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One-date wonder

crfsti

By crfsti,
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crfsti

crfsti

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Hey LS, I'm looking for some advice. I'm a 27 yr old guy who hasn't had much luck with the ladies so far, never kissed, had a gf before, etc. I've asked out countless girls and gone on plenty on dates, but only able to land that first date then can never get a second one. The girls just seem to want nothing to do with me after that first date:confused:, which is strange to me because they always seem to have a good time(or at least they tell me so). I can always make them laugh, hold a conversation, open doors for them, give them my coat if she's cold, etc.(i'm pretty old fashioned when it comes to dating)So long story short, I have a date with this girl tomorrow who is very sweet, smart and pretty and I need some advice on how do I get out of this "one-date wonder" rut that I am in and have a better chance of landing a 2nd date. What should I try different? What should I change about myself? Any advice will help.

 

Thanks

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jerbear

jerbear

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Getting out of the one date rut depends on both the girl and you.

 

Where are you meeting this woman? Also where do you live? All of these affect the one date wonder.

 

Also, if you have never been kissed then why don't you kiss one when you feel it is right?

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crfsti

crfsti

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are you finding these girls online or in real life?

Real life, I haven't tried online dating yet.

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crfsti

crfsti

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Getting out of the one date rut depends on both the girl and you.

 

Where are you meeting this woman? Also where do you live? All of these affect the one date wonder.

 

Also, if you have never been kissed then why don't you kiss one when you feel it is right?

 

I see, I will be meeting her in the city for lunch, then to watch a air show. And I live in a small country town.

 

Well, I've never known if it is too soon or not to kiss on the first date.

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USMCHokie

USMCHokie

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I see, I will be meeting her in the city for lunch, then to watch a air show. And I live in a small country town.

 

Well, I've never known if it is too soon or not to kiss on the first date.

 

Lunch is not a date...and definitely not a first date...but air show is an interesting and original idea...

 

And if you're interested in the girl, always kiss her on the first date...no harm in trying, right?

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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You're in Cali and referring to an air show in the city... Are you taking her to Fleet Week? I totally forgot about it until I saw some comments about it on FB...so fun! I think that's a GREAT date idea, including lunch. Good luck!!

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xpaperxcutx

xpaperxcutx

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When a person gets nervous, their heartbeat intensifies, in worse situations they normally break out in a cold sweat, and their speech start to falter, while their eyes dart back and forth....

 

Oh gosh! I hope you will not end up like that.

 

Anyways, you're not cursed. As much as it's necessary to make a good first impression, remember that it's also important that you don't end up as a doormat either.

 

It's always nice to appear confidence, a good casual appearance and liquid courage can help. ( not that I encourage drinking in the midafternoon).

 

One thing I will advice, do not talk more than is needed. Bombarding questions and overcommentating on anything is a no-no.

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crfsti

crfsti

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You're in Cali and referring to an air show in the city... Are you taking her to Fleet Week? I totally forgot about it until I saw some comments about it on FB...so fun! I think that's a GREAT date idea, including lunch. Good luck!!

 

Yeah, we're going to Fleet Week in SF to watch the Blue Angels. If it works out, should make for a cool first date story :)

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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Yeah, we're going to Fleet Week in SF to watch the Blue Angels. If it works out, should make for a cool first date story :)

 

I had a great first date there once, watching the Blue Angels... they just look SO COOL over the Bay!! I suggest getting down to the Marina Green as early as you can to snag a good spot. Maybe picnic it?? :)

 

Even if it doesn't turn into anything, it'll still be a cool first date story. You're going to have such a great time, no matter what! Have fun!! :)

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crfsti

crfsti

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Lunch is not a date...and definitely not a first date...but air show is an interesting and original idea...

 

And if you're interested in the girl, always kiss her on the first date...no harm in trying, right?

 

Lunch doesn't count as a first date?

 

But thanks for the advice Hokes's, if the timing/mode is right, i'll give it a shot.

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crfsti

crfsti

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I had a great first date there once, watching the Blue Angels... they just look SO COOL over the Bay!! I suggest getting down to the Marina Green as early as you can to snag a good spot. Maybe picnic it?? :)

 

Even if it doesn't turn into anything, it'll still be a cool first date story. You're going to have such a great time, no matter what! Have fun!! :)

 

Yeah, it will be the first time seeing them for the both of us. I've wanted to for years now, and finally have the chance. And thanks for the advice! I'm pretty excited about it :D

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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Yeah, it will be the first time seeing them for the both of us. I've wanted to for years now, and finally have the chance. And thanks for the advice! I'm pretty excited about it :D

 

They do most of their tricks and stuff over that part of the Bay...between Alcatraz and the Golden Gate (and over and under the GG). That's why I think the Marina is best. :)

 

P.S. Ususally Hokie's spot on, but in this instance, he's wrong. It's definitely a date, and a great one at that. :)

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crfsti

crfsti

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They do most of their tricks and stuff over that part of the Bay...between Alcatraz and the Golden Gate (and over and under the GG). That's why I think the Marina is best. :)

 

P.S. Ususally Hokie's spot on, but in this instance, he's wrong. It's definitely a date, and a great one at that. :)

 

Thanks Star, hopefully it all goes well!

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welikeincrowds

welikeincrowds

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When a person gets nervous, their heartbeat intensifies, in worse situations they normally break out in a cold sweat, and their speech start to falter, while their eyes dart back and forth....

 

Oh gosh! I hope you will not end up like that.

 

Anyways, you're not cursed. As much as it's necessary to make a good first impression, remember that it's also important that you don't end up as a doormat either.

 

It's always nice to appear confidence, a good casual appearance and liquid courage can help. ( not that I encourage drinking in the midafternoon).

 

One thing I will advice, do not talk more than is needed. Bombarding questions and overcommentating on anything is a no-no.

 

liquid courage

 

Listen to this. All of these problems and more are avoided with a glass (or, if you're in a hurry, two shots) of whiskey before your first date. I recommend Woodford Reserve. Also, I recommend a piece of gum afterward.

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ascendotum

ascendotum

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Its funny the different interpretations on this day out by people. I still would call a lunch date a date, just not a romantic date, and I certainly would not have thought an air-show to be a romantic date, though I think its a great idea for a date activity..both parties should have an enjoyable afternoon even if nothing more comes from it. That last past though is what is troubling the OP. It is extremely difficult for LS people to advice you on what to change about yourself. A sister, female cousin, girlfriend of a mate, etc, would be much better candidates to ask this question of.

 

Maybe you are just a little too much of a nice old fashioned guy.

The girls you have asked out, have you known them for a little while and picked up on positive body language or mannerisms from them before you ask them out or are you asking out girls who you don't really know but fancy on looks?

 

I have known a couple of guys who could describe themselves like you and who were not bad looking guys yet they really struggled to get a girlfriend and a 2nd date. The things in my opinion that really held these guys back were, A. They tended to have serious, somewhat boring personalities. Their lack of expression and monotone voice when talking tended to accentuate this. B. They also tended to be cheap when it came to spending money on their clothes, and didn't think grooming was a big deal.

 

OP - Does the topic of how long you have been single for, come up in date conversation? If it does and you answer the truth, then right there, is going to be a significant factor in why you don't get a follow up date. If the topic of past relationships comes up, I would recommend you embellish (lie in your case) about your past. I expect most women on LS will say lying is a not on, but I wonder how many take that approach with their sex partner count (if above average) with a new boyfriend. Seriously, at 27 you are in a catch 22 situation, damned if you do and damned if you don't.

 

I hope your date went well, and you come back on to tell us you have a follow up one for this coming week.

Edited by ascendotum
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