lesboagogo Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I am 46 year old lesbian who lived with my partner for 6 years. I had to move 2.5 hours away to take care of a sick mother and after 14 months (last month) my partner ended it with me over the phone and email. I assume there is someone waiting in the wings and she has at the least emotionally cheated. She said all the usual..we can be friends...she just needs time..blah blah blah. She told me a few weeks later that she fell out of "Love" with me in January...nice she wasted my summer. I was extremely hurt as she was the one always having to say she is sorry. She can have a mean mouth and she is a bit controlling. I have never had such good sex and that is what I keep thinking about...and it hurts to think she will be with someone else...yuk! Here is my problem. After she told me that she fell out of love...I tried to hurt her by inventing a new girlfriend that I was attracted to and had sex with or was going to...someone who was her idea of perfect...it was all sick on my part...and I deleted my fake fb friend and myself from facebook a week ago as I realize that I was using it in a way to hurt myself. ie. waiting for her to delete my friends, photos etc. she was not my friend but was not blocked so I could see very little..but made sure she could see my pages...not sure if she ever even looked. directed things to her in a roundabout way. I'm old enough to know better..and I like a lot of us want my ex back..but due to the LDR she may never run into me or see how "fine I'm doing" . I can do NC and will. Tomorrow is her birthday and I am unsure is I should send a one liner wishing her a happy B. OR should I tell her I made up this other person to hurt her (my gift to her). I know the thought of me with someone else hurts her or should I say nothing? btw. in her last note she has wished me love like Ive never had before...and this makes me feel sick. Of course I think what's the diff...she has had 8 months more time knowing it was or will be over between us. I am very angry as I can't compete with that. I also know that almost nothing out there advice wise addresses this specific problem...other than..she will never come back. I know that its impossible now...but I don't want to ruin it for the future. I am know that I may not want her later...but I want her now and don't want to think that I did something to ruin my chances. I am not a writer like so many of you...so if you made it through this...thank you. I need help with what I should do.
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