Considering somewhat older women now

[irc333]

I've been through the online dating sites for women around my age range, but now....I'm trying something out, seeking out women perhaps even into their 50's (I'm 38) to see what happens.

 

Just taking a guess here, and perhaps men and women can somehow think (just a theory I'm pondering)

 

That older women do less game playing and somehow more appreciative of decent guys. I tend to agree with this, because I think women who get to a certain age, figured that in the past they dated the jerks that treated them crappy and got tired of the dating games and now can appreciate a genuine man with substance. They maybe perhaps learned their lesson and now wish to be even more realistic in their expectations and not date someone that treats them badly or with indifference?

 

Also, at least with the older women, being how I'm thin and in decent shape, I might have to opt for the older ladies that somehow look young for their age or perhaps at least have a decent figure on them (perhaps they still keep in shape in their late 40's/50's) Perhaps use the body type "Athletic" even.

 

Because I have dated an older woman, who told me she just tends to date men my age (she's 47) only because they just so happen to be as active as she is and doesn't lounge around the house like older men do (well, men her age). She had an older face (very pretty face though) , she had wrinkles (heck, even I'm getting some), gorgeous smile though....I guess she had the looks passed down to her by generations of attractive mothers/fathers. But had an arse you could bounce quarter off of, and as round as a soccer ball. LOL. I think she had breasts implants though..no biggie. But they looked nice.

 

There was this one woman that showed up in my search , early or mid 50's....I almost SWORE she was MY AGE, by looking at her intial glance...even her FACE looked young. (Typically, older people always age in their face and hands, you can't really do anything much about a face, but share had very little crows feet...that's a genetic thing there I would think).

 

 

Are there any older women here that concur? Guys, is there some validity to this?

Edited October 10, 2010 by irc333

[Insanitylater]

There was this one woman that showed up in my search , early or mid 50's....I almost SWORE she was MY AGE, by looking at her intial glance...even her FACE looked young.

 

My town must have a toxic dump that affects only the women . . .

 

The 35-45 yr olds look like they are 10 years older than they are

 

but the women from cleveland and pittsburgh in the same age range look 10 years younger

[ascendotum]

That older women do less game playing and somehow more appreciative of decent guys. I tend to agree with this, because I think women who get to a certain age, figured that in the past they dated the jerks that treated them crappy and got tired of the dating games and now can appreciate a genuine man with substance. They maybe perhaps learned their lesson and now wish to be even more realistic in their expectations and not date someone that treats them badly or with indifference?

 

....a certain age!!! If you are doing this for the hell of it or because banging a 50yo with a trim body will be easier than trying to get a response from her 35yo equivalent, then fine, but if this is a new strategy to find your dream girl then I think its time to reevaluate that on-line dating is not working for you. If the above is a motivator for appreciating women in their 50s, its a case of too little too late mate. IMO if a woman has history of dating jerks and doesn't switch to substance over style guys until her looks/figure start to fade then their 'learned their lesson' as you put it too late as far I am concerned, and I would not be interested in pursuing a women on that basis. NFW.

[irc333]

Yeah there's no real "Cougars" in my area, but the big city an hour from me, the older women (or even my age - late 30's are nice looking)

 

LOL on the Toxic Dump, or they look like a haggard biker's girlfriends. Some of them look like 500 miles of hard road.

 

Jerry Springer show candidates.

 

 

My town must have a toxic dump that affects only the women . . .

 

The 35-45 yr olds look like they are 10 years older than they are

 

but the women from cleveland and pittsburgh in the same age range look 10 years younger

[Insanitylater]

Why the hell is that?

 

Why are suburbia women beat down and battered looking,

 

but women the same age from metro areas young and fresh looking?

[irc333]

I think because in smaller areas it's more of a "fishbowl" society....I had a friend of mine that lives in suburbia with me ..a male friend...he liked to hit the down ,and was worth it to him to go the hour commute to the bigger city to meet people....and socialize.

 

He tried to take them out of their "fishbowl" to get them to meet new people.

 

He introduced me to them, and I got to chatting with them, and I asked if they got a chance to mingle around or meet some of our friends, and they said, "Nah, we're not into making NEW friends"

 

I kinda looked at her really suprised, I said, "really?" and she goes, "yeah, we have friends we hang out with from Highschool, or hang out with our families"

 

These people, in their 40's still hang out with their highschool friends? Wow....I haven't stayed in touch with ANYONE from HS too much, much less hang out with them....people tend to be stuck in their own little "time warp" almost unhealthy really.

 

There are some hotties in suburbia, but they're already mostly taken or married with families (some married since their HS days to their Highschool sweethearts), there's a small "sect" of "High Society" people in our area that would be considered the beautiful people, and they come from big names in the small towns....like they'd be the daughte of some father that had a big factory in BFE, Indiana, but someone in Indianoplois would have never heard of that company.

 

He had 2 single female friends he brought along with him, he mentioned to me that he was bringin' them along

 

 

Why the hell is that?

 

Why are suburbia women beat down and battered looking,

 

but women the same age from metro areas young and fresh looking?

[irc333]

Well, it does kind of make sense, esp. with some of the older women I had met, that I had mistaken to be closer to ME in age, and turns out they're 10 years older.

 

If they look as young as me, why not go for it, right?

 

 

Although, I had seen one woman go over board with her profile, as to actually LIE about her age, to "doctor" the search results, but then announce in her profile "I may have said I'm 35, but I'm actually 48! LOL I just seem to get carded when I go to bars and such, I just happen to look really young for my age, LOL"

 

ONe actually said she lied about her age, and it's none of our men's business to know what her age is...s.he said she was 35, but she was actually older, just admitted to l ying about it.

 

That's kinda getting way out there when it comes to narcissism

 

....a certain age!!! If you are doing this for the hell of it or because banging a 50yo with a trim body will be easier than trying to get a response from her 35yo equivalent, then fine, but if this is a new strategy to find your dream girl then I think its time to reevaluate that on-line dating is not working for you. If the above is a motivator for appreciating women in their 50s, its a case of too little too late mate. IMO if a woman has history of dating jerks and doesn't switch to substance over style guys until her looks/figure start to fade then their 'learned their lesson' as you put it too late as far I am concerned, and I would not be interested in pursuing a women on that basis. NFW.

Edited October 10, 2010 by irc333

[Angel1111]

It's true that nowdays people look young for their ages so I suppose I can see your point. Not speaking for everyone my age (51), but I wouldn't date a guy your age. Part of the lessons I learned is that most men aren't mature even when they're even 3 or 5 yrs younger than me, much less that many yrs younger. But, then, I'm not into younger guys either. Also, just speaking from personal experience but I don't see my relationship mistakes as having been too picky; they were more about not being picky enough, or being too tolerant and not walking away when I saw the red flags.

 

You do sound like a nice guy, though, and you'll probably do well finding someone. If you see yourself with a family someday, though, this is probably a bad idea at this stage in your life, or not something you want to do long-term.

[Angel1111]

Why the hell is that?

 

Why are suburbia women beat down and battered looking,

 

but women the same age from metro areas young and fresh looking?

 

Interesting point, although I've never heard it before. Maybe it's because women in the metro areas who work stay connected to the 'world' in a different sense.

[Angel1111]

ONe actually said she lied about her age, and it's none of our men's business to know what her age is...s.he said she was 35, but she was actually older, just admitted to l ying about it.

 

That's kinda getting way out there when it comes to narcissism

 

I dated a guy once who lied to me about his age. Can you believe that? A guy lying about his age. He was 42 and he said he was 39. I guess that was so that he'd fall into the 30's category. I was about 35 at the time. I should've bolted right then when I told me he lied. Narsacistic isn't the word for him. Right away, he sent me a dozen roses each week that we were together. I loved getting the flowers but I learned that, coming from him, they were a danger sign. On the 2nd date, he said he was in love with me and his face showed his incredible disappointment when I thanked him but didn't return the sentiment. It went downhill from there until I broke up with him 3 wks later. Then he began the stalking routine - sending letters to my family (numbers gotten off my phone and traced them to the address), calling me 20 times a day, cussing me out, etc. It was completely ridiculous. Like I said, narsacistic isn't the word. haha. Be careful of anyone who lies, or anyone who says their age is none of your businesss. Right off, the relationship starts out with a lie.

[Surrealist]

The worn out, saggy, used up old woman who can't find the men she wants was the pretty teenage b-tch who rejected a lot of nice guys two decades ago. Call it karma.

 

Exactly what I been saying for years. Funny how these types re-define the 'nice guy' as well once they are on the shelf in their older age.

[irc333]

Older women have baggage and issues. They're are also some of the biggest golddiggers out there. Young women often don't know how to be proper golddiggers, but by the time they reach a certain age they have it down to a science.

 

 

Yeah, I keep thinking of that TV show, "Real Housewives of LA" or some variant show.

 

We have a lot of those in the city. Female friend of mine decided to invite her COworkers with her to a kind of a social mixer along with her after work....keep in mind they were CO-workers, not really friends.

 

After hanging around the crowd, they'd come to realize there were a lot of average looking guys in the group, and they told her, "Um....we're gonna jet, there's a lot more handsome wealthy guys in <name sub-town section in the big city where more of the wealthy tend to congregate>

 

Some other people overheard what she said, and my female friend was like "I'm sorry, I don't hang out with them all the time, they're just co-workers!"

LOL

 

Apparently, they were repulsed by the selection, and I guess wanted to date guys who actually had the money to spend on hair plugs or something. LOL

 

It's kinda sad, one of them apparently bragged on her 2nd divorce she got some nice mohagany furniture out of her divorce.

[alexlakeman]

Dude, don't waste your times going that old... maybe low 40's.. max.. Wow, 50 is old, man.. at least you'll get AARP discounts when you go to IHOP with her, lol:lmao::lmao:

[irc333]

In REALITY I think I'll date no more than 45/46. I would say 45 is the oldest woman I've ever been out with for a man my age.

 

Like I said, I was just CONSIDERING older than that as a possibility.

 

 

Dude, don't waste your times going that old... maybe low 40's.. max.. Wow, 50 is old, man.. at least you'll get AARP discounts when you go to IHOP with her, lol:lmao::lmao:

[PhillyDude]

I've been through the online dating sites for women around my age range, but now....I'm trying something out, seeking out women perhaps even into their 50's (I'm 38) to see what happens.

 

Just taking a guess here, and perhaps men and women can somehow think (just a theory I'm pondering)

 

That older women do less game playing and somehow more appreciative of decent guys. I tend to agree with this, because I think women who get to a certain age, figured that in the past they dated the jerks that treated them crappy and got tired of the dating games and now can appreciate a genuine man with substance. They maybe perhaps learned their lesson and now wish to be even more realistic in their expectations and not date someone that treats them badly or with indifference?

 

Also, at least with the older women, being how I'm thin and in decent shape, I might have to opt for the older ladies that somehow look young for their age or perhaps at least have a decent figure on them (perhaps they still keep in shape in their late 40's/50's) Perhaps use the body type "Athletic" even.

 

Because I have dated an older woman, who told me she just tends to date men my age (she's 47) only because they just so happen to be as active as she is and doesn't lounge around the house like older men do (well, men her age). She had an older face (very pretty face though) , she had wrinkles (heck, even I'm getting some), gorgeous smile though....I guess she had the looks passed down to her by generations of attractive mothers/fathers. But had an arse you could bounce quarter off of, and as round as a soccer ball. LOL. I think she had breasts implants though..no biggie. But they looked nice.

 

There was this one woman that showed up in my search , early or mid 50's....I almost SWORE she was MY AGE, by looking at her intial glance...even her FACE looked young. (Typically, older people always age in their face and hands, you can't really do anything much about a face, but share had very little crows feet...that's a genetic thing there I would think).

 

 

Are there any older women here that concur? Guys, is there some validity to this?

 

 

So basically you are giving up?

[jerbear]

Dude, don't waste your times going that old... maybe low 40's.. max.. Wow, 50 is old, man.. at least you'll get AARP discounts when you go to IHOP with her, lol:lmao::lmao:

 

Don't forget hotel room discounts, for those discreet relationships.

[Cee]

I'm 40, but look 30. Doesn't seem to matter to 40 something men. They'd rather date a 30 year old who looks older for her age.

 

Or maybe I'm fooling myself. Maybe I am 40 year old who looks like 30 year old rock troll.

 

If somebody figures out the formula to this dating at 40 clusterf*ck, let me know. In the meantime, I'll sit this out and let y'all experiment out there.

[Surrealist]

I'm 40, but look 30. Doesn't seem to matter to 40 something men. They'd rather date a 30 year old who looks older for her age.

 

Or maybe I'm fooling myself. Maybe I am 40 year old who looks like 30 year old rock troll.

 

If somebody figures out the formula to this dating at 40 clusterf*ck, let me know. In the meantime, I'll sit this out and let y'all experiment out there.

 

Do you have any pics?

[OpenBook]

That older women do less game playing and somehow more appreciative of decent guys. I tend to agree with this, because I think women who get to a certain age, figured that in the past they dated the jerks that treated them crappy and got tired of the dating games and now can appreciate a genuine man with substance. They maybe perhaps learned their lesson and now wish to be even more realistic in their expectations and not date someone that treats them badly or with indifference?

 

No, it's not that complicated. First of all, anyone who "treats us badly or with indifference" won't get past the first 5 seconds of talking to us, much less going out on a date. (One of the many advantages of being older; you don't have any more time to waste on crap like that.)

 

IME, younger guys are happy to be around a woman who doesn't put a lot of pressure on them. Their female counterparts tend to be more strict on the "measuring-up" yardstick, sizing up candidates for marriage/family - and well they should! But many of these young men seem to be weary (or wary) of that, as it's not part of their goals (yet).

 

And as for me, well, they are a lot of fun to be around! I know it's not going to be a lasting thing, but no man has ever been a lasting thing at any stage in my life anyway (beyond a handful of years). And younger guys are totally cool with my financial/emotional independence - they kinda dig it actually.

 

Because I have dated an older woman, who told me she just tends to date men my age (she's 47) only because they just so happen to be as active as she is and doesn't lounge around the house like older men do (well, men her age).

 

This is true. Older men are looking for somebody to take care of them. They are slowing down, while me and my GF's are just getting started! We're definitely not on the same wavelength there.

[Mad Max]

I'm 40, but look 30. Doesn't seem to matter to 40 something men. They'd rather date a 30 year old who looks older for her age.

 

Or maybe I'm fooling myself. Maybe I am 40 year old who looks like 30 year old rock troll.

 

If somebody figures out the formula to this dating at 40 clusterf*ck, let me know. In the meantime, I'll sit this out and let y'all experiment out there.

 

 

40 is the new 20. Honestly, I'm considering older women myself. Most of the women my age seem to be too immature and sleep around.

[spiderowl]

Well, this is an interesting post. I wonder what happened when you searched for women your own age?

 

I'm an older woman and I've been approached by younger men quite a lot. I have a young-looking skin so I get the "wow, I didn't realise you were that age"-type comments. I should feel flattered, perhaps, but I don't. There probably are some younger men who are genuinely looking for a more mature relationship. I've talked to some very intelligent men who seem genuine but I have to say, I don't trust them. What they are looking for is all about their needs, not mine. I get the impression that younger men are looking for reliable sex with a woman who appreciates them who will also care for them, and who isn't too changeable or unpredictable. She also won't make any demands because she's self-sufficient. She usually has her own income or home and so won't expect anything materially either. Perfect!

 

Well, strangely enough, that might not be what an older woman is looking for. OK, so you find an older woman who fits your bill of still being sexually attractive (she looks young for her age ... so you don't want someone who looks her natural age?). What kind of relationship have you got in mind? Are you thinking long-term or just until you find the younger woman you wanted previously?

 

What are you bringing to this mature woman other than youth, physical fitness and sex? Young men seem to think this is all an older woman would want. Really? What about the emotional age-gap and experience gap? Don't you think she'd be conscious of that, even if you weren't? Young men seem to think a woman will enjoy sharing her 'experience' (especially sexual experience) with him and will be caring. Idealising somewhat, she'll be kind rather than critical. These are rather a lot of assumptions. There is also another assumption which I think is the major driver of why young men approach older women, they assume that she will welcome his advances, nay even be desperate as she probably isn't getting much interest from men. Guys assume there's not so much chance of rejection.

 

Actually, older women need more than to look after a young man who thinks he's special because he's young and fit. We need emotional connection, someone strong who will be there for us, empathy, and a feeling that this guy wants to know us as person and stick around in the future. Having talked to younger guys, I've found very little of all this. They haven't thought ahead at all. I suspect they are driven mostly by sexual frustration and a feeling that this is a way forward, if only temporary, until their young woman comes along.

 

So if an older woman is just interested in sex, they why not get involved with a younger man? If she wants a relationship, then there are plenty of good reasons not to get involved with a younger man. It will almost certainly lead to disappontment in the long run.

Edited October 11, 2010 by spiderowl

[OliveOyl]

Interesting topic.

 

I'm in my late 40s, and when I get back into the dating scene, what I will be looking for is considerably different than 20 years ago. I will not be looking for a man to take care of me financially at all. Not that I'm financially well off... it's more that I really could care less.

 

I will also not be looking for the "high value" factors such as him having a great, high-profile job or material things. Been there, done that, had the big house, mini-van, 2-kid + dog family in surburbia... and what I learned was that that lifestyle was very depressing to me. Spending the majority of my time maintaining "things" is not my personal bliss.

 

Personality, stability, a reasonable level of attractiveness, and physical chemistry. That's what will matter. Having him impress the friends & family... won't matter at all.

[irc333]

This is true. Older men are looking for somebody to take care of them. They are slowing down, while me and my GF's are just getting started! We're definitely not on the same wavelength there.

 

Funny story about the "older" woman I went out, gorgeous and great figure for her age.

 

She mentioned she has a 19 year old daughter that's a straight A student going to a University, is also a Hooter's waitress. lol...apparently, she walked into that place, no interview needed , they hired her on the spot. Proud of her actually. Brains and beauty, great combo.

 

The guy her daughter is dating is actually kind of a mousy, nerdy guy (guess why the mom liked me, lol)

 

Anyhow, if you were to see the daughter and mother together, the daughter is a gorgoues platinum blonde with a great body just like her mother, I saw a pic of the two of them together, with beaming smiles....you could probably use the "Is that you're older sister?" line with her. LOL One of those "hip" moms.

 

I have to say, I don't date much, but when I do date, seems karma makes up for it with gorgeous women. lol