What do I do :(

[wind.dancer]

I was recently broken up with by my ex boyfriend whom I dated for about 8 months. I really really want him back but he has become such a *******. What went wrong with our relationship is that I did not give him (according to him) the attention and care he deserved. I even broke up with him a couple of times over stupid things. I know I wasn't th ebest girlfriend but it's because I came out of a really rough relationship before him. I wasn't looking for anything when he came along and kind of just jumped into it. And he knew that when he asked me out. He promised he'd take things slow. But within the first month, he was showering me with tons of gifts and was already overprotective. He told me he loved me within a few months and that scared me a lot. A LOT. He asked me when I used to say it to my exes and I said well when I felt it. And he always used to ask me if I was serious about things. I woudl say I don't know anything at all right now, I mean for now I am dating you and happy.

 

From the start, I've always had a lot of guy friends and there was one friend that pissed him off in particular. After we broke up, he started telling people that this guy friend was my ex boyfriend and that I had cheated on him with him. But I did not especially because my friend is in Cali and I am in NY. He also just thought I didn't care about him because I refused to PDA, put anything up as my relationship status on fb, or our picture as our profile picture. I am just not a public person. Well, things came crashing during the summer when I got a job and was always super busy. I rarely could talk to him. There were a lot of times where he would text and I went a long time without responding but I told him about my schedule. This was also the time where he was goin through a lot of stuff at home and I assume he felt like he couldn't come to me or that I just wasn't there for him. Before the summer began, I used to seem him every day which is why things were going really well. Well in late June he just decided it was better for him to stop talking to him so he did so without contacting me and letting me know. I was so confused when I recieved a text saying that I don't want to ever speak to you and it's over.

 

I was so sad and became crazy with the idea of finding out what exactly went wrong. I called him, his friends, and even went to see him but he just didn't want to talk. Instead he would be a serious dick and not explain himself. Then one night he picked up and told me that he was interested in this other girl and that he was happy. With clenched teeth, I told him that I was happy for him and that it would be great if we could be friends. I mean I couldn't beg for him back when I didn't even treat him well. I cried and cried a lot after that phonecall. That's when his girl of interest called me and told me that she felt it was better if me and him weren't friends only because he loved me a lot and that she just didn't want him to talk to me. I again just said I would stop talkin to him and wished them the best. He eventually contacted me, asking for his things back. A few weeks later and that's how we started slightly talking again.

 

He told me that his new girl girl had basically told him that she loved him and how he was just using her to get over me. Inside I was ecstatic but I just managed to make casual conversation and hang up. So he basically doens't believe in relationships anymore. I know that he still misses me but is doing all he can to make sure he never gets back in a relationship with me. He'll curse me out, use my private conversations with him against me, use my weaknesses against me, and mention girls he is meeting. The other night he asked me why I still talk to him? And I said because it makes me smile. And he said, "Why do you always make me sad" and hung up. He doesn't want anything back but I can't seem to just let go. I've been trying really hard to move on but I just get reeled back in. Just last night he mentioned how he met some girl on the train and got her number and was "nervous" about starting over with with this new girl. I said that he should try to go for her and he said he will. He then asks me about my love life. And I told him that I just am not looking for anything and looking for something seirous. Because I really am. And he chuckled saying, "you and serious?" and it ended up in an argument where he just hung up. I texted him saying sorry about aruging but he didnt respond. I can't convince him that I've changed but even when I try to, he doesn't buy it. Like I told him how my friend from Cali got a gf and he doesn't at all believe me. He just hates my guts. I don't know what to do anymore. I know wasn't the best gf because I have trust issues but that was something i made so very clear from the beginning. That I needed to take it slow. I don't know what to do to win him back. :'(

Edited October 10, 2010 by wind.dancer

[Trovador]

The usual story. Guy meets girl. Guy lose his head. Girl gets scared. Guy pulls away. Girl gets needy. Guy walks away.

 

Sorry I can't give you my unbiased opinion, because I identify a lot with your ex. It reminds me of an ex and her "special friend" whom she went out and talked a lot, despite my protests. Once, I learnt they had gone to lunch together and I got mad. I broke up with her and never talked to her again. I don't know why women take this so lightly, when, usually is an issue with most guys IMO...

 

You should move on, if only because it seems he is doing so...