llits Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Hello everyone, in a nutshell, me and my gf were together for almost 3 years. We just started a LDR back in August because her family wanted her to stay in Ohio. We had everything planned out to see each other during breaks and whatnot. But out of nowhere, she's revealed to me that she's been going to hookah bars and parties with a friend that gives a bad influence. She said she loves me, and she wants to be with me, but she doesn't want to hurt me because she knows I disapprove of this sort of behavior. She says she doesn't know what's going on with her and she wishes she knew. We broke up on monday, the 4th. And I've been miserable since. She wants to be like, best friends still. However, it's become really hard for me, especially since I always have to start the conversation. She told me the day after we broke up she made out with a friend of hers. She claims it was a moment of weakness, which I can believe because I had phone sex with another girl because I was in a state of vulnerability. But what do you guys think? Do you think this is only a phase? She says shes stressed out and I'm far away and she was afraid that she would slip up in the relationship eventually. That's why she broke up and is doing all that partying. She said she's only been drinking, no drugs or sex with another man. But i'm not sure. Anyone got any suggestions?
USMCHokie Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 LAUNCH. Now go to the coping forum to lament over your loss for a little bit. Then after a little while, pull your head from out of your ass and go out and start meeting new women and dating again.
Omei Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 This is what she's really saying... I want to party, and I wanted to fool around but I want you to be wrapped around my little finger just in case I need you. (aka friends) And the "I am going to break up with you because of fear I am going to slip up eventually" = So I can with no guilt. That's just my opinion you should move on.
Citizen Erased Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 What Hokie said. Relationships just don't last when they're that complicated. The person for you won't act like this. Find someone else. When it's right, things are simple. And that even includes LDR's.
aerogurl87 Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I agree with what CE said. When someone really wants to be with you they will not act like that. I'm going to use myself as an example as I've been in two LDRs. With my ex I was constantly looking for a way out and the idea of just being with him and putting all that effort into our relationship did not seem like my cup of tea at the time. Now with my current boyfriend I don't even entertain the idea of partying or doing anything that would cause him pain, let alone breaking up with him. Sometimes it is about timing, but most of the time it's about whether or not the person is right for you and it sounds to me like she doesn't think you're right for her and does not value you as she should and as you deserve. Take Hokie's advice, LAUNCH.
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