Coolsbreeze Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 So here's my story about 4 weeks ago my girlfriend decided to call it quits between us. We were together for about 11 months and it was a long distance relationship. We saw each other many times during that time and we talked a lot over Skype and the phone when we weren't together. She's older then me by about 9 years but that never bothered me. We got along really well and had many similar interests and hobbies. Even with our age difference we still could communicate and do stuff that we both enjoyed. I never had any complaints about the stuff we did just as long as I could spend time with her. We made plans for me to move closer to her in the spring and I was more then happy to do it. I knew in my heart that I would marry her one day and that's why I knew that this was just a stepping stone for me to get closer to her. She would tell me that if i loved her and treated her right then she would be mine forever. I made sure I treated her right every time that I had a chance to see her. Also she has a 3 year old daughter and is divorced. Her ex-husband cheated on her and she was very unhappy in that relationship and it ended on bad terms. There were many times where she told me that she was very unhappy from all that drama that occurred from that situation. I did whatever I could to make her feel better every time that topic came up. I knew that she still cared for her ex-husband but it wasn't something that could be helped especially when they spent 10 years together and he was the father of their daughter. The ex-husband would also text her occasionally and tell her how he made a mistake and loves her and would really want to get back with her for the sake of their daughter but she always said that it wasn't happening. All these things never really bothered me because I trusted her and knew that she loved me deeply. And it was this love that made me get through the day. About a week after she ended things with me she was in a new relationship with another guy. He has many similar traits to me, such as hobbies and interests. And he also lives closer to her. I'm not exactly sure when they met, she told me that they met when she and I were still together. But I asked a friend of hers and he told me that they dated before she dated me. Either way it feels like she left me for this new guy. there was an event that we had planned to go together but she now changed it so that her new boyfriend would go with her instead. I was heartbroken over this, not only because I really wanted to go to this event really badly but also because she was moving really fast with this new boyfriend of hers. I was literally in so much emotional pain from what was happening that I thought my heart was going to die. The pain is still there knowing that she's all happy and having fun with this new guy in her life. It brings tears to my eyes knowing that I'm not the one there making her happy anymore. It felt like she had just replaced me and the relationship that we had built together meant nothing to her. I just can't help but think that maybe this was the real reason that she broke up with. Maybe she wanted to start dating this other guy over me. She broke up with me by saying that we were in different paths in our lives and how our age difference was too large. If this bothered her then why did she pursue a relationship with me for almost a year? I just feel like she treated me as a safe option until she found another guy. It felt even worse when she was able to detach me from her life so easily by telling her friends, coworkers and family that her and I were no longer involved in just a few days. The breakup has been extremely hard on me because she was my first true love and it just hurts knowing that she won't be there anymore. We won't be talking hours on the phone and that she'll continue on her life without me being there. What's been even harder is the fact that she tells all her friends, which some of them happen to be my friends, how happy and wonderful she feels. It's like our entire relationship didn't even matter to her or that it was a joke to her and she was able to recover very quickly. What's also been hard is the few occasional times that we managed to exchange a few words she has been extremely cold to me. Having her ripped out of my life has just been really painful. Is there any chance that she would come back to me? and if so how do I show her that I still love her and want her in my life? I want her to be happy but I also want her back in my life and would do anything to make it happen.
thatsonlyme Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I feel your pain man, I'm going through something very similar, the only difference is that we lived together for five years. She also replaced me like I never existed, she seems very happy but the ways she is acting seems like she's trying to get away from reality. I think some people are just like that, I don't think my ex is coming back and yours neither. Try to move on man, that's what I'm trying to do. I know it's hard for you, but at least you guys didn't get involved as much as we did. We've built our whole life together, nothing existed for me beside her and she always had her own circle of friends so moving on was o much easier on her. Follow advices on this board and go NC. I'm maintaining LC and I'm not sure if that's the best option for me. Stay strong and find someone who deserves you!
xinchao123 Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 She doesn't have a heart. I hope you will realize this soon enough so you won't get into any illusion that she will be back with you, honestly. IDk why there are people like that
fireinthesky Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 It sounds like she doesn't really respect you if she's moved on so quickly. I would definitely go NC. If she really wants you then she will come back to you. I'm in a pretty crappy place myself, hurting a hell of a lot, and my ex too became cold when emailing. You have to take it for what it is - if she's going to be that way to you, she probably doesn't care and possibly likes the attention that you're giving her. You don't deserve that heartache and emotional turmoil. If you stay in contact, let her continue to be offish and show you what a great time she's having, you're only hurting yourself. It's hard, I've been struggling with it too, but am 100% committed to NC now, thanks to the wisdom of many members on LS. Go NC.
Author Coolsbreeze Posted October 10, 2010 Author Posted October 10, 2010 On facebook she has been saying how happy she is and posting pics of her and her new boyfriend. Seeing that hurt even more so I had to block her, just so that I could heal much better.
ShannonMI Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 On facebook she has been saying how happy she is and posting pics of her and her new boyfriend. Seeing that hurt even more so I had to block her, just so that I could heal much better. Stop looking at that damn facebook. Why are you torturing yourself?? I'm glad you blocked her. I looked on my ex's facebook page when we first broke up and I regret it. I couldn't take the pain of seeing pictures of us deleted and his new updated "single" status. It's been 5 months since we've broken up and I haven't looked at it at all and I don't plan on it. He's dating the girl he cheated on me with and I don't want to see pictures of the two of them. I think I would vomit if I did:sick:
Author Coolsbreeze Posted October 12, 2010 Author Posted October 12, 2010 Yea when we broke up I forgot to block it, i'm missing her more and more each day and I've been 2 weeks of NC. I try not to think about her but its so hard when she's on your mind every minute of every day.
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