Whatsup Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 brief history he left (depressed) we have kids he took up with someone else living with her 5 months thing is he really never left me. until recently when i stopped it (and he agreed) sleeping together. The kids were aware but are too young really but i didn't want to set a bad example. (too late I know) He eats 3-4 times at home stays over (now on the lounge) night when I work cos of kids she found out a week ago about us. Don't know what was said don't care really as I said I had pulled back. He's still there. he still kisses me good bye with the kids around. and we still do "couple" things she has always gotten upset with him for things he does with me (don't blame her don't care but don't blame her) But he won't stop Even after dday he hasn't stopped, still staying over, still coming for tea. My question is if it were me in such a new relationship the crp that has been going on and believe me there is more (a lot more) why would she put up with it? She left her marriage to be with him because her hubby cheated so surely she isn't blind? I'm curious. would you as the new partner be concerned? Would you wonder why he brings stuff to where he used to live? Would you be worried that even on the weekend when he is meant to have the kids he goes to his old home? Would you be thinking about the discovery so possibility even if he managed to really convincingly lie? Would it niggle that he won't change no matter how worried you were and if youtried to put your foot down refused? And yes I do love him, don't know whether i want him back after all the lying I have seen them BOTH do but i do love him.
pureinheart Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 brief history he left (depressed) we have kids he took up with someone else living with her 5 months thing is he really never left me. until recently when i stopped it (and he agreed) sleeping together. The kids were aware but are too young really but i didn't want to set a bad example. (too late I know) He eats 3-4 times at home stays over (now on the lounge) night when I work cos of kids she found out a week ago about us. Don't know what was said don't care really as I said I had pulled back. He's still there. he still kisses me good bye with the kids around. and we still do "couple" things she has always gotten upset with him for things he does with me (don't blame her don't care but don't blame her) But he won't stop Even after dday he hasn't stopped, still staying over, still coming for tea. My question is if it were me in such a new relationship the crp that has been going on and believe me there is more (a lot more) why would she put up with it? She left her marriage to be with him because her hubby cheated so surely she isn't blind? I'm curious. would you as the new partner be concerned? Would you wonder why he brings stuff to where he used to live? Would you be worried that even on the weekend when he is meant to have the kids he goes to his old home? Would you be thinking about the discovery so possibility even if he managed to really convincingly lie? Would it niggle that he won't change no matter how worried you were and if youtried to put your foot down refused? And yes I do love him, don't know whether i want him back after all the lying I have seen them BOTH do but i do love him. Hey WU...and welcome to LS...so sorry about the circumstances though. Personally I wouldn't live with a person right after a separation (I don't live with anyone that I'm not M to anyway)...but let's say I did...my radar would be on O/T and I would know instinctively what was up...I would tell him to leave and be done with him... In your case, I can see you want it to work or you wouldn't let him stay over or do "couple" things...for me, I wouldn't deal with that, although you may have your reasons. I think you both should kick him to the curb as you seem like a really cool person...
Author Whatsup Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 Thanks PIH Oh it hurt when he left and i spose the reason I do "couple" things is cause it's comfortable and yeah I want him back some days lol. We have always been great friends.. It is made harder by the fact i left him once due to depression. feels odd being on the other side of it.
Author Whatsup Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 Oh I hope GreenEyedLady reads this I have a genuine question for her. aMaybe she can guide me to a post or 2 was there only ever one Dday or did it come and go a couple of times? what boundaries did you set and when? I am the ex partner. I love him and he does love me. GEL how long would you have waited? forever? taken what you could when? Please don't shoot me I want answers please.
bentnotbroken Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Oh I hope GreenEyedLady reads this I have a genuine question for her. aMaybe she can guide me to a post or 2 was there only ever one Dday or did it come and go a couple of times? what boundaries did you set and when? I am the ex partner. I love him and he does love me. GEL how long would you have waited? forever? taken what you could when? Please don't shoot me I want answers please. You probably should read her old posts. She has been pretty open about not waiting forever or putting her life on hold.
Recommended Posts