I want to completely not think about my ex, and not even fantazise about her sexually

[health]

I came across a question recently

 

"Did you get rid of you wanting to have a sexual relationship with your ex?"

 

It's been almost 2 years since our break up.

 

I was no contact, not looking at her photos etc eth whole time.

 

The other week I broke, and found myself looking at her photos thinking how she is the most beautiful girl etc

 

It hurts - cause she replaced me - and I feel like the biggest fool - looking at her photos and fantazising - while she's with someone else,

 

It's so challenging cause I feel she was so attractive and it's almost like denying my sexuality.

 

I haven't looked again. It can not be good to do this for healing.

But isn't forgiving and loving almost like you forgave, you can look back?

 

It's just so challenging. When what you thought you had was so perfect and then you lose it, and someone else is with her.

 

It's like part of me wouldn't mind having her again - yet that would be sick - it's like let him have the sloppy seconds - and I know this is sounding just about sex - which is not cool. I'm just saying it's hard to let go.

[Fmrbrknhrt22]

I wish I could offer an easy, simple way to move on from an ex, but the bottomline is there really isnt. Trust me man, I dated some beautiful women and the thought of just having them back for one night in my arms is tempting, but at the end of the day you just have to put your foot down and let your "you know what" stop doing the thinking for you.

 

They are your ex for a reason, dont try and cover it up or make compromises because maybe they are incredibly attractive or seem to have it all and have this great new life without you. Most likely, things arent as fantastic and perfect for her as they might appear on her online profile. Regardless of her situation though which is out of your control now, remember that it didnt work out between you guys and this girl has moved on without you. Now you have option a of fantasizing about her and making the recovery process longer and more painful or option b of blocking her out from your life completely and moving on.

 

The only way I could move on from break ups was to completely block that person out of my life for as long as it took until either they stopped contacting me or I could emotionally deal with seeing them in person again. If I did see them and felt awful, I would go back to blocking them out of my life and for some, I havent looked back. That means removing them from your phone, deleting them or making sure you cant access their profile whenever you go on a social networking site and avoiding situations where practical in which your paths could cross. Only you will know when you have fully reached that stage and it's a process that can take a very very long time as you well know.

 

Good luck, keep your head up and follow your intuition, judging from what you've posted you know what the right thing to do is here, now it's just a matter of sticking to it.

[health]

I wish I could offer an easy, simple way to move on from an ex, but the bottomline is there really isnt. Trust me man, I dated some beautiful women and the thought of just having them back for one night in my arms is tempting, but at the end of the day you just have to put your foot down and let your "you know what" stop doing the thinking for you.

 

They are your ex for a reason, dont try and cover it up or make compromises because maybe they are incredibly attractive or seem to have it all and have this great new life without you. Most likely, things arent as fantastic and perfect for her as they might appear on her online profile. Regardless of her situation though which is out of your control now, remember that it didnt work out between you guys and this girl has moved on without you. Now you have option a of fantasizing about her and making the recovery process longer and more painful or option b of blocking her out from your life completely and moving on.

 

The only way I could move on from break ups was to completely block that person out of my life for as long as it took until either they stopped contacting me or I could emotionally deal with seeing them in person again. If I did see them and felt awful, I would go back to blocking them out of my life and for some, I havent looked back. That means removing them from your phone, deleting them or making sure you cant access their profile whenever you go on a social networking site and avoiding situations where practical in which your paths could cross. Only you will know when you have fully reached that stage and it's a process that can take a very very long time as you well know.

 

Good luck, keep your head up and follow your intuition, judging from what you've posted you know what the right thing to do is here, now it's just a matter of sticking to it.

 

 

You're right, I keep glorifying how she was the greatest - but she never appreciated me as much as I did her. I know things arn't fantastic for her she still doesn't have a job, negative comments on facebook, playing facebook games all the time etc.

 

This is the thing - you said block them until you can emotionally can handel seeing them again in person - I feel I can do this - but what if they are very attractive?

How can you turn that off? It's sick cause now it's like I'm going against the principle I have for not getting with an involved person which she now is - but I'm doing it mentally.

 

Honestly I was the one who didn't look at her photos for almost 2 years now.

I just did 5 mins ago, our photos together, - I look at her like she was perfect for me, just perfect we fit so well.

 

I am scared as hell I'll never get a girl like her again in my mind. I also am very attractive, however I just beat myself up sometimes.

 

I get some weird feeling of security looking at our pics.

 

The thought of not moving on for several more years is so painful.

 

I don't know - she called me always behind his back, even 40 times in a 40 min period once. Which obviously botered me anyway cause it showed she was trying to contact me when she was with him.

 

I guess I'm still having trouble with letting go. Almost like I don't want to right now.

[thatsonlyme]

Two years is a long time. It's been less than two months for me and I'm afraid of thinking that this could linger for years!

I hate having sexual fantasies about her while she's screwing another guy. My sexual life is zero and she's enjoying her honeymoon phase just like she did with me. Having her naked photos doesn't help either

[health]

Two years is a long time. It's been less than two months for me and I'm afraid of thinking that this could linger for years!

I hate having sexual fantasies about her while she's screwing another guy. My sexual life is zero and she's enjoying her honeymoon phase just like she did with me. Having her naked photos doesn't help either

 

That's exactly it!

 

Don't get me wrong - I haven't looked at those pics for 2 years since - imagine healing then going back lol

 

I have been with 3 other girls since, also healed and learned a lot.

 

I just feel that going back on it now can't be good - even though it feels good.

 

I may decide to enjoy this just a bit more before totally stopping. Might as well be now rather than years down the road.

[SadGirl23]

wow, im the only girl posted to this message. :/

 

I know the feeling, but it was eventually pass! Call me crazy, I don't know if its because my ex bf did me so wrong after the breakup in a cold, f***d up way. but we been broken up for 2.5 mths of a 5 year relationship. What a short amount of time, but I no longer give a shyt if he sleeps with another girl. If anything, I am looking for my next relationship so I can get it goin again *wink wink* I guess that's what keeps me moving on!

[thatsonlyme]

I don't want to sound sexist but girls usually have it easier than guys. You can just go somewhere alone and you'll have a bunch of guys trying to approach you. For guys it can be really tough. I've been out of game for so long that I don't even know where to start! How to talk to girls? what to talk about? There are so many guys out there who know how to pick up girls I don't stand a chance against them! I feel like a teenager who's trying to figure out how to approach girls but I'm 31 years old and I have to deal with real women! I just don't feel up to the task!

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

You're right, I keep glorifying how she was the greatest - but she never appreciated me as much as I did her. I guess I'm still having trouble with letting go. Almost like I don't want to right now.

 

Dude, I'm with you there. I'm in that phase still myself, where I go "Whoa...this girl was the most amazing, wonderful, perfect, unique creature I've ever met and she was the greatest thing to ever happen to me in my life...I can't live without her...what the f*ck do I do now?" And friends kept pointing out that I ran after her like a bluearse fly doing whatever she needed me to do, whenever she needed me to do it, and I didn't complain. But she was GORGEOUS, I mean seriously. I've never been with a girl this stunning before and having her in my arms at night was the warmest, most wonderful feeling. There's just no comparison.

 

Like you, I am glorifying this girl. To ME she was amazing and perfect, but lets face: there must be some amount of amazing, perfect, unique girls out there if this site is anything to go by! Every thread I click on has at least 3 people who claim their ex was unique and special. It's all in our minds! The only thing that was perfect about her was the way YOU thought about her. You put her on a pedestal, and now you're gonna need to get her off that pedestal coz there truly is plenty more fish in the sea, you just gotta get your fishing gear and go get them. Then you'll realise she wasn't the only one.

 

I get that you still have trouble letting go, but concentrate on you and not on her. The sexual thing? Yeah, thats a tough one. I'm there myself, and I know it doesn't help to have sexual feelings still. I just try very hard not to focus any sexual energy on this girl, coz I'll never move on that way. She'll still be on that pedestal.

[Shadowburn]

Maybe it's different for women, but looking back at any of my exes, all I could ever feel was a slight revulsion. Like I did with you what?? I can't imagine anything physical with that person ever again. Yet I was in love with them at the time, of course.

[health]

wow, im the only girl posted to this message. :/

 

I know the feeling, but it was eventually pass! Call me crazy, I don't know if its because my ex bf did me so wrong after the breakup in a cold, f***d up way. but we been broken up for 2.5 mths of a 5 year relationship. What a short amount of time, but I no longer give a shyt if he sleeps with another girl. If anything, I am looking for my next relationship so I can get it goin again *wink wink* I guess that's what keeps me moving on!

 

That's good. Moving on is good.

[health]

I don't want to sound sexist but girls usually have it easier than guys. You can just go somewhere alone and you'll have a bunch of guys trying to approach you. For guys it can be really tough. I've been out of game for so long that I don't even know where to start! How to talk to girls? what to talk about? There are so many guys out there who know how to pick up girls I don't stand a chance against them! I feel like a teenager who's trying to figure out how to approach girls but I'm 31 years old and I have to deal with real women! I just don't feel up to the task!

 

Cool. I can agree with that. I don't really feel up to the task either.

 

I met a beautiful girl this weekend, she gave me her facebook. I see her with all these other guys in her pics and just get turned off. lol