sb129 Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 My bro and his wife are stressed to the limit with regard to their 2 young boys and their jobs/life. My bro works days 7am-4pm, and my sil works afternoons 5pm-2am. They struggle to make ends meet and spend time with their kids. Basically, my bro comes home from work, they spend half hour together as a family and my SIL goes off to work. She gets home at 2:30 am, and the house is silent while they sleep for a few hours before the kids get up and my bro gets up to head off to work- then my SIL is up after 4 hours sleep to be with the kids until my bro gets home from work. Tough times.. Oh wow, that sounds tough. I really feel for them. . I find being a working mum hard work sometimes and my H and I get loads of time together and separately.
Author prettybaby Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 My bro and his wife are stressed to the limit with regard to their 2 young boys and their jobs/life. My bro works days 7am-4pm, and my sil works afternoons 5pm-2am. They struggle to make ends meet and spend time with their kids. Basically, my bro comes home from work, they spend half hour together as a family and my SIL goes off to work. She gets home at 2:30 am, and the house is silent while they sleep for a few hours before the kids get up and my bro gets up to head off to work- then my SIL is up after 4 hours sleep to be with the kids until my bro gets home from work. Tough times. It's a tough life. Their marriage is strained, they are both sleep deprived, and any spare time I can spend with the kids as their aunt helps out. Sometimes I feel put out- but it's my family, and I love my nephews. A part of me wants to say to my bro and his wife "hey, you guys asked for this, so deal with it!!"... Especially when the boys are acting up while I watch them. But wow, these are my nephews and I love them like crazy. I agree that you have to set boundaries with family- and it's annoying to have children inconvenience you when they aren't your children... I myself couldn't imagine ever being annoyed "enough" to turn away my nephews, ever. I can understand if I was dating a guy and he got annoyed by it, because it's not his family. I am not even a parent and I am going to say from observation- it's hard being a parent. Family support is really makes all the difference. Having said that- of course it's an issue when parents take advantage of family.... But it's a bounday issue- not a child protective services issue. The parents only need to say "no, we can't help out today". It's not the kid's fault, and it's too bad if they get caught in the middle. I'm sorry to hear that. Obviously, your brother and his wife are trying hard and they have terrible schedules on top of it. As far as my boyfriend's brother & his wife are concerned: they definitely don't struggle to make ends meet, in fact, they make a lot. Their work schedules are perfectly fine with an average of 9am to 4pm for her, and 10am to 7pm for him. She doesn't even have to cook any dinner, because my boyfriend's mother prepares a bunch of home cooked meals for them to heat up in the microwave when they get home, for like, every day of the week. Ugh. The more I think of it, the more I'm getting pissed at everybody. Because even though the grand parents complain about it all, it's clear that they are the enablers and we have to put up with the consequences of it. I wouldn't mind being interrupted by my own kids, but they're not my kids. And while WE are being disturbed, their parents are enjoying lazy mornings like we - the childless couple - should be able to do. I would actually gladly offer to babysit if they genuinely needed some alone time ... but they're alone plenty of times! And next month, they're going on a cruise AGAIN without their children. It's like, enough already. I'm still looking for that babysitter gift idea No luck so far.
soserious1 Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Prettybaby You are not married to your boyfriend any limit setting to be done with his parents is his job. Any limit setting to be done with the kids themselves(older kids can understand please call 1st) likewise needs to come from your boyfriend
soserious1 Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 People complain and these are the most special moments for the grandparents. Then time goes by and they never get to see them. Well, count me in as a Grandparent who refuses to be used as a drop off daycare center. I love my adult children,love my grand kids but I did my time giving up pleasurable adult activities & outings so that I could properly rear my children. Each of mine knew before they had children exactly what they could expect from me in terms of child care, thankfully I've raised responsible kids who are excellent parents & who would never dream of disrespecting their children by dumping them off at every opportunity.
Author prettybaby Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 Prettybaby You are not married to your boyfriend any limit setting to be done with his parents is his job. Any limit setting to be done with the kids themselves(older kids can understand please call 1st) likewise needs to come from your boyfriend You're right. I had to time to cool off about it, and I decided against initiating a talk with the grandparents. Should it ever happen again though, I will have a serious talk with my boyfriend and make it clear to him that if it pisses him off like he says it does, he's gonna have to seriously put his foot down and establish clear rules for everyone to respect.
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