Chitowngirl Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Ok, this guy is the first guy I have met in my life who has been married 3 times. He is 52. He was first married at 29, his 1st wife was 32. They divorced 4 yrs later, she ended up killing herself (his story) due to her having mental issues. I can't find anything about her online, besides their marriage record. His 2nd wife, he was married at 39, she was 36. His story is they divorced because after she had a child, her life became 100% dedicated to their child, which I understood because I saw that for myself first hand via a sister-in-law. I am guessing he had an affair during his 2nd marriage because within 1 year of divorcing he married a 21 year old when he was 45. (The fact he married a 21 year old at 45 is gross, but his previous marriages were with mature women so it's not like he's a gross older man trying to only marry much younger women). 7 years later he's 52 and been cheating on his 3rd wife for 4 yrs. (this is what he tells me) He says because she is a lesbian and started to dabble in it when she was about 23. He says he doesnt sleep with her anymore, she is like a child to him, and he won't divorce her because he married her so young it's like he's responsible for her upbringing. He said he "just doesn't throw people away." (Though he's been married 3 times..yet he claims he doesnt throw people away this time...) So he also states it will cost him about 1Million to get divorced from his 29 year old wife (they have been married 7 years and have no children together). I have never felt more connected to a person, so this is why I waste my time posting in a forum expecting to get blasted for having feelings about a married man or even wasting my time with one (I am not dating him, though we dating about 10 times before I confronted him and he admitted he was married, yes he lied about being married in the beginning and was very upset when I figured out he was lying). I just want to know your point of view. Is he messed up? Is he messing with me? I found his wife's facebook and myspace, and she says she is 'unsure' of her sexuality and she posts NO pictures of her husband, though she posts pictures of her having fun with her friends, male and female, dressed like skanks out in Hollywood or having a night on the town) She posts pictures as if she were 22 and living a partier lifestyle. Her husband makes over 500k a year, so this doesnt surprise me, but it makes me wonder: If your 29 year old wife does nothing for you, doesn't even sleep with you, doesnt cook, doesnt clean, you have no children, and she just 'makes appearances' when his young daughter visits... why is he with her? Just because he's been divorced so many times before and he doesnt want to get divorced a 3rd time? I have dated a lot of men in my 28 years ( I guess, maybe not that much), but he is the only person I have met who has really meshed with me. He GETS me. He has some weird things about himself, because the multiple marriages, but I understand why he's made these mistakes. For all I know he could be BSing me, he is VP of Global sales for a reason. So.. Has anyone here dated a man who has been married 3 times, but who refuses to get divorced a 3rd time, even though his current wife doesnt sleep with him or even act like a wife? She just spends his money (what he says..which is very hard to believe..hence why I have not paid him my full attention and tried to date others) but after almost a year after meeting him, he is always on my mind and no one I have ever met lives up to him. Should I contact her? Should I tell him I need to know if she is really as unattached to him as he says? Advice? Please do not rip me apart and call me a gold digger, etc. [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT]
Mike B. Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I am sorry but I just couldn't read past the second paragraph. Where do you women find these guys?
Author Chitowngirl Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 I am sorry but I just couldn't read past the second paragraph. Where do you women find these guys? I LIVE IN FLORIDA. I am from Chicago...but I have met the most wacked out men while living in Florida.
Mike B. Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I can't believe that you are even entertaining dating someone like this but I guess the 4th wife has to come from somewhere. All of these guys around here wondering why they can't get a date and guys like your soon to be husband is just cleaning up the place.
Author Chitowngirl Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 I LIVE IN FLORIDA. I am from Chicago...but I have met the most wacked out men while living in Florida. ***** Though we have spent weeks straight together..he never slept with me. NO intercourse. Just another weird piece to the puzzle. And yes he was able to get it up.
Mike B. Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 ***** Though we have spent weeks straight together..he never slept with me. NO intercourse. Just another weird piece to the puzzle. And yes he was able to get it up. Yeah but people get married before even having sex but I do see your point. He will get you soon enough. Weeks without sex is no big thing. My last LTR, I didn't even attempt sex for several weeks but we were definitely a couple. So what are you thinking?
CrestfallenNoMore Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I personally refuse to date somebody who blames his exes for the end of every relationship. It shows no growth, no acceptance of his limitations and a sense of entitlement. It's always HER fault in his scenarios. He hasn't grown, hasn't learned and plays the blame game. And now he's cheating. Run so fast your feet catch fire.
Author Chitowngirl Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 Thanks. He always says that his current wife is the smartest woman he ever met, despite her young age. I wonder if that's why she's playing HIS GAME? She married him at 21 and he was making major bank, she doesnt work, she can sleep with whoever she wants.... I wonder if I should contact her? But then I wouldnt even see him again..but to get closure would be nice.
Mike B. Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Thanks. He always says that his current wife is the smartest woman he ever met, despite her young age. I wonder if that's why she's playing HIS GAME? She married him at 21 and he was making major bank, she doesnt work, she can sleep with whoever she wants.... I wonder if I should contact her? But then I wouldnt even see him again..but to get closure would be nice. You are considering contacting his wife? Not only does this sound completely crazy but even to add on the fact that you have only been with him for weeks makes it sound real outrageous.
Author Chitowngirl Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 You are considering contacting his wife? Not only does this sound completely crazy but even to add on the fact that you have only been with him for weeks makes it sound real outrageous. No, I'm not thinking about it. I have known him for about 6 months now. I am considering seeing him again in a few weeks so this brings everything to head. Not thinking about contacting her, as the drama is not worth it.
Author Chitowngirl Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 Him? ................................ Youre single right yeah hmmmmm wonder whyyyyy
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I have never felt more connected to a person, so this is why I waste my time posting in a forum expecting to get blasted for having feelings about a married man or even wasting my time with one (I am not dating him, though we dating about 10 times before I confronted him and he admitted he was married, yes he lied about being married in the beginning and was very upset when I figured out he was lying). Ok... you know this guy is a liar. You know that all the things he does to make you feel connected to him are faked. What makes you so damn desperate that you can't forget him? You already know he is bad news. You can feel it in your bones. How physical have you been with him? I'm serious here!
USMCHokie Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 You know the current 29 year old wife who he considers his "child"? That will likely be you in a few years. Who wouldn't jump at an opportunity at that??!?! If you're cool with being just another statistic of his, then go for it.
that girl Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 One divorce can simply be a mistake or two people growing apart. 3 suggests he is part of the problem. Now some people can learn their lesson after 3 failed marriages, but this guy is trying to get into your pants while he is still married. Every divorce is someone else's fault- crazy ex wife, ex wife who was too into THEIR (not her) child, lesbian ex wife. No good will come of this.
Jannah Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 You're a goldigger. There, I said it. We're all friends here...
AverageJoe Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 (edited) You are past your sell by date. He makes bank, he can get younger and hotter and that pisses you off. So extract those claws and call her, see what happens. You play that kind of game, if it were me, I would bury you in at least a years worth of paperwork by my attorney and bleed you dry of anything you thought was of value just to try to keep up legal funding for your own defense. He could accuse you of anything and sue you for it. Of course the burden of proof would be on him however, but by then the damage is done. I will look for your lexmark picture on the side of a plastic container at the counter next time I stop by the c-store for a six pack. You know the one I am talking about, it has the little pocket knife cut out slot in the top of it. Edited October 9, 2010 by AverageJoe
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 You're a goldigger. There, I said it. We're all friends here... I can tell from hear your playing Kanye West in the background.
Author Chitowngirl Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 I want peace, truth and happiness...he cant offer me those..I'm done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jannah Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I can tell from hear your playing Kanye West in the background. Haha, no. Right now its the black eyed peas.
aerogurl87 Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Two words: Serial cheater... if that doesn't make you run, I don't know what will.
Surrealist Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 All of these guys around here wondering why they can't get a date and guys like your soon to be husband is just cleaning up the place. So true.
sugarmomma Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 He lied about being married and you stuck around. You clearly sent a message to him that he can lie to you and get away with it. How could you ever trust anything he says to you? You have some real issues even considering someone such as this guy to be relationship material. He married a 21 year old when he was 45? That in and of itself speaks volumes. I don't do liars. They suck.
brainygirl Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Wow, liar, serial cheater, blames others for his problems . . . . if it weren't for the fact that he's 22 years too old and sounds way to rich and employed I's ask if you'd met my ex-husband. As a general rule, its both party's fault when a marriage ends. If he's blaming all his ex's and saying such bazare things like suicide and lesbian cheating to make himself sound like the victim, he has problems. Walk away. Realize the connection is born of your own lonliness and his ability to say and do what ever he has to in the short term to get what he's after in the long term. You aren't old, ulgy or past your sell-by date, don't waste your life on him.
sugarmomma Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Wow, liar, serial cheater, blames others for his problems . . . . if it weren't for the fact that he's 22 years too old and sounds way to rich and employed I's ask if you'd met my ex-husband. As a general rule, its both party's fault when a marriage ends. If he's blaming all his ex's and saying such bazare things like suicide and lesbian cheating to make himself sound like the victim, he has problems. Walk away. Realize the connection is born of your own lonliness and his ability to say and do what ever he has to in the short term to get what he's after in the long term. You aren't old, ulgy or past your sell-by date, don't waste your life on him. Yea what BG said. I wish there was a like button on this site. lol
Angel1111 Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 It's one thing to make bad decisions about people we marry, quite another to explain actions that bring a person's character into question. The issue here isn't really that he's been married 3 times, it's how he acted in those previous relationships - and his history doesn't speak well for him. If you ask me, he's egotistical and lives in a moral-free zone. There are too many red flags here. And don't kid yourself into thinking that you're going to be the magic woman to change a long history of bad or questionable behavior. I say steer clear of him.
Recommended Posts