kdark Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 P8 to 3 is not the most promising ratio. Most women did not feeling inclined to talk about what they feel responsible in a relationship for and instead opting to talk about something else. Your idea of the perfect women seems more like a harem slave than an actual partner for life. If things don't work out with your gf, you could always just pull a Woody Allen and find yourself another Soon-yi Previn.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Well, it's a good thing that I'm not looking to date you. I'm done with power plays, and men trying to control me. (I'm neither subservient nor domineering - I was talking about having/wanting a mutually loving relationship.) The OP didn't have to point out that he had decided to never date American/caucasian women again... I wondered why he was asking, since he has already declared us to be broken, and alluded to the fact that our answers wouldn't change his mind. I don't feel a need to fix his attitude - an attitude that could reinforce some women's negative attitudes about men like him. Here is the deal. If you focus on crap like that, you will literally force your relationship to suck. Stop thinking that relationships are a power struggle. the more you obsess over it the more likely you are to make it an issue. Instead just do what you feel like doing. Don't worry if your too dominant or too subservient... just be yourself. It's true you don't owe OP anything, and he comes off as a creep sometimes. A quality person comes from a place of understanding and compassion. It's worth it to rise above. P Your idea of the perfect women seems more like a harem slave than an actual partner for life. If things don't work out with your gf, you could always just pull a Woody Allen and find yourself another Soon-yi Previn. Not only are you way off and wrong, but your flat out rude! Nice racist innuendo too!
BruceLeroy Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 The answer to your question is simple. He hasn't had pleasant experiences with the women he is asking... that is clear. He asks a question that is partly statement of that frustration. You r fitting him with the excuses you defend yourself with. YOU haven't had pleasant experences. THIS GUY hasn't had any experiences. No GF or sex ever. He got lots of threads that make THAT clear. Not having experiences one way or the other means he doesn't have your reason to feel justified. He is just frustrates and looking for a target (the ladies). So why r you defending him with your experiences? All he going to get out of it is a reason to just stop trying and be angry dude. He need to figure out what it is about him that keeps getting the same result. Seems to me he thinks he is ugly. Ugly and angry. Now thats a winning combo yeah? I met a couple guys like this around campus. Chicks are a puzzle. they see guys who have better luck and shadow them trying to figure it out. It seems they more into the dude they shadow and being like him than really being about some chick. Woman is to have, a status thing to impress the guys they wish they were more like. Its wierd to see so maybe I'm not explaining it well. How to keep is not the goal. The getting and making sure others are aware is what its about.
stillafool Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 My question was genuine. What is the point in responding, if he isn't interested in the very women he's asking about? Are we supposed to convince him that we're worth it? Why? I know my role in a relationship, and it's neither subservient or domineering. I read your question as being genuine as well. I was wondering the same thing as I read OP's first post. What is this obsession with American women anyway? It does seem if men don't like them why even mention them? There are so so many other women to chose from.
kdark Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Not only are you way off and wrong, but your flat out rude! Nice racist innuendo too! I'm just calling them like I see them. You seem like a guy who wants a woman to be subservient to him, provide sex willingly whenever the man wants it, and to ensure that she looks good for him at all times as well. That sounds like a harem slave to me. And what is racist about what I said? The fact that Soon-Yi Previn is Korean has nothing to do with what I was referring to. What I was referring to is the fact that Woody Allen married his step daughter who is 34 years younger than him in order to have a young, subservient wife.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 You r fitting him with the excuses you defend yourself with. YOU haven't had pleasant experences. THIS GUY hasn't had any experiences. No GF or sex ever. He got lots of threads that make THAT clear. Not having experiences one way or the other means he doesn't have your reason to feel justified. He is just frustrates and looking for a target (the ladies). So why r you defending him with your experiences? All he going to get out of it is a reason to just stop trying and be angry dude. He need to figure out what it is about him that keeps getting the same result. Seems to me he thinks he is ugly. Ugly and angry. Now thats a winning combo yeah? I met a couple guys like this around campus. Chicks are a puzzle. they see guys who have better luck and shadow them trying to figure it out. It seems they more into the dude they shadow and being like him than really being about some chick. Woman is to have, a status thing to impress the guys they wish they were more like. Its wierd to see so maybe I'm not explaining it well. How to keep is not the goal. The getting and making sure others are aware is what its about. 100% Rejection is a bad experience. I don't understand how you can miss that. As for how I feel personally. I think if we just made the divorce laws fair in this country I wouldn't have an issue. If one woman sucked I'd easily find another. I don't see why I should be forced to pay money because I believed a liar. Frauds are thrown in jail everywhere else... but here we give them more power and privilege. Maybe it says more about who are are as men. A nation of chumps. As for OP... You don't know him any better than I do in real life. In terms of the attitude towards women... even guys who are wildly successful at getting laid often have the same attitude. What I see here doesn't make me think it's one way or the other.
BruceLeroy Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 100% Rejection is a bad experience. I don't understand how you can miss that. As for how I feel personally. I think if we just made the divorce laws fair in this country I wouldn't have an issue. If one woman sucked I'd easily find another. I don't see why I should be forced to pay money because I believed a liar. Frauds are thrown in jail everywhere else... but here we give them more power and privilege. Maybe it says more about who are are as men. A nation of chumps. As for OP... You don't know him any better than I do in real life. In terms of the attitude towards women... even guys who are wildly successful at getting laid often have the same attitude. What I see here doesn't make me think it's one way or the other. Rejection of a part of life for everyone and not just in dating. Big ol friggin boohoo over rejection by chicks when you might not get picked for the team or the role or the school or the job, or the house or damn near anything anyone want to do. Rejection by a chick is light stuff and they don't know ya well enough to even really be rejecting you when they don't even know you. THIS guy got no bad relationship experience to say how any chick of any region will be like to date. he has no first hand know how. But as you do in every thread like this, you come in and write their story for em with your crap marriage and like that cahil guy said yer bad people picker. Like a vegan muslim talking about how horrible pork tastes when they've never eaten it just so they believe even more intently that pork is horrible. Now pat him on the head UF and tell him he is right.
Anela Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 (edited) Here is the deal. If you focus on crap like that, you will literally force your relationship to suck. Stop thinking that relationships are a power struggle. the more you obsess over it the more likely you are to make it an issue. Instead just do what you feel like doing. Don't worry if your too dominant or too subservient... just be yourself. It's true you don't owe OP anything, and he comes off as a creep sometimes. A quality person comes from a place of understanding and compassion. It's worth it to rise above. If you're actually trying to help me, then thank you, but I don't usually see myself in that way, and I don't look at relationships that way - I've just dealt with someone that I was emotionally invested in, messing with my head, trying to control me... and I did the compassion and rise above with *him* when we were friends, made all kinds of excuses for him. I wish the OP luck in finding the relationship of his dreams, but at the moment, I'm in no mood to rise above - especially since I didn't attack him in the first place, I only asked a question. I'm in a bad mood right now - I shouldn't be here. Edited October 12, 2010 by Anela
Anela Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 I read your question as being genuine as well. I was wondering the same thing as I read OP's first post. What is this obsession with American women anyway? It does seem if men don't like them why even mention them? There are so so many other women to chose from. Thank you, stillafool. I don't understand it either.
BobSacamento Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 Well I'm sure there are many things a women brings to the table but one that stands out to me is this: There are things you talk to your friends about. There are things you can talk to your family about. The things you can't talk to those two sets of people about I think are the things a SO can give you advice about. Because I'll be honest I can somewhat phony to my friends and I can be somewhat phony to my family. With my Gfs I feel like I can truly be honest and myself.
sartrelazyeye Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 No. Ive already decided not to date America (Caucasian) women. Im just wondering if my assumptions regarding them are mostly and/or somewhat true? You're ****ing weird. What, did you have a bad experience or something?
BWLoca Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Do MOST (not all) American women have any expectations for their side of the relationship? I know the guy has to pay usually, initiate all contact, protect the girl, be a gentleman around her, help her out, etc. But since feminism it seems like traditional roles for women such as be ladylike around the guy, make sure he is happy, look pretty, help him out when he asks, etc. are no longer important for many women. What do you think the woman's role in a relationship should be? And do you concur with my statement above? I don't really think it's feminism so much as it's just that times are a-changin'. Sure, if all I had to do was sit around the house, these things would be easy. But on top of it, I have to go to work, school, pay bills, etc... I also think women's expectations have changed as well. But every woman is different... I feel my role in my relationship is to make him feel like he's special to me. For him, that doesn't mean dressing up all the time...
Mellisa Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I'm interested to know guys opinions on this!
saragomez201 Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 It all starts in the early childhood. Girls play dolls, marrying them, creating toy families; they play in mothers and daughters. Later girls start to dream of a beautiful white bride’s dress; they’re trying to catch the bouquet on the weddings of their elder relatives and friends. Their favorite topic for discussion are boys, they imagine a magnificent first date, a romantic first kiss, a perfect boyfriend, an ideal husband and a happy family. Girls fall in love for the first time, and there starts the saga named “women and relationships”. Each girl thinks that she’s the unique one, the happiest or the most miserable. It doesn’t matter in fact, because love stories repeat the same scripts for every woman. Girls fall in and out of love, change boyfriends, making the same mistakes, blame it all on men. When a woman starts new relationships with a man, she seems to play the main role. Men are obsessed with passionate attempts to get aquatinted with an object of adoration, but in course of time female happens to get too much attached to a partner, complaining of his not giving flowers or paying that tender attention anymore. A man has finally won his woman - she’s calling him everyday; turning for help, advice and understanding; she’s asking in a weepy voice “don’t you love me anymore?” - so does he still have to claim his individual property? His own logic says he doesn’t. Women and their relationships are the great encyclopedia of mistakes. Women tend to forget that the less they show their affection, the more they are appreciated by their second halves.
Titania22 Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 If I ever agree to having another relationship, I expect to love the man with all my heart, which means he is free to come and go as he chooses, he can be friends with whomever he chooses, he can spend his time however he chooses. I will be sexy, desireable and flirtatious. I want to have sex with him as often as I can, and I want to instigate it. I will share my wisdom, only when he asks for it. And I will completely appreciate everything little thing he does for me. I will encourage him to follow his dreams, even if it results in the end of the relationship. And I will 'get' him (i.e. understand where he is coming from), because that is what I do. Why will I do all this? Because we are not here to control and confine the people that cross our paths. We are here to enjoy the interaction as long as it lasts. Will I do all that long term? Possibly not with the same effort as at the start. But who knows? I have seen myself work harder than I thought I was capable of, because I didn't want to disappoint the man I loved. Ultimately what I will bring is unconditional love.
waynebrady Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I don't really think it's feminism so much as it's just that times are a-changin'. Sure, if all I had to do was sit around the house, these things would be easy. But on top of it, I have to go to work, school, pay bills, etc... I also think women's expectations have changed as well. But every woman is different... I feel my role in my relationship is to make him feel like he's special to me. For him, that doesn't mean dressing up all the time... Men have to go to work, school and pay bills and all that to yet it's still us who have to put in all the effort and take all the initiatives in relationships.
Titania22 Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Men have to go to work, school and pay bills and all that to yet it's still us who have to put in all the effort and take all the initiatives in relationships. not always. In my last relationship, I paid all the bills and fed and clothed my boyfriends kids as well as him. In addition to that, he withheld sex for the last 12months of the relationship. I also have girlfriends who have financially supported men in LTRs and marriages. What you said may have been typical in the past, but nowadays it can go either way.
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