johnuy123 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I'm not sure for sure what to say or what reaction I'll get, but I'm interested in feedback and different peoples opinions. So here's a little bit of my story: I've known I was gay since I was about 13 years old, but have also been raised as a Christian and have questioned my beliefs but now firmly believe in God. For a long time I tried to change myself and live straight. This just masked my feelings though, and the fact that I am attracted to guys never changed. I tried one relationship with a girl, and though she was very nice we just didn't have that chemistry that a normal couple should have. I've always been more of an introvert and shy and I tried to live out my faith so I was ok being single and not pursuing a relationship. But, then I met a guy online and we started emailing back and forth talking about life and everything. Pretty soon I developed serious feelings for him which really put me into a crisis. I believe that homosexual acts are wrong, but with this attraction for this guy I now am struggling with a serious question. Is a relationship with someone of the same sex morally acceptable if it's based on love? I consider myself a "nice guy" and I am truly trying to reconcile my feelings with my beliefs. I'm open minded so I'm trying to gain more insight by seeing what others have to say. What are your opinions and reasoning behind your opinions?
PhoenixLady Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 You know who you are. You know you're a good person. God made you the way you are, accept it. From what I understand, nowhere in the bible does it say that homosexuality is a sin. I think living a lie would be the bigger sin. Be who you are and embrace it. You can still be a good "christian" or Jew or whatever you follow.
wuggle Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 ...I believe that homosexual acts are wrong, but with this attraction for this guy I now am struggling with a serious question. Is a relationship with someone of the same sex morally acceptable if it's based on love? Why would your God make you feel like this ?
OpenBook Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I believe that homosexual acts are wrong, but with this attraction for this guy I now am struggling with a serious question. Is a relationship with someone of the same sex morally acceptable if it's based on love? I consider myself a "nice guy" and I am truly trying to reconcile my feelings with my beliefs. I'm open minded so I'm trying to gain more insight by seeing what others have to say. What are your opinions and reasoning behind your opinions? I'm a Christian, and though I do not understand homosexuality personally, I am puzzled why it is almost universally condemned in the Christian community. When trying to determine my own approach to morally ambiguous situations, I always ask: "What would Jesus do?" And in this case, I cannot imagine Him condemning gay/lesbian people. I just can't get it done in my own mind. Even though I'm squeamish about the whole concept and consider it unnatural, I can't bring myself to condemn it - simply because the Jesus I know wouldn't do it. You've got a tough road to travel on this one, johnuy. May I suggest a lot of prayer about this, and holding on tightly to His hand... rather than going by others' personal take on it. They've already formed their own conclusions about it; you must do the same for yourself.
In The Green Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I'm not going to tell you what to do regarding your sexual orientation. You are a sovereign being and that is for you to decide. I would remind you of something however. All things boil down to love and fear. Every state you are in and belief you have exists somewhere on a scale between the two. I would imagine God would rather you love it rather than be in fear, for in the state of love you are shining and of benefit to all. In fear, your energy constricts, you are concerned with the self and preservation instincts. Worst of all you destroy your being little by little. You didn't see Christ invalidating himself or change himself to suit the others. Does this particular faith help you to be in a loving state or does it hinder you? That is for you to decide. There are many pathways to God. And it is no ones business on how you choose to connect.
Scottdmw Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 It is a difficult situation. You have to understand for yourself what God’s will for you it is. But, here are some things I would think about. I have my own bias, as does everybody on this board, but I will try to stay as objective as possible. First, completely outside the context of homosexual relations, how reliable are romantic feelings and emotions as guides to actions? That is, do they always lead to happiness, or sometimes not? I think it's clear that sometimes they lead people to make bad decisions. An easy example is the married heterosexual with four children and a good spouse who develops feelings for someone else, and cheats. The feelings are real, but that doesn't mean that following them is a good thing in that case. In a case like that, following the feelings will probably lead to short-term gratification at the cost of seriously messing up several people’s lives. The short-term gain is not worth the long-term loss. I make that point because our culture usually assumes that feelings of romantic love are always good and should always be followed. It is a big cultural blind spot. It is for you to decide whether your situation is like that, or not. The next question is, what do you believe is the purpose of sexual love? Or, if it has more than one purpose, what is the most important purpose? Some people would say that its purpose is to make them happy and provide pleasure. If that is true, it follows that a person should sleep with whoever they feel like. I personally believe that the two purposes of sexual love are having children and bonding between spouses. I think that is what it is “for”, designed that way by God, and that people who use it for a different purpose end up less happy than they would have been. I really do believe that, and as a heterosexual male I have turned down at least a couple of offers of sexual relationships with attractive women when I thought it wouldn't be right. If that seems ridiculous, consider an analogy with eating. Eating is also pleasurable. Yet, it's fairly easy for everyone to understand that the purpose of eating is sustenance for the body. Anyone who eats beyond that need simply because of the pleasure is going to hurt their health. Not right away and not all the time, but the more you get away from the real purpose the more you run the risk of obesity and heart disease. These questions get at the “positives and negatives” you would face if you entered the relationship you are considering. Some people believe that homosexuality exists as a “spectrum”, all the way from 100% straight to 100% gay, with bi in the middle. If that is true, you might try to figure out where you fall on that line. It might very well be true that you are all the way to the gay end, and really have no realistic prospects of ever having a relationship with a woman. However, it is also at least possible that you are only partly in that direction, and that with the right woman you could actually have a good relationship. Personally speaking I am pretty much straight, but it still took me until I was 30 years old to really find a woman I clicked with well. A danger there is obviously that you could pressure yourself into doing such a thing, only to realize later it was a mistake. You would not want to be married to a woman down the line only to realize it wasn't right and leave her. On the other hand, it is also true that some people out there claim that it is possible for a person to move their position on the “spectrum”. . . somewhat. Not all the way from one end to the other, but part of the way. Maybe they are fooling themselves, or maybe they are right. I do think that this whole point of view gets extremely heavily suppressed in our culture right now. It is to the point where anyone who talks about this is often branded a homophobe and shouted into silence. I have never really understood why people are so willing to believe that it's impossible to change, and so unwilling to believe that it is possible. Someone will say that they tried and failed, and everyone believes that it must be impossible not only for that person but for everyone else. It seems to me like a very strong bias. Anyway, this is something you would have to figure out the truth for yourself. If any of that is true, then one risk you would run by having a relationship with a man is you might actually shift yourself farther toward the gay end of the spectrum. I personally believe that people can become sexually turned on by just about anything if they experience enough orgasms associated with it. That is simple Pavlovian conditioning. So, if you do have any realistic chance of having a good relationship with a woman, you might actually lose that if you had a relationship with a man. If that is the case, and again you would have to figure that out for yourself, along with losing out on the possibility of a relationship with a woman you also lose out on the possibility of having children and family, at least your own children. On the other hand, this may not be a realistic possibility for you at all. You probably couldn't be sure either way without spending quite a lot of time trying, and investigating a lot of things. If that turned out to be true, then your only choices are relationships with men or celibacy. I'm sure that almost everyone on this board would claim that celibacy is not a good or realistic option. However, I will mention that I personally know people who have made the decision to be lifelong celibates for religious reasons, and they seem to me to be just as happy if not more so as other people. Sexual relationships bring a lot of joy and pleasure, but anyone should admit that they can also cause a lot of heart ache and missing out on them is not necessarily only a bad thing. It is medically true that males who have anal sex with males have a high rate of certain infectious diseases. You can find that on the website of the Center for Disease Control. Something to keep in mind as you make your decision. At the end of the day you are going to have to make that decision. I wish you the best at it, and I sympathize. It is not I think an easy situation. Best wishes, Scott
TaraMaiden Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 That's one of the most biased 'unbiased' posts I've ever read. One of the side-effects of sex is procreation. if this was a given rule, every heterosexual couple who had sex, intending to conceive, would have an easier time of it. Sexual intercourse with a guaranteed pregnancy, is not a god-given guaranteed right. Therefore, that argument holds no water. The OP stated that he has known, since he was 13, that he is homosexual. Making himself question his sexuality, and whether he is completely near the gay end of the scale, is exactly the same as asking you whether in fact, you are heterosexual. Are you sure? Isn't there a little bit of you that thinks, perhaps you might not be? Why not try to enter into a relationship with another man, and see how you feel? remaining exclusively heterosexual, might be denying yourself the true expression of your sexuality..... let's look at your post again, in a different light.... Scott, Some people believe that heterosexuality exists as a “spectrum”, all the way from 100% straight to 100% gay, with bi in the middle. If that is true, you might try to figure out where you fall on that line. It might very well be true that you are all the way to the hetero end, and really have no realistic prospects of ever having a relationship with a man. However, it is also at least possible that you are only partly in that direction, and that with the right man you could actually have a good relationship. ..... A danger there is obviously that you could pressure yourself into doing such a thing, only to realize later it was a mistake. You would not want to be in a civil partnership with a man down the line only to realize it wasn't right and leave him. On the other hand, it is also true that some people out there claim that it is possible for a person to move their position on the “spectrum”. . . somewhat. Not all the way from one end to the other, but part of the way. Maybe they are fooling themselves, or maybe they are right. I do think that this whole point of view gets extremely heavily suppressed in our culture right now. It is to the point where anyone who talks about this is often branded a heterophobe and shouted into silence. I have never really understood why people are so willing to believe that it's impossible to change, and so unwilling to believe that it is possible. Someone will say that they tried and failed, and everyone believes that it must be impossible not only for that person but for everyone else. It seems to me like a very strong bias. Anyway, this is something you would have to figure out the truth for yourself. If any of that is true, then one risk you would run by having a relationship with a woman is you might actually shift yourself farther toward the hetero end of the spectrum. I personally believe that people can become sexually turned on by just about anything if they experience enough orgasms associated with it. That is simple Pavlovian conditioning. So, if you do have any realistic chance of having a good relationship with a man, you might actually lose that if you had a relationship with a woman. If that is the case, and again you would have to figure that out for yourself, along with losing out on the possibility of a relationship with a man you also gain the possibility of having children and family, at least your own children. Which actually, as a gay man, is still possible. On the other hand, this may not be a realistic possibility for you at all. You probably couldn't be sure either way without spending quite a lot of time trying, and investigating a lot of things. If that turned out to be true, then your only choices are relationships with women or celibacy. I'm sure that almost everyone on this board would claim that celibacy is not a good or realistic option. However, I will mention that I personally know people who have made the decision to be lifelong celibates for religious reasons, and they seem to me to be just as happy if not more so as other people. Sexual relationships bring a lot of joy and pleasure, but anyone should admit that they can also cause a lot of heart ache and missing out on them is not necessarily only a bad thing. We have no choice but to eat food. Whether it is in excess, or a restrictive diet, is immaterial. Comparing it to sex is a smoke and mirrors argument. First of all, food is all we get. There is no 'alternative' food. secondly, it is just as easy to succumb to excess and debauchery whatever one's persuasion. It is medically true that males who have anal sex with males have a high rate of certain infectious diseases. You can find that on the website of the Center for Disease Control. Something to keep in mind as you make your decision. It is equally true that sexually transmitted diseases exist in heterosexual circles. Nobody is immune from STD's. This is unnecessary scaremongering. Safe sex is safe sex. whatever the 'variety'.
Stung Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 OP, I am of the opinion that love is love. I am not a Christian, but I have gay friends who are, who moved to more accepting, liberal areas and found churches who accepted them with open arms. There are anti-homosexual references in the Bible, but the Bible also takes a stand against shrimp. I don't think it's wrong to eat shrimp. With all due respect--and I do believe the Bible has some good lessons to teach--the source is extremely dated. Many churches these days do take a more modern approach to the interpretation, although they may be hard to find in your area. Perhaps finding/corresponding with such a church would be a good research project for you. I am glad you have stopped trying to force yourself to be someone you are not, and I hope you will learn to embrace yourself fully in the future, and find love and fulfillment.
Scottdmw Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 One of the side-effects of sex is procreation. if this was a given rule, every heterosexual couple who had sex, intending to conceive, would have an easier time of it. Sexual intercourse with a guaranteed pregnancy, is not a god-given guaranteed right. Therefore, that argument holds no water. I said that it was my belief procreation is one of the purposes of sex, which I hardly think is that startling. The OP stated he is a Christian, so it's obvious that he is at least looking for these kinds of points of view. I didn't offer it as an argument and I don't think he is interested in hearing the two of us debate it. If you really want to, I would invite you to send me a personal message or create a separate thread. The OP stated that he has known, since he was 13, that he is homosexual. Making himself question his sexuality, and whether he is completely near the gay end of the scale, is exactly the same as asking you whether in fact, you are heterosexual. Are you sure? Isn't there a little bit of you that thinks, perhaps you might not be? Why not try to enter into a relationship with another man, and see how you feel? remaining exclusively heterosexual, might be denying yourself the true expression of your sexuality..... let's look at your post again, in a different light.... If I was on a message for asking for advice on this topic, it might be appropriate to suggest I question my sexuality. Why are you bringing it up? How is it helping the OP? He asked for advice and opinions on this specific topic. There are plenty of replies here stating he should just be gay and accept that. That is the message he will hear almost everywhere he goes also, it is practically a deafening propaganda storm in the media. Why do you consider it so out of place that someone might question that? Remember, the OP is looking for advice from both sides. What's wrong with that? We have no choice but to eat food. Whether it is in excess, or a restrictive diet, is immaterial. Comparing it to sex is a smoke and mirrors argument. First of all, food is all we get. There is no 'alternative' food. secondly, it is just as easy to succumb to excess and debauchery whatever one's persuasion. Why do you want to argue with me? Again, I'm trying to offer the OP on alternative point of view which he will not get from others. If he believes my analogy is not useful, he won't use it. If he himself wants to discuss the aptness of my analogy that would be different. It is equally true that sexually transmitted diseases exist in heterosexual circles. Nobody is immune from STD's. This is unnecessary scaremongering. Safe sex is safe sex. whatever the 'variety'. Here's a quote from the CDC: “Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (MSM)1 represent approximately 2% of the US population, yet are the population most severely affected by HIV and are the only risk group in which new HIV infections have been increasing steadily since the early 1990s. In 2006, MSM accounted for more than half (53%) of all new HIV infections in the United States, and MSM with a history of injection drug use (MSM-IDU) accounted for an additional 4% of new infections. At the end of 2006, more than half (53%) of all people living with HIV in the United States were MSM or MSM-IDU. Since the beginning of the US epidemic, MSM have consistently represented the largest percentage of persons diagnosed with AIDS and persons with an AIDS diagnosis who have died.” So, you're right, some heterosexuals get STDs also. But, among the MSM population than risk is many times higher. Massive safe sex education campaigns over 2 decades have entirely failed to prevent this and can not be expected to in the future. Equating with the heterosexual case is not at all supported by the data. Why do you have a problem with giving the OP the facts and letting him make his own decision? He is making an extremely important decision that will affect the rest of his life. It seems to me like the truly caring thing to do is to give him accurate information.
TaraMaiden Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 If I was on a message for asking for advice on this topic, it might be appropriate to suggest I question my sexuality. Why are you bringing it up? How is it helping the OP? He asked for advice and opinions on this specific topic. There are two sides to everything. I'm showing him - and you - that your advice works just as easily looking at it from the opposite PoV. There are plenty of replies here stating he should just be gay and accept that. That is the message he will hear almost everywhere he goes also, it is practically a deafening propaganda storm in the media. Why do you consider it so out of place that someone might question that? Remember, the OP is looking for advice from both sides. What's wrong with that? I'm giving the other side. You're convinced he should be open to accepting that maybe he's mistaken about his sexuality. I'm Convinced he should be equally open to accepting that actually, his own evaluation of his sexuality, is absolutely spot-on. However, under the argument you post, everybody - including you - should therefore be open to questioning their own sexuality. It follows, it's logical. What's wrong with that? Why do you want to argue with me? I don't want to argue with you at all. as I said, if you're going to give the OP an alternative in your PoV, I'm also set to show him that as anyone knows, you have to look at both sides completely equally. I'm simply providing a counter-balance opposite to to your alternative point of view. Again, I'm trying to offer the OP on alternative point of view which he will not get from others. If he believes my analogy is not useful, he won't use it. If he himself wants to discuss the aptness of my analogy that would be different. This is an advisory discussion board. All discussions are productive and help clarify matters, whichever way that goes, Just as you are at liberty to post your comments, I and many others are at liberty to respond, and clarify giving our perspective. You may feel from your side of things that you have given as impartial an opinion as you can, but I for one am not in agreement, and feel there is still strong bias in your post. I'm merely addressing matters I feel are worthy of debate..... Here's a quote from the CDC: “Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (MSM)1 represent approximately 2% of the US population, yet are the population most severely affected by HIV and are the only risk group in which new HIV infections have been increasing steadily since the early 1990s. In 2006, MSM accounted for more than half (53%) of all new HIV infections in the United States, and MSM with a history of injection drug use (MSM-IDU) accounted for an additional 4% of new infections. At the end of 2006, more than half (53%) of all people living with HIV in the United States were MSM or MSM-IDU. Since the beginning of the US epidemic, MSM have consistently represented the largest percentage of persons diagnosed with AIDS and persons with an AIDS diagnosis who have died.” So, you're right, some heterosexuals get STDs also. But, among the MSM population than risk is many times higher. Massive safe sex education campaigns over 2 decades have entirely failed to prevent this and can not be expected to in the future. Equating with the heterosexual case is not at all supported by the data. My point was that in order to guarantee prevention, while celibacy would be the safest option, in any sexual liaison, all participants must show strong responsibility for their own physical safety, health and well-being, (as well as that of others) no matter what the persuasion. Waving the "Gays are more prone to catching diseases" flag is simple scaremongering. Much more constructive to say - whatever you do decide, be sexually responsible and safe." That's unbiased. Why do you have a problem with giving the OP the facts and letting him make his own decision? because by and large, you weren't giving him 'facts', you were giving him your opinion - which is obviously slanted towards heterosexuality being the option to explore. He is making an extremely important decision that will affect the rest of his life. It seems to me like the truly caring thing to do is to give him accurate information. Accurate, unbiased, impartial and non-judgemental information. Yes. Your information did not cover quite all of those bases. In my view.
Scottdmw Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 My point was that in order to guarantee prevention, while celibacy would be the safest option, in any sexual liaison, all participants must show strong responsibility for their own physical safety, health and well-being, (as well as that of others) no matter what the persuasion. Waving the "Gays are more prone to catching diseases" flag is simple scaremongering. Much more constructive to say - whatever you do decide, be sexually responsible and safe." That's unbiased. You say that it's constructive to tell gays to “be sexually responsible and safe”. Yet, nearly everyone has been saying this very loudly to gays for two decades and their HIV rate is still skyhigh compared to heterosexuals. How can it be constructive to keep saying something that clearly doesn't work? I know you really want this to be fair, to be unbiased, and it seems like it's not fair that gays have this issue that other people don't. But, that is reality. Denying it and sweeping it under the rug is not helping anyone. There is something to be said for being alive and healthy even if a person is not able to have the kind of sex they are most drawn to. There are a lot of other good things in life. There are other things I could say to respond to your other points. But, I really don't think it's very useful to help the OP. This is supposed to be a discussion about his particular situation, not whether my particular post is more biased than yours, whether I should also be questioning my sexuality, or any of these other side issues.
D-Lish Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Pretty soon I developed serious feelings for him which really put me into a crisis. I believe that homosexual acts are wrong, but with this attraction for this guy I now am struggling with a serious question. Is a relationship with someone of the same sex morally acceptable if it's based on love? I consider myself a "nice guy" and I am truly trying to reconcile my feelings with my beliefs. I'm open minded so I'm trying to gain more insight by seeing what others have to say. Everything you've posted is a contradiction to being open minded, you do realize that right? There is a reason why so many religious groups have sprouted sects over the years- people have adapted different ways of looking at their doctrine in order to immalgamate their spirituality with their lifestyle. You can be a Christian and a homosexual in the Christian United Church- heck, you can be a gay minister in the United church. Homosexuality isn't wrong and it's not deviant behaviour. You can believe in god AND be a homosexual. Anyone that tells you otherwise is wrong on every level. Maybe you need to explore groups that will embrace your faith and your lifestyle- they are out there and they would accept you with open arms. You can have your faith and eat it too dude- so go for it.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 There's nothing in the messages of Jesus Christ about the "rightness or wrongness" of expression of love. All of the repressive moralizing about homosexuality comes from people who a) don't have such orientations b) judge EVERYONE using themselves as the standard c) don't differentiate between expression of love and acts of lust d) don't really get what Christ was about e) try to gain power uniting peers against a common foe, the hapless homo.
D-Lish Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 There's nothing in the messages of Jesus Christ about the "rightness or wrongness" of expression of love. All of the repressive moralizing about homosexuality comes from people who a) don't have such orientations b) judge EVERYONE using themselves as the standard c) don't differentiate between expression of love and acts of lust d) don't really get what Christ was about e) try to gain power uniting peers against a common foe, the hapless homo. Not to mention that the antiquated notions of what was considered acceptable during the times these passages were written... Jesus walked the earth 2000 years ago? Homosexuality was considered the norm in Greece in 491 AD when Socrates was walking the earth. Slavery was acceptable in the last century, but we'd scoff at such a notion today... Maybe it's time to update the bible? Just a thought.
D-Lish Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 I think they should abolish it entirely. It's complete damage control through and through. Here's a bit from George Carlin talking about how he would update the Ten Commandments: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzEs2nj7iZM I myself am an atheist, but I recognize the importance of many that need to reconcile faith and progress. Many religions make that difficult on people.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Not to mention that the antiquated notions of what was considered acceptable during the times these passages were written... Jesus walked the earth 2000 years ago? Homosexuality was considered the norm in Greece in 491 AD when Socrates was walking the earth. Slavery was acceptable in the last century, but we'd scoff at such a notion today... Maybe it's time to update the bible? Just a thought. Bible = catalogue of jewish-centric faith lore. Westerners call it "the" bible. Everyone else calls it "a" bible. All I know is it is nothing I wish to define myself by.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 I myself am an atheist, .... atta girl. Me too.
sartrelazyeye Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 I'm not sure for sure what to say or what reaction I'll get, but I'm interested in feedback and different peoples opinions. So here's a little bit of my story: I've known I was gay since I was about 13 years old, but have also been raised as a Christian and have questioned my beliefs but now firmly believe in God. For a long time I tried to change myself and live straight. This just masked my feelings though, and the fact that I am attracted to guys never changed. I tried one relationship with a girl, and though she was very nice we just didn't have that chemistry that a normal couple should have. I've always been more of an introvert and shy and I tried to live out my faith so I was ok being single and not pursuing a relationship. But, then I met a guy online and we started emailing back and forth talking about life and everything. Pretty soon I developed serious feelings for him which really put me into a crisis. I believe that homosexual acts are wrong, but with this attraction for this guy I now am struggling with a serious question. Is a relationship with someone of the same sex morally acceptable if it's based on love? I consider myself a "nice guy" and I am truly trying to reconcile my feelings with my beliefs. I'm open minded so I'm trying to gain more insight by seeing what others have to say. What are your opinions and reasoning behind your opinions? poooh...homosexual acts are, in no way, wrong! try therapy (hey, i'm doing it)...that's my only suggestion really. you could also message me.
luvnpain Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 No one can answer this for you. You have a journey to take to find truth, and that is the most honest thing I can tell you. I do have a few thoughts for you to ponder. Organized religion has failed on so many levels, and they do more judging and exploiting than encouraging people in their faith. Why can't they just say "Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand" and be done like Jesus did. Why didn't he name specific sins and say what to repent of? Well maybe because people don't need other people to tell them what is wrong. Deep down, we know where we are . Everyone has issues. What, if anything, to do for/about them is where we all have differing opinions. Going to people shows that you want wisdom and instruction, but you don't know if the advice is sound or right for you. Go to the source. Love has been talked about in this thread. Please distinguish between eros and agape when following advice on love. There are more than 10 commandments, but why were they even stated? They were given in Exodus, so what about Genesis and all up to that point? Those things were addressing the hearts of people and less about "walking the line" and more about a willingness of heart to consider something outside yourself as a final authority. It may be different, but try looking at Biblical text for the things that you can do, and that are commended and pleasing instead of looking for what you are forbidden to do and what is condemned. Fear and intimidation is not the atmosphere for seeking enlightenment. You want to please God in Christianity, then read your bible and pray and read it and pray. It is not an overnight thing. You will be surprised how clear things will become, and you will have peace in your decisions.
pureinheart Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 I'm not sure for sure what to say or what reaction I'll get, but I'm interested in feedback and different peoples opinions. So here's a little bit of my story: I've known I was gay since I was about 13 years old, but have also been raised as a Christian and have questioned my beliefs but now firmly believe in God. For a long time I tried to change myself and live straight. This just masked my feelings though, and the fact that I am attracted to guys never changed. I tried one relationship with a girl, and though she was very nice we just didn't have that chemistry that a normal couple should have. I've always been more of an introvert and shy and I tried to live out my faith so I was ok being single and not pursuing a relationship. But, then I met a guy online and we started emailing back and forth talking about life and everything. Pretty soon I developed serious feelings for him which really put me into a crisis. I believe that homosexual acts are wrong, but with this attraction for this guy I now am struggling with a serious question. Is a relationship with someone of the same sex morally acceptable if it's based on love? I consider myself a "nice guy" and I am truly trying to reconcile my feelings with my beliefs. I'm open minded so I'm trying to gain more insight by seeing what others have to say. What are your opinions and reasoning behind your opinions? Hi J, First off, I agree with you homosexuality is wrong ...it is totally against God, IMO no way around it. What I suggest that you seek God concerning wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Homosexuality is nothing different than any other issue we get hard hit with, we all have a thorn in the side that we fight constantly...brother, I have a ton of them. One way I would combat the desire is to memorize scripture...now therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Casting down all vain imaginations and every high thing that exalts the knowledge of God, and pulling in to captivity everything thought unto the obedience of Christ. It sounds to me that you have really accepted Jesus Christ into your heart and do have a personal relationship with Him, so with that it sounds like a deliverance issue....Hey, you got my sincerest thoughts and prayers:)
Joe Normal Posted November 26, 2010 Posted November 26, 2010 I'm not sure for sure what to say or what reaction I'll get, but I'm interested in feedback and different peoples opinions. So here's a little bit of my story: I've known I was gay since I was about 13 years old, but have also been raised as a Christian and have questioned my beliefs but now firmly believe in God. For a long time I tried to change myself and live straight. This just masked my feelings though, and the fact that I am attracted to guys never changed. I tried one relationship with a girl, and though she was very nice we just didn't have that chemistry that a normal couple should have. I've always been more of an introvert and shy and I tried to live out my faith so I was ok being single and not pursuing a relationship. But, then I met a guy online and we started emailing back and forth talking about life and everything. Pretty soon I developed serious feelings for him which really put me into a crisis. I believe that homosexual acts are wrong, but with this attraction for this guy I now am struggling with a serious question. Is a relationship with someone of the same sex morally acceptable if it's based on love? I consider myself a "nice guy" and I am truly trying to reconcile my feelings with my beliefs. I'm open minded so I'm trying to gain more insight by seeing what others have to say. What are your opinions and reasoning behind your opinions? Christianity is very clear that homosexual activity (not thoughts) are sinful. So, either you live a life of soul-crushing torment and denial of your inherent sexual nature, never finding love or even a bit of sexual fulfilment, or you abandon Christianity in favour of a more tolerant world-view. You don't have to become an atheist, but I would suggest considering moving to a less institutionalised outlook on religion. Remember, all organised religion is the creation of man here on earth. Alternatively, you can just live a life of denial and end up like those repressed Bible Belt republicans who end up adopting a "wide stance" in the men's toilets when they are married in their 50s or 60s, and then regret never having a chance to live your life as the person you really are. You call.
Recommended Posts