confused_son_of_a Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 You can bash me, hate me, call me a douche, selfish all you want. I just want to be honest with you so you can be honest with me. I am really looking for help here because I don’t want to make the worse mistake if it’s something I can grow out of. I am looking for someone maybe in the same boat as I, but found a way to correct it. It has been hell these past few weeks. I realized, after my trip from Miami that I am not ready to stay in a committed relationship with my girlfriend of 7 years. I’m simply not ready to settle down, there are too many beautiful women out there. I’ve felt this way for quite some time now, but was unsure of my feelings. I thought it would pass me by, and I thought it is normal for a guy to feel this way. Now I’m starting to stress out and it’s getting to me. I’m 28, and would like to be free to date other women. We have been through this road before, only for me to return back. I’m not sure if we got back together because I missed her, or because I felt bad for leaving her. She’d call me, come knocking at my door, she would cry, she’d do nice things. Being with her for so long, and loving and caring for each other, I felt like I was hurting her during our time apart. Every time I look at her I know she is hurt, when I go to bed at night I know she is tossing and turning. I hate doing this to her, I'm having a hard time letting her go because of this. We talked about kids, marriage, a big house. I feel really bad I do not feel the same as of late. I am lost, I am confused, I am simply not ready. I’d like to give her my all, and be the man for her but I can’t. Has anyone been in this situation? Am I just going through a phase in life? Will I get over this immature selfish feeling of dating other women? I know my girlfriend will be good for me. Great looking 9 out of 10, 26 year old women with excellent personality and here I am, not ready to settle down. How do I stop this feeling? Or do I not? and just break it off and do my thing. Has anyone broke it off and wished they did not and regret it? Am I making the right decision by breaking it off?, or should I stop going out, stop drinking, stop hanging out with my old highschool buddies, get rid of my m3, downgrade my luxury apartment, give my money to my girl so I don’t spend it on stupid stuff. Maybe I am too spoiled? I seem to have everything and only want more. My current girlfriend isn’t enough? Break it off? help me, as you can see I need some guidance from someone who has been in my shoe. Please, guidance from people with experience. Help a confused guy out. Bring on the hate, I am willing to listen and learn.
Author confused_son_of_a Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 sorry Moderators. Please delete this post, I've posted to dating category instead which was the initial spot but for some reason it automatically posted here, maybe browser issues. Sorry please delete.
grungesponge Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 No you aren't a douche. 7 years is a long lived relationship and I can see why you would feel that way. Maybe your time is up, that happens and its ok. I can't really see myself being with someone for that long and not growing tired of it. If you really feel that way then you should let her go and let her find someone better for her. Most people would probably just call this commitment phobia, but marriage isn't for everyone. On the flip side though, your gf sounds pretty great and a lot of guys would trade places with you in a second. How would you really feel if she moved on and started seeing other guys? I think you are taking her for granted, and my guess is that once you start dating other women you will realize how good you had it before.
Billie The Puppet Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Grass is greener syndrome. Seriously you just based not wanting to be with her because of a trip to Miami where you say you saw many beautiful women which is based on attraction to outer beauty I suppose, All those beach bodies etc. You haven't made a emotional, physical, mental etc just going through the what if's. 28 many here will say that's still young etc. My biggest gripe about your post is you not being honest with her. Why would you discuss marriage, children etc if it wasn't something you were committed too. If you say you were at the time what has changed since then besides what eye-candy you saw. I mean are you losing attraction for your girl because you seen better looking ones? Relationships shouldn't be about trying to get the Ferrari when you have Fierro in the driveway. I have this gripe though because my ex talked to me about all this stuff and we went engagement ring shopping etc and a week later splits. She brought up the discussions so it kills me especially since I was committed to all that.
Recommended Posts