bentnotbroken Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 These poor kids have crap for parents. You need a license to drive, hunt, fish, but not to parent.
twinsmom Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I have to agree with those who are advising caution. I don't think any one of them has told her to DUMP this man, but are simply urging her to be careful, and to lay low until what seems like an extremely volatile situation has settled. Personally, I have to agree with those who question why she would continue to want such a man; a man who threw her under the bus when busted, who told her he hoped they could basically just "satisfy each other from time to time", a man who would allow his children to be in the environment which she described. I treasure my children far too much to let them be exposed to such things, much less on a daily basis. KTD could do so much better, in my opinion. But hey, love knows no bounds, right?
porter218 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Geez! With that quantity she must have ben selling it. Why the heck did he not put his foot down earlier? Like I said before.... keep things calm and quiet till the D is final. He needs to start the paperwork asap! You don't need her to have any ammo against him so keep it at your place. Glad to hear he is all yours now:)
jennie-jennie Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 People post their views; I know some women don't like the fact that others heavily caution OW to not believe all they are told; but the statistics on here alone SHOW that MANY, MANY MM LIE to the OW; and not just the wife It is more the rule than the exception. "Quick definitions (statistics) ▸ noun: a branch of applied mathematics concerned with the collection and interpretation of quantitative data and the use of probability theory to estimate population parameters" (OneLook Dictionary) What we see here on LS is that many OW and former OW are CONVINCED or BECOME CONVINCED that the MM lies to the OW and not just to the wife. As WABW said: On LS you can learn how to completely destroy your relationship with your MM.
porter218 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Why do spouses not leave when infidelity is staring them in the face? For the same reason: IT'S HARD TO LEAVE. CPS can't do anything to MM. Even if the lady had a pound there's not much that can be done with Marijuana, contrary to popular belief. Unless there is enough for her to be charged with distribution, it's a misdemeanor. Like it or not. CPS only steps in with severe abuse cases. Unfortunately, there is little to be done in a case like this unless the mother makes a case against herself with constant arrests and it can be documented. But that would be against her, not MM. It makes a better case for MM for custody reasons. Don't try and scare KTB. GEL Where I live anything over 1 1/2 ozs is a felony punishable with a 12mnth sentence. CPS has no choice but to take her visitation away at first till meeting with her and then after that only supervised...this is based on the fact that W allowed the kids to witness her abusing MM. That is not even including what they can do because of the marijauna(in a gallon bag you are looking at a lb maybe). She is screwed. And they will require MM keep a restraining order on her for a while and may if she is lucky amend it with supervised visitation at a mediation cntr.
Citizen Erased Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 If he had no children I would just advise you to be careful for your safety, his ex is a psycho. But he does. You don't need to wait until the ink is dry, some divorces can take years. But give the kids at least a bit of an adjustment period, before you're having sleepovers. It's so confusing to have your parents split, even more so when they're going at each other in front of them. It's really unfair for them to now have another woman suddenly sleeping in their parents bed the next day. Be there for him, he will need it, but within reason. And be damn careful of this woman, she's nuts.
jennie-jennie Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 As someone posted on another thread, some OW want other OW to join their misery club, which is why they are so quick to tell them to hang in there and allow themselves to be treated poorly. Well, I for one hope you join GEL's happy club of living happily ever after with your MM. One thing is sure, if you don't give love a chance, you aren't going to get any.
JoyDevine Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Yesterday as he got home from work she met him in the driveway. They had been arguing by phone for most of the day. First thing she does is start calling him names and wants to see his phone to do her inspection. It's clean. She still doesn't believe he cut the ties despite promising her. She has been having affairs too sohe said well all's fair, let me' see your phone. She refused and he took it from her hand. She went ballistic on him and started clawing at him and punching him in the Face and pulling his shirt by the collar doing anything she could to get it back from him. Them she threatened to call the cops if he didn't give it back so he called her a psycho lieng bitch and handed it to her saying, so call them. So she pulls up the number and starts to dial then hangs up on the dispatch. She said f you and started walking down the street. A few minutes later the cops are at his door and ask who called 911 SOMEONE is lying. 911 can't trace a cell phone call to someone's home. (I don't know anything about this story, and I stopped reading here. It just jumped out at me.)
jennie-jennie Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 For those that missed this: He asked his mom to keep the kids last night.
whichwayisup Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 That's not true. Many people in the States only have one phone, their cell phone and it's registered automatically when you get rid of your landlane.
Fieldsofgold Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Where I live anything over 1 1/2 ozs is a felony punishable with a 12mnth sentence. CPS has no choice but to take her visitation away at first till meeting with her and then after that only supervised...this is based on the fact that W allowed the kids to witness her abusing MM. That is not even including what they can do because of the marijauna(in a gallon bag you are looking at a lb maybe). She is screwed. And they will require MM keep a restraining order on her for a while and may if she is lucky amend it with supervised visitation at a mediation cntr. Where I live, MM would also be guilty of felony possession of drugs, and would also be charged with endangering the welfare of a minor x 4. He would also most like be allowed supervised visitation. Just because he got mad and ratted her out would in no way exonerate him of all guilt, either for the drugs, or for exposing his children to it. Poor kids are the ones who lose here. I went back and read the opening post of Stupid Stupid Stupid, written just a little over 24 hours ago. This man apparently threw you under the bus at some time prior. He tells you yesterday that he wants to try to work things out with his W, give Hera fair chance, and that he just wants a little bookie from you once in a while to give him something to "smile about on a boring day." Just because his wife has now left under very volatile circumstances, KTD, do you think this is really the man you want? Do you think he will love you and respect you, and be there for you the way you want a man to be? Do you think he is finished with his W? Do you think he will be faithful and true, and honest with you? Is this the man you want to be daddy to your children? Will he be the role model they need? I wish you the best - just make sure he's really the guy you want to invest your heart and yoir children in, the kind of guy you want to bank your future on.
Silly_Girl Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 SOMEONE is lying. 911 can't trace a cell phone call to someone's home. (I don't know anything about this story, and I stopped reading here. It just jumped out at me.) The police had my home address and mobile number flagged so at the first sign of trouble they would be alerted to the history of violence and would prioritise accordingly. Perhaps that's the case here.
jennie-jennie Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I have to agree with those who are advising caution. I don't think any one of them has told her to DUMP this man, but are simply urging her to be careful, and to lay low until what seems like an extremely volatile situation has settled. Personally, I have to agree with those who question why she would continue to want such a man; a man who threw her under the bus when busted, who told her he hoped they could basically just "satisfy each other from time to time", a man who would allow his children to be in the environment which she described. I treasure my children far too much to let them be exposed to such things, much less on a daily basis. KTD could do so much better, in my opinion. But hey, love knows no bounds, right? And people still say these MM are not conflicted?
twinsmom Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Umm, you're saying these men are conflicted?? Come on..he called KTD because he was scared, and needed an ally, not because she's the love of his life. He had recently thrown her under the bus! You can continue to tell her to support this man, but he will throw her under the bus again. Probably in the next couple of weeks. When he decides to give his wife yet another chance.
whichwayisup Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Joy, I responded to your earlier, not sure if you saw that. As far as I know, when someone gives up their landline and just uses their cell phone, it's automatic that it's registered so the number will come up on call display (911) so they will know the address etc. Some people can register their cells too, even if they have a landline.
BB07 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 SOMEONE is lying. 911 can't trace a cell phone call to someone's home. (I don't know anything about this story, and I stopped reading here. It just jumped out at me.) Haven't read all the thread so apologize if it's been mentioned. You are INCORRECT, 911 calls from a cell phone absolutely can and are traced. They do have to be enabled to do so, some are automatically and some cells have this option that is turned on or off by the user.
whichwayisup Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Though I think he disrespected you pretty bad KTD and that needs to be resolved. This!! x100. Hopefully when things calm down, you'll take abit of time to yourself to think about this. How involved you want to be. There's going to be ALOT of drama for a while and right now his main focus SHOULD be on his kids, not on you. No offense by that, K. I just would hate it if he ended up spending more time bonding with you than helping his kids through this awful time. As much as a messed up mother those kids have, they still love her. She's their mom and that bond is strong, the love is unconditional, especially since the kids are young. Please, keep that in mind.
jennie-jennie Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Umm, you're saying these men are conflicted?? Come on..he called KTD because he was scared, and needed an ally, not because she's the love of his life. He had recently thrown her under the bus! You can continue to tell her to support this man, but he will throw her under the bus again. Probably in the next couple of weeks. When he decides to give his wife yet another chance. And when will the OW on LS learn that being thrown under the bus is just par for the course and to be expected? It has nothing to do with whether the MM loves her or not, and everything to do with him being conflicted, torn and trying to do the right thing.
Citizen Erased Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 For those that missed this: Ok. Then they should not continue them as it's unfair on the children. Although, I doubt he'd do that to his children and I can completely see why he'd want the OP there that night, after the experience with his wife. Everyone, take a few hundred chill pills, sheesh. You're not helping the OP at all, any of you.
jennie-jennie Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Regarding the post in general. I'd step back and give the whole situation some breathing room. Be there for the guy, but don't 'be there' all the time. I think he knows he needs to make a choice about what he's going to lose now. Though I think he disrespected you pretty bad KTD and that needs to be resolved. Good thinking, Circular.
Fieldsofgold Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Regarding the post in general. I'd step back and give the whole situation some breathing room. Be there for the guy, but don't 'be there' all the time. I think he knows he needs to make a choice about what he's going to lose now. Though I think he disrespected you pretty bad KTD and that needs to be resolved. Ahem, before this thread gets shut down, back to the topic: The bolded is very important for you to consider.
Silly_Girl Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Well, some of us didn't marry cheaters or former cheaters. I know I married a man of integrity that could beat the pants off all the other men I've been involved with, combined. So, sure, my perspective and tolerance for bullcrap is different. a hubby to smooch, so I bid you good evening. How many years were you the Other Woman? And how many months have you been married? JT, your experience means you know first-hand how difficult it can be when you're involved with a married man. Karma is trying to be there for someone she loves. This isn't a competition about whose man is best or who is smartest for walking away. I find it hard to believe you feel no compassion at all for your fellow OW posters. Maybe one day Karma will look back with as much clarity on her predicament as you now have about your past.
ufo8mycat Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Not taking a side on this but most cell phones when someone dials 911 use triangulation between the cell towers to pinpoint the location of the cell phone. It's been in existence for about 5+ years now The triangulation bit I get, I have followed KTD's story but this bit also stood out at me. So did MM's wife ring the cops? Or do they always locate the location of a mobile phone and send a car just in case even if an emergency call isn't actually placed. I have made a few calls to emergency services when dialing overseas (it is 000 here or 112) and hung up on the dispatcher. Not once has a police car/ambo or fire engine turned up to my work/home/bar/airport. But Australia has just gotten the mains power so perhaps new fangled instant response technology takes longer to head south. Or I have totally missunderstood this part of the story (this one, I hope!)
pureinheart Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Why do spouses not leave when infidelity is staring them in the face? For the same reason: IT'S HARD TO LEAVE. CPS can't do anything to MM. Even if the lady had a pound there's not much that can be done with Marijuana, contrary to popular belief. Unless there is enough for her to be charged with distribution, it's a misdemeanor. Like it or not. CPS only steps in with severe abuse cases. Unfortunately, there is little to be done in a case like this unless the mother makes a case against herself with constant arrests and it can be documented. But that would be against her, not MM. It makes a better case for MM for custody reasons. Don't try and scare KTB. GEL I've never known a kid to ingest pot....I think the only way it is distribution and sales is if it's individually packaged...also it sounds like she has a script for it (prescription). No MM won't go down for her weed...if she has a script she might slide also...weed is not that big of a deal these days. It sounds like shes on more than weed...
pureinheart Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 Not taking a side on this but most cell phones when someone dials 911 use triangulation between the cell towers to pinpoint the location of the cell phone. It's been in existence for about 5+ years now. Interesting huh....hello Big Brother
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