed women always approached him to comment on how cute and pretty "his" daughter was...and the rest is history! Sheesh..using my daughter as a prop...did I say shameless?
Eeyore79 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I'm a woman with no kids, and I wouldn't date a man who had kids, whether they lived with him or not. I don't see why I should have my freedom curtailed by someone elses kids who aren't even my responsibility.
yoga18 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Absolutely I would even if there was a split custody and even if there was some drama. If I cared for him and he worked hard as a provider for his family and loved his children then yes. However, going into this relationship is not without concern what if things don't work out? Would you be a jerk and not let me see the children etc??? I think boundaries/rules need set up. I don't have children we would need to discuss the fact that I do type thing. You need to know what you want bc if your done makin' babies then don't date someone who wants to have children
denise_xo Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 (edited) I wouldn't for the following reasons: - I have never wanted children (in any format) - I move country irregularly so I'm not a person who can provide much stability for children - it's challenging enough to make a relationship work. Having said that, many of my female friends would/do date men with children. Edited October 10, 2010 by denise_xo
tigressA Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 No, I wouldn't. I'm only 23 years old though and I don't know if I even want a kid or two of my own. I don't know how age would factor in for you. I assume you're in your 30s or so. Would you be open to dating a woman who has her own kid(s)?
Cee Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I have no children and I have gone on dates with men with children. At my age (40), most of the guys have children. However, I don't envision myself ever being a primary caregiver, so the Dad couldn't want a surrogate mom for their children. I think it varies among women. Just ask.
lilbunny Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I have done in the past. I never felt that the fact that he had a child was the problem, I got on very well with his daughter. Her mother on the other hand was a very different story. I suppose that is the only thing that would make it a proceed with caution situation. If there were no issues there I wouldn't rule it out.
Confusedalways Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 No, but I'm only 22 and kids are 8 years in the future at least for me, soo
Hopeful30 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Personally, no I wouldn't. I want my own kids, not somebody else's.
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